Hello beloved readers! Welcome to the VERY truncated recap of the VERY elongated season finale of Celebrity Apprentice! As much as I love to rip on these egomaniacs, as much as I love tearing apart Donald Trump's fluctuating notions of "morality," and as much as I love coming up with much better methods in which tasks can be won than the participants come up with, three hours of finale is simply too much to ask of a mere mortal. It simply can not be done. At least not on my watch. Luckily for everyone involved, much of these three hours is filler. For the sanity of me and those around me whom I love dearly, I will not be recapping anything this week that I deem filler. We shall discuss the grand final challenge and the grand final Boardroom and dispense with all else. Away we go!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Senior Citizen Discount" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)

Welcome back to Celebrity Apprentice! This week begins with our hard-working celebrities hanging out in the VIP lounge wondering whether Joan Rivers will be back tomorrow or if she has quit for good. Jesse thinks she's had it and won't be back, but Annie and Brande have their doubts. They're still riled up about Melissa's tantrum and Brande claims she would like nothing more than to beat Joan at this game. Guess what, Brande. It's not going to happen without Annie.

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Grammy Worthy Tuna" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 1:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Who's ready for another two hours of Celebrity Apprentice? This week is all about body odor, which naturally these beautiful people know nothing about. What's a poor celebrity to do?

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Forgooing the Right Guard" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 9:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Tonight on Celebrity Apprentice Ivanka Trump is dissed, Clint Black puts himself into another commercial, and Annie Duke tells us the REAL secret to her success. Here we go again!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Too Many Egos in the Kitchen" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 1:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

It's that most glorious time of the week again. Time for Celebrity Apprentice! This week we get an overdose of Brande Roderick and Brian McKnight catches up on some much-needed sleep. To Manhattan!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: A Lesson in LifeLock" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 10:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

This week on Celebrity Apprentice we learn that there is not an original idea to be found anywhere in Trump Tower. We also learn that "viral" is apparently synonymous with "midget." Oh also, The Donald pretends to take a moral stand. Join me, won't you, for a dive into ignorance.

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: A "Little" Viral Video Never Hurt Anyone" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Welcome back to another round of Celebrity Apprentice! Fresh off of last week's ego trip, the teams buckle down to participate for a minute in the service industry. Let's see how they do!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Have Another One!" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

So here we are back in Manhattan to see just which "celebrity" can scream the loudest and make the worst business decisions. Welcome to Celebrity Apprentice!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Video Phone Catfight!" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Hello beloved readers! I am honored and humbled to be recapping this season of Celebrity Apprentice! I know I'm coming a tad late to the game, so we are going to bounce right over episodes one and two and dive into episode three. The guys have already lost Andrew Dice Clay (such a tragedy) and are teetering between Scott Hamilton and Tom Green as we return to the golden heights of Trump Tower. Let's watch as a whole bunch of out-of-work "superstars" scream and claw to prove they are the masters of everything. It's a battle royale of the Type A Egos. Here we go!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: Holy Matrimony" »

Posted by Honey Gangsta at 1:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Congratulations, friends. You've made it to the end. No doubt you are now sallow, emaciated shells of your former selves, but such is the price one must pay if one is to sit through the entire season of Celebrity Apprentice. I myself am subsisting solely on a diet of beet juice and crushed almonds, and spend all my time humming quietly to my ficus plant and doodling in a Precious Moments coloring book. Oh well. It's all worth it!

So join me on one last catastrophe - the two hour LIVE Finale / Fillerpalooza! And for the rest of you schmucks (or geniuses) who didn't watch the show but read the recaps, you may continue with what you do best: letting me do the dirty work for you.

Let me just grab a nice tall glass of beet juice and...here we go!

Continue reading "Celebrity Apprentice: Celebrity Apprentice: British People, Although Prissy, and Ridiculous When Speaking or Attempting To Fabricate Normal Human Facial Expressions, Can Still Serve a Purpose" »

Posted by Screampiller at 9:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)