He's up first at the party, so he has someone write their name on a card. The card goes in the deck, it's shuffled up, and...he pulls out the wrong card. Off to a great start, guy! He stammers like, "Oh. This is not your card?" and his audience is like, "Not unless it says Steve on the back." It is visibly not the same card at all, but the crowd has already forgotten the number. Awesome! He makes the card show up in the next segment of his performance though, and it's one of those things where maybe this was done on purpose, maybe not. That's the beauty of Celebracadabra, y'all, it always keeps you guessing.
Lisa comes out next, and I'm not even being a jerk, she's dressed like a fucking stripper. Old people don't have any shame about sassing someone for dressing trashy, which Lisa should've anticipated. One gal is like, "Lisa's outfit was kind of short, but it'll pass, heheheh." Aw, dykery. Lisa's tricks involve fire, which could go massively wrong but they pass, surprisingly. She's really good at interacting with her crowd, and you know what, I can dislike her all I want but she really kills out there. Not literally, mind you - that's always a risk with geezers around, but she does a great act and even Rocco is impressed! It might just be because her boobs are showing, but we'll hope for the best.
Elsewhere in the retirement home, Hal is unhappy about doing prop comedy. He'd rather take random items and work with them, but instead he has to pull light bulbs and bolts out of his pockets. The bolt is supposed to be from the Queen Mary, but when the trick sinks, he jokes that it's from the Titanic instead. He still bombs but at least he can improvise, right? He's trying! Kimberly isn't trying quite as hard. She's really obviously nervous, but she tries to tie three silks together and turn them into an American flag. It doesn't work at all, so while she stalls for time, she babbles about places she's traveled, like London and France and...hey, how 'bout them Yankees?
Murray must be psychic because he saw this coming.
"Backstage," which is basically just out of earshot of the mostly-deaf people, the celebs complain about their audience. C. Thomas Howell says the crowd won't assist with participation, which is pretty accurate. The old folks are like, "That was nice, dear," even if it's the most spectacular trick in the world. Of course, as we know, none of these tricks fall in that category. Kimberly tries to prove that wrong and really knocks the crowd out.
Oh. Literally.
Kimberly actually wakes the woman up so they can "rifle" through the deck. Aha Kimberly, I know it's riffle! You're wrong, baby! (I've been waiting to catch someone for using stupid words for four weeks now, give me my sad little moment.) She rifles away and then asks the woman if she pulled out the right card, but the lady does not remember what they're talking about in the first place. God, this is the best episode ever.
After Hal drops the prop magic, he's able to do some impressive tricks. He woos one woman so much that she coos, "Take me home." Of course, she could've just been asking to leave the retirement community but maybe she really just wants to bone Hal. He makes a face like, "I can't handle this awkwardness," but that's mostly because he likes to do guys. Then he makes a half-dollar disappear from his hand and show up in his eye, which grosses the woman out hardcore. Hal tries it again and pulls it out of her clothes, so the women announces, "I am wonderful!" She's the real performer here, you guys! A lot of the crowd determines Hal is their favorite performer, but C. Thomas Howell is a close second. He describes his best trick as "a nothing gaffe that is a mind-boggler, high impact trick!" I don't know what that means, but he's good, sure! After he performs, one of the ladies gushes that they'll be talking about these tricks for a long time, which is really freaking adorable. Celebracadabra's all about blowing minds and changing lives.
Lisa says this isn't an easy challenge because Rocco is, well, Rocco. He agrees to consider allowing women in magic if she can really do a great show today, so this would be a great time for some clips of her sucking eggs. Amazingly though, VH1 surprises us! We get a montage of Lisa being talented, especially in the boobular region.
The breast performer in the business.
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Comments (2)
In my humble opinion BQ, your best CD recap yet.
Poor celebracadabra, it's almost like the ugly middle child of VH1's celebreality lineup, I just want to pat it on the head. There was one commercial about its airing change. But I bet they're playing two episodes this week because the show is so popular...um, right? But who would have known prior to this show that magicians had such fragile, tender egos, especially ones that look like a bleached blonde Sideshow Bob.
stupid trivia note: Murray had a bit part on Reno 911 a few years ago as a coke stashing children's magician.
1 of 2 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 25, 2008 10:57 PM
Really funny recap BQ. You obsession with Lisa's boobies is hilarious and well warranted. They are spectacular and always front and center. And they're real. I know. I've felt them. Anyway, I have to agree that reality t.v. is getting really weird with all of the fake titles for the winners. When was the last time that an America's Next Top Model became an actual top model? And I wonder what sort of fame and fortune the winner of this show will go on to achieve? Is there a land where "top" celebrity magicians work and prosper? Hmmm.
2 of 2 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 26, 2008 7:49 AM