The magician doesn't even seem to get its purpose, but he says C. Thomas Howell will have to sell it like it's aluminum siding. It might make sense to, uh, use props you understand but that concept seems to elude them as well. What can ya do! While they sing songs from Bye Bye Birdie, Rocco teaches Hal a trick that involves moving balls back and forth between his fingers, explaining it by saying, "I really enjoyed your work on Queer as Folk." Also accomplishing a lot are Murray and Kimberly, who are busy comparing outfits.
For her trick, she'll be trapped under a thin layer of foil.
Kimberly knows she can't become a comedian overnight, so she'll have to use her skanking skills to impress the crowd instead. In Kimberly's own words, she wants to "own the bar, own the college, own the girls, own everyone and make it a show." Well, that sounds swell! Her fellow female, Lisa, does not feel as confident. She says she's never met a fight she didn't like though, which I'm sure is true. Lisa seems temperamental enough to completely lose her shit if someone even looks at her the wrong way, so I can totally picture her throwing down. Silly Billy has to rewrite his material to work around the grunting thing, but even after doing that, Lisa still bombs her first trick. Gonna be a great show all around!
The next day, the celebs head out to find their audience. Hal says the challenge is tough, but I have to call bullshit on that since he'll probably win by default. If all else fails though, he could appeal to college kids the way Lisa does: BJs.
Deep Throat strikes again!
C. Thomas Howell laments how hard it is to find a crowd. They stupidly decided to seek people out at 11 AM, when adults are at work and college kids are "in class," aka sleeping. He tries several times to attract people, instantly failing, so he resorts to dropping trou right there in the middle of the sidewalk. Unfortunately that's probably not out of the ordinary in LA, so no one even looks twice.
Chris has similar luck, so he tries to lure people in by announcing free shows, free drinks, and free hoes. It sounds like he's promoting Kimberly's show, but okay! His magician does not find that amusing since magic is super serious business. I probably shouldn't even be allowed to write this recap, it obviously requires a magic expert. Proving this, Lisa sets off down the street to swallow her balloons. Silly Billy encourages this wholeheartedly, which is completely disturbing coming from a children's clown. I'm assuming, of course, that this is the only real trick Silly Billy knows. Dude is good with magic wands, that's all I'm saying.
Hal wisely decides to practice some of his tricks to gain favor with the public. One of his skills is untying a knot with his tongue, which he demonstrates for an adorable middle-aged woman, who then ruins it by asking, "So, what are you doing tonight?" Get out of this show, pervert! Making dirty jokes is my job! God, rude.
As if on cue, Kimberly pops into frame for the next segment. She loves my dirty jokes; we totally get each other. She and Murray are mostly just handing out flyers, but they're both weirdly excited about it. I don't know what's worse, flyer people who obviously hate their lives or the ones who eagerly force the ad into your hands. They happily skip over to a parking lot to leave ads on all the cars, which goes great until a security guard shoos them away. Whoopsydaisy!
Back in Chris' camp, he tries to attract women by singing, "Enjoy your lunch! I hope you don't mind that I'm looking at your butts as you walk away!" It's a shame he will be arrested before he gets to perform tonight. Degrading people totally makes them want to pay to see you, by the way. When he finally attempts a trick, he can't remember how to do it, leaving Derek to be like, "The show tonight will be very different...." Mm, I bet. Meanwhile, C. Thomas Howell attracts an old queer who lisps about how much he looooves magic. C. Thomas Howell does a trick for him, which basically involves shaking his shoe several times until the lace ties itself. It's cooler than it sounds, I promise. The old guy soils himself, but it's unknown if that was in response to the trick.
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Comments (1)
You are so mean! I love it and I hate myself for loving it all the same. I love Lisa Ann Walter though. She makes the show interesting and calls the others out for their shit. I know you have to talk shit about everyone but I like it when you say you almost like her. It makes me feel all warm inside. Hal Sparks can take his "Yanni" hair and go back to "pretending" he's gay on t.v. I don't really even know who any of the others are. Lisa should win...if indeed that is a good thing on this show. I am not so sure.
1 of 1 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 19, 2008 8:26 AM