Rocco consents that after seeing Lisa perform, he retracts everything he said about her. He goes, "What I meant was that they can do the magic, I just felt that they shouldn't." Well, that clears it up! He says the greatest magic of all is bearing children, and blah blah, sometimes Rocco seems like he's on acid. It should be noted that as he says all of these things, there's a woman standing behind him, happily brushing his hair. So much of this show is one big "huh?".
Time to gather at the Magic Castle! Jonathan tells them he's been impressed with how they handled the coach switching, so that's Kimberly's cue to shuffle her feet awkwardly. She's nervous about elimination since she did so horribly, which is understandable. That sets Jonathan up perfectly, so he's like, "We saw great improvement, with the exception of one contestant." Gee, who could that be?! They call her to the front of the stage and explain the irony of this situation, so she's like, "What are you talking about? My dress isn't wrinkled." Jonathan ignores that and says her tricks were neither appropriate nor practical for strolling magic. Then he asks if she would've been better off if they'd switched her coach, which is so awesome. If she says no, she's lying, but she's such a huge cunt if she says yes. You know what answer I'm rooting for!
She chokes on the cock in her mouth while she stumbles for an answer, but she ultimately says she would've stuck with Murray even if she had the chance to change coaches. Jonathan really can't believe this, so she clarifies that she'd like to stay in the competition no matter who her coach is. She gets spectacularly lucky and will be safe this round, to which she performs a twisty dance step in celebration. Don't push your luck, Kimberly.
C. Thomas Howell openly says, "Are you effing kidding me?" She was obviously the worst, and now she gets to stick around! For a second I was seriously a little panicked over who would be sent home, but then Jonathan announces that everyone's safe this week. Now I'm panicked that this season will run even longer. Are you effing kidding me, VH1? C. Thomas Howell predicts there's a string attached here, and sure enough, there is.
Jonathan says the rest of the celebs did well enough to win, but the judges want to see how they perform on the spot. It's time for a face-off! The winner receives a yearlong membership to the Academy of Magical Arts at the Magic Castle, which sounds completely made up, but Hal is impressed. He says that's a prize he's wanted for a long time, but I'm gonna call bullshit on that one! The winner also receives special powers for the next challenge, which is the only part C. Thomas Howell is interested in. I can't say I blame him because really, the Academy of Magical Arts? Really. Wow.
The judges call Hal up first to do some coin magic. He presents two twin coins that hate to be separated, so he puts one in his mouth and one in his hand, and they jump back together. It's impressive but eh, not the greatest thing ever. Of course I can say this considering I can barely shuffle a deck of cards. Next, Jonathan asks Lisa to do a trick with jewelry, which she did beautifully at the retirement home. She pulls it off with the same skill here, but basically she pulls a string out from between her tits and then lights it on fire. Apparently I'm the only person who's like, "What the fuck?" This is such a sudden challenge, but she had all this stuff stored between her breasts?
Is there a Dollar General between her cans or what?
Before I can rage out too hard over that, C. Thomas Howell is asked to do card magic. He starts the trick and then immediately forgets what he was doing. It's just a card trick, dude! He tries it again, asking a judge to pick a card from the deck and then listening for the proper card within the deck. Sadly he doesn't hear the right one, which makes him look like he's about to cry. Aw, it's okay, C. Thomas Howell. I still love you, even though the judges say you'd be sent home tonight for that piece of crap. Of course that means Hal wins the prizes, which he pretty much deserves. Unfortunately, C. Thomas Howell practically blows his fucking brains out over this. I like my men alive, so now I love him a little bit less.
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Comments (2)
In my humble opinion BQ, your best CD recap yet.
Poor celebracadabra, it's almost like the ugly middle child of VH1's celebreality lineup, I just want to pat it on the head. There was one commercial about its airing change. But I bet they're playing two episodes this week because the show is so popular...um, right? But who would have known prior to this show that magicians had such fragile, tender egos, especially ones that look like a bleached blonde Sideshow Bob.
stupid trivia note: Murray had a bit part on Reno 911 a few years ago as a coke stashing children's magician.
1 of 2 | Posted by Tigermilk | Posted on May 25, 2008 10:57 PM
Really funny recap BQ. You obsession with Lisa's boobies is hilarious and well warranted. They are spectacular and always front and center. And they're real. I know. I've felt them. Anyway, I have to agree that reality t.v. is getting really weird with all of the fake titles for the winners. When was the last time that an America's Next Top Model became an actual top model? And I wonder what sort of fame and fortune the winner of this show will go on to achieve? Is there a land where "top" celebrity magicians work and prosper? Hmmm.
2 of 2 | Posted by bingo blog boy | Posted on May 26, 2008 7:49 AM