Another week, another episode, and yet again the Celebracadabra theme song kills me. One of the first lines is, "So amazing it'll make you slap your mama." Really, will it? Thanks for the warning! It absolutely delights me that someone at VH1 really thought this show deserved a specially-crafted theme song, like the series would be that much of a hit. It makes me want to gently pat Celebracadabra on the head, but I don't know, I guess recapping it works too.
We start off at the Magic Castle with the five remaining celebs. Jonathan reminds Kimberly she almost went home last week, so this week it's time to really own the challenge. If there's anything in the world I'd want to own, God knows it's magic skills. He wishes her luck and says they'll all need it, since they'll be performing comedy magic, a contradiction if ever there were one. He produces a lime and a bottle of tequila to give them a hint of where they'll be performing: a college bar! Those lucky, lucky students! The big twist is that the celebs will have to find their own audience, which makes Silly Billy straight-up cringe.
The saddest clown of all.
The group will have to impress people with their close-up magic to convince them to attend the show. This is one of those challenges where Hal has the clear advantage. You know what college students do all day? Watch VH1. You know what's on VH1 all the time? I Love the (insert decade here) featuring Hal Sparks. Sure, he's not a superstar but there's definitely a chance college kids will know him, whereas C. Thomas Howell is...also standing there and no one cares.
Luckily C. Thomas Howell has the magic power of the week! He can choose to swap two of the coaches, or he can have one contestant speak only in caveman grunts. That's right up Kimberly's alley, since that's how she communicates with her boyfriend during private time. C. Thomas Howell would actually be smart to fuck with Hal, which he considers, but then he decides we'd all have more fun if Lisa had to talk like a caveman. Yay, I'm down with that! I've never seen C. Thomas Howell in any other project, but I kind of love him! Everyone celebrates while Lisa and Silly Billy throw total shitfits. Jonathan mostly ignores them and says, "Everyone go forth and magish." Oy vey, Jonathan, you're such a shmageggy.
Sadly, this statement does not sate Silly Billy, who whines for 45 minutes about how it's not fair for Lisa to be picked two weeks in a row. That makes Lisa even pissier, too, and then she stands up and shouts, "This is my fucking real moment! Catch it on film!" Okay, you're Lisa Ann Walter from The Parent Trap. There is honestly no one in the whole world who gives two shits about your real moment. She closes her moment by giving everyone the finger and yelling, "Fuck all of you!" Jonathan laughs in her face before she leaves, and then C. Thomas Howell shuffles his feet awkwardly like, "Oops, did I do that?" It's okay, Urkel, we still like you.
Everyone goes off to practice their tricks, which primarily consist of holding enormous playing cards. Fascinating indeed! Jonathan follows Chris to tell him he's a great showman, and the whole time Chris is thanking him, all I can think of is how much he looks like Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants. I don't even watch that show, but the resemblance is seriously that strong. In confessional, Hal says something about Chris working on prestidigitation, which is apparently magic terminology for "not sucking." Hal can barely even form the word, and once he chokes it out, he eyes the camera like, "What did I just say?" I officially do not enjoy the magic vocabulary. I always want to rag on these guys for making shit up, and then it's actually a term in David Blaine's Disappearance Dictionary.
C. Thomas Howell's magician wants to pair him with livestock again. That's sure to be a hit, a live chicken hopping around a dining establishment! Then he pulls out some kind of...I don't know what, but he looks at it like it's self-explanatory.
He'll perform a swan song?
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Comments (1)
You are so mean! I love it and I hate myself for loving it all the same. I love Lisa Ann Walter though. She makes the show interesting and calls the others out for their shit. I know you have to talk shit about everyone but I like it when you say you almost like her. It makes me feel all warm inside. Hal Sparks can take his "Yanni" hair and go back to "pretending" he's gay on t.v. I don't really even know who any of the others are. Lisa should win...if indeed that is a good thing on this show. I am not so sure.
1 of 1 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 19, 2008 8:26 AM