Listen well, my friends, for I have a shocking and compelling story to fill this introduction space with. This past Saturday night, a loathsome clog plagued our kitchen sink. After a run to the store for some Drano, the problem was seemingly solved, as the water went down and eventually disappeared. Great. Time to return to my previously delightful evening of watching Riding the Bus with My Sister. Well, the sink had other plans. After a little while I heard some dripping, so my roommate and I returned to the kitchen, only to find that the "water" (if we can call it that, by this point it was more of a brown sludge) had risen up, up, up to the top of the sink, overflowed onto the counter, and was now gushing onto the floor.
After several minutes of vigorous shrieking and frenzied but useless pointing at the mess, we called both our landlord and our handyman. Neither answered, as this all took place at 12:30 at night. I called an emergency plumber, but they wouldn't come over and do anything without the permission of the landlord. So it was off to the 24-hour supermarket to buy a plunger. A rather odd purchase for one in the morning, true, but we pulled it off with finesse and, I like to think, a microscopic shred of dignity. We returned to the gushing torrents and plunged away for quite some time, to no avail. Eventually we gave up and just started filling pots and pans with the sludge and dumping it in the backyard. It continued to gurgle and rise, as if to spite us, but at long last it stopped and we were able to clean ourselves up. This proved to be quite difficult, as apparently Drano and sink sewage combine to form a powerful alliance against hand soap.
I also knocked my roommate's deodorant into the toilet during one of our many hand-washings. It was par for the course. And now, for another sort of sewage, here's some Celebrity Apprentice.
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