For all the huge Celebracadabra fans out there (all three of us), I have to specify that this recap isn't of the most recent episode. VH1 decided to change their lineup and move our favorite show to a new night, giving us two episodes this week! You may not have known this since A) it wasn't really advertised and B) it's Celebracadabra, but don't worry too much. We'll be all caught up soon enough, and two episodes in a week means twice as many opportunities for failure! If you're anything like me, then you're one happy clam.
The show starts by recapping the last episode, and the voiceover guy is eagerly like, "One of them will become the ultimate celebrity magician!" I fucking love that this is an honor. I love that we live in such a world! Obviously the celebs do, too, because the final four have returned for yet another rousing round. Lisa celebrates by looking like a horse.
Tickity-tack tranny from Transylvania.
Jonathan explains the next challenge is most magicians' bread and butter. I'm assuming they have to cry or open for unfunny comedians in Las Vegas, but they actually have to perform strolling magic. Instead of taking the stage, they'll walk around and do tricks for small groups of people. C. Thomas Howell says that's something you might see at a restaurant, a magician entertaining you for a moment. Gotta be honest, I have never seen anyone entertained by that during a meal. In most circles, that's known as "being fucking annoying." If someone comes over and starts pulling coins or scarves out of my mashed potatoes, I'm not amused, I'm asking for a discount on my check.
The celebs must fit their props inside their pockets for the performance, which will take place at Le Bleu Chateau's Mystical Evening Party. At first this sounds fun! Maybe it'll be a French restaurant with a sweet buffet, and the celebs can gorge themselves after their acts! Nope, sadly it's a retirement community. Considering they're hiring a VH1 reality show as their entertainment, it's probably not a very good one, either. Kimberly complains that old folks probably don't listen to the Pussycat Dolls, so they won't know her. If they knew what a talented performer she is, of course, they'd be much more inclined to love her tricks.
The next American Idol!
That's not all, though; there's a twist! Everyone will have a new coach, which makes Silly Billy very worried since, ya know, all the other celebs are decent at magic and Silly Billy is functionally retarded. Since Kimberly won the last challenge, her special power is getting to keep Murray as her coach, which she's actually not happy about. She babbles about how there could be better chemistry with another coach, which probably means she wants to bone Rocco. Unfortunately for Kimberly, he's Lisa's new partner. She's sort of happy and sort of worried, whereas Rocco is just plain pissed. He hates the idea of women doing magic, but let's be honest, it's not like Lisa is going to run him out of his job or something. He makes some kind of comparison between women and rabbits and birds, and I can't understand it mostly because I didn't know anyone took magic this seriously.
Hal's new partner is David Regal, C. Thomas Howell's former magician. David throws a big shitfit because he doesn't know if he should try to sabotage Hal now, and Hal is like, "Um, no?" Sabotage is better when you don't announce it to the group, David! Now that they're paired off, it means C. Thomas Howell is stuck with Silly Billy. He pretends to shoot himself in the head, for which I can't blame him at all. I'm not Ant, so I'm not afraid of clowns, but I totally think there's something creepy about a grown-ass man who wants to wear a costume and get close to children all the time. Silly Billy's tricks are going to be like, "Put a dildo in your pocket and get someone's grandchild to feel it."
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Comments (2)
In my humble opinion BQ, your best CD recap yet.
Poor celebracadabra, it's almost like the ugly middle child of VH1's celebreality lineup, I just want to pat it on the head. There was one commercial about its airing change. But I bet they're playing two episodes this week because the show is so popular...um, right? But who would have known prior to this show that magicians had such fragile, tender egos, especially ones that look like a bleached blonde Sideshow Bob.
stupid trivia note: Murray had a bit part on Reno 911 a few years ago as a coke stashing children's magician.
1 of 2 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 25, 2008 10:57 PM
Really funny recap BQ. You obsession with Lisa's boobies is hilarious and well warranted. They are spectacular and always front and center. And they're real. I know. I've felt them. Anyway, I have to agree that reality t.v. is getting really weird with all of the fake titles for the winners. When was the last time that an America's Next Top Model became an actual top model? And I wonder what sort of fame and fortune the winner of this show will go on to achieve? Is there a land where "top" celebrity magicians work and prosper? Hmmm.
2 of 2 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 26, 2008 7:49 AM