That means Ant and Kimberly are our bottom two. Asi is visibly pumping the air, he's that ready to get rid of Ant. Judge Jeff says the problem with Kimberly's act was her lack of passion and her bad explosion, but Judge Max thinks the basket trick was the real suckhole. In confessional, Kimberly says, "Telling you that you suck at magic in front of all your peers and the rest of the world is not so fun." Aww, Kimberly, don't worry. The rest of the world isn't watching this show!
Judge Max says that even though kids like candy, Ant's costume was a detriment to the act. It hindered his movement, shit kept falling off it, and children almost died. Ant nods like that's no big deal, but awesomely, Asi taps his shoulder and squeals, "Told you!" I wish you could stay around on your own, Asi, my love.
The judges tell Ant his trick was kind of filthy, and it didn't even work well anyway. That's the thing - filthy is cool, but it has to be an awesome filthy. Ant's was not. In response, he says, "I honestly believe Hal and Rocco sabotaged my trick." But he's not accusing anyone! Asi explains the magical bucket was moved, and then Ant chimes in that Hal and Rocco have been cheating for the entire show. Since they've been doing this for two whopping episodes, it probably wouldn't mean much even if it were true. Hal and Rocco don't really argue against Ant's claim, but I'd like to believe they're not so lame as to do that. Rocco would've zapped something embarrassing into the trick instead, you know?
Before the judges can announce who's leaving, Ant says he'll be the one to break his magic wand. Everyone assumes that's code for masturbating, but then he sasses Judge Max and says he doesn't need a mentalist to tell him who's going home. Ant is such a bitch, you guys! That pretty much decides it: Ant's an asshole, so he's leaving tonight. Asi starts clapping with glee and then asks to make Ant disappear. Afterwards he adds, "I hate making people disappear, but...that was fun!" I love you, Asi! (I assume he's reading this because, well, what else does he have going on?)
Next week, the celebs take over a college bar. Lisa cries, Kimberly performs a whorey dance, and C. Thomas Howell flips a table over. All in a day's work, my friends!
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Comments (4)
I love how you can manage to milk 5 pages of hilarious recap out of such a fluff show. Bravo.
I can totally relate to those kids concerning Hal and his butterflies...scary as sh-- memories of the butterfly tent at the science museum when I was 8 floating back into my conscience. I'm surprised you didn't note Ant's claim that the show can't get rid of the villain this early. That's the one thing I liked about him, that he was aware of how this reality stuff works. Other than that, I'm glad he's gone and this show can continue to just be a goodhearted piece of cotton candy.
1 of 4 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 11, 2008 1:53 AM
I doubt I'll ever watch the show, but your recaps make good reading, BQ.
2 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 11, 2008 11:00 AM
I agree, the best thing to come out of that crappy show is this hilarious recap.
3 of 4 | Posted by Nemesiis | Posted on May 13, 2008 12:13 PM
This show is stupid but Lisa Ann Walter is one smart cookie. I don't think she's too emotional, I think she's just playing the game well. And her boobs are definately real. Trust me, you can tell one's that are....enhanced. And Ant is just an all around unpleasant person. I don't know why he keeps subjecting us to his reality show appearances.
4 of 4 | Posted by Bingo Blog Boy | Posted on May 14, 2008 6:42 AM