Everyone heads off to rehearse, and David and Hal clash immediately. David's magic is based on props and stories, which Hal hates. He tells David his tricks lack magic, which David really loves since he's a magician. Over with Murray and Kimberly, the tricks are enormously elaborate. She has to haul boxes around, so in order to fit this shit in her pockets, she'll have to come out in floppy cargo pants. Obviously I hope this happens. Kimberly wants to learn every specific detail about a trick, while Murray wants her to just fucking do it, so they break into a weird girly argument. Luckily Murray solves their problems by turning himself into Sideshow Bob.
It's The Krusty the Klown Show!
Unsurprisingly, things aren't going so well in Rocco and Lisa's camp either. She doesn't understand even the most basic tricks, but he's a shitty teacher so they're about even. Meanwhile, Silly Billy and C. Thomas Howell are kind of hitting it off! C. Thomas Howell says that children are Billy's specialty and romantic interest, but the elderly really aren't that far off from kids anyway, so he might be the perfect coach. They both agree about costume choices and being a little creepy, so who knows, they just might work out after all.
The next day, the groups make a gleeful jaunt over to the retirement home. C. Thomas Howell feels really confident, and since he and Silly Billy practiced for hours the day before, he says he has what it takes to be crowned "King Magii." Fuck yes he does! That is the technical, official name of the winner of Celebracadabra, it's been decided. Everyone feels fairly sure of themselves except Kimberly, since she and Murray are no longer speaking. I love that they've both queened out this much. She tries to explain her concerns to Murray, but he just stares at her and goes, "Mm" after everything she says. Love it.
Before the celebs head to the Mystical Evening Party, they have to practice their skills on random old folks, which is kind of cute and sad. Kimberly asks for a guy's name, and he's like, "Uh...Joe?" Aw, puppy. C. Thomas Howell does some weird invisible magic with an old gal, which is super adorable even though she has no idea what the hell is happening. To be fair, I didn't really get it at first either, but his tricks actually play pretty well! Her reply is, "Now I can go eat lunch?" but that's old people for ya. If he made a sandwich appear instead of a card, she would've been a lot happier.
Hal does his tricks for a really cute lady who openly tells the camera, "I was not very impressed." I love her already! The main problem is that he treats her like she's retarded, but he realizes this and decides to treat her like family instead. Even though she hates his act and he kind of talked down to her at first, she acts like she's proud of him, which is really precious. Across the room, Lisa knows better than to belittle the elderly. She pulls up her whore pants and settles down with a man in a top hat, which he just so happens to be wearing. By the way, I fucking love old people.
Top o' the mornin' to ya!
Rocco does the tricks instead of Lisa, so I can't really explain them because he just craps them out 1-2-3. He's really good, but I can't keep up with him and I'm relatively able-minded, you know? His audience is just like, "Where's the bathroom?" Kimberly's audience member says the same thing, but it's only because he wants to fuck her in the stall. No lie, she gives Joe a hug and he yells, "Oh baby!" This is the first erection he's had in 25 years, so it's a big day.
After they practice, Judges Jeff and Max file in for tonight's grand hoopla. I should point out it still seems to be 1 PM, but okay, sure! C. Thomas Howell runs over his material with Silly Billy one more time, and they both think he can really pull it off since no one sees him coming. He has a pretty good point, too. It seems like Hal has this locked in, but C. Thomas Howell can really kick some ass if he tries.
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Comments (2)
In my humble opinion BQ, your best CD recap yet.
Poor celebracadabra, it's almost like the ugly middle child of VH1's celebreality lineup, I just want to pat it on the head. There was one commercial about its airing change. But I bet they're playing two episodes this week because the show is so popular...um, right? But who would have known prior to this show that magicians had such fragile, tender egos, especially ones that look like a bleached blonde Sideshow Bob.
stupid trivia note: Murray had a bit part on Reno 911 a few years ago as a coke stashing children's magician.
1 of 2 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 25, 2008 10:57 PM
Really funny recap BQ. You obsession with Lisa's boobies is hilarious and well warranted. They are spectacular and always front and center. And they're real. I know. I've felt them. Anyway, I have to agree that reality t.v. is getting really weird with all of the fake titles for the winners. When was the last time that an America's Next Top Model became an actual top model? And I wonder what sort of fame and fortune the winner of this show will go on to achieve? Is there a land where "top" celebrity magicians work and prosper? Hmmm.
2 of 2 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 26, 2008 7:49 AM