Hello beloved readers! I am honored and humbled to be recapping this season of Celebrity Apprentice! I know I'm coming a tad late to the game, so we are going to bounce right over episodes one and two and dive into episode three. The guys have already lost Andrew Dice Clay (such a tragedy) and are teetering between Scott Hamilton and Tom Green as we return to the golden heights of Trump Tower. Let's watch as a whole bunch of out-of-work "superstars" scream and claw to prove they are the masters of everything. It's a battle royale of the Type A Egos. Here we go!
We begin this episode with both teams hanging out in the VIP lounge where they can watch portions of the boardroom drama on a plasma screen. They are all speculating as to who will be coming back to join them for another week and who will be sent back into "has-been" or "almost-was" obscurity. Will Tom Green be returning to fulfill his promise of being Project Manager? Or will Scott Hamilton return to twirl and sow-tow his way through the next challenge? And here comes... Tom Green! Jesse James tells the camera that Tom Green is just one of those talented people who is a dip$#!* and you just have to put up with him. Ha! That's actually what I'd say about most of these "celebrities," except the talent part is questionable.
Next Khloe Kardashian - who definitely falls into the WTF? "celebrity" category, - delivers a check to her charity from her win last week. Her chosen charity is the Brent Shapiro Foundation for Alcohol and Drug Awareness. The reason for this is not, as you might imagine, that Khloe Kardashian has a concern for alcohol and drug awareness. In fact, I'd venture to guess that she is quite aware of both alcohol and drugs and the exciting affects they've had on her "career." But no, the reason she chose this charity is that Brent Shapiro is the deceased son of Robert Shapiro who was an attorney on the OJ Simpson murder trial along with Khloe's father. Not to be mistaken for the frozen-faced Bruce Jenner, who is Brody Jenner's father, and not Khloe's father, but her stepfather. Got all that? Good. Suffice it to say that Khloe Kardashian is a raging philanthropist who will be bringing much alcohol and drug awareness to the masses. In fact, she tells us that she herself has had a DUI - get out of here! - and it's taught her SO MUCH. Thank you, Khloe Kardashian. Society is much obliged and we hope to see more of you. Just not behind the wheel.
Later the teams meet up in front of St. Bartholomew's church to get this week's low down from The Donald, Ivanka, and George (returning to fill in for The Donald's other kid). First off, The Donald says that Joan Rivers won't be here today, but she'll be back tomorrow. So funny how "celebrities" only have to show up when they want to - for game shows, for rehab, for court, whatever, because they have "work." Then The Donald tells everyone that St. Bartholomew's is well-known for weddings. And who doesn't love weddings? Is he serious? Weddings are the worst unless they're your own - as The Donald also acknowledges by bringing up his own slew of weddings. Anyway, this week's task will be for each team to sell wedding dresses out of a provided retail space. Right away Brian McKnight is irritated. He thinks the men are already at a disadvantage merely because they are men. He says that women spend their whole lives dreaming of getting married and men spend their whole lives hoping they never get there. True dat! You know what's also true, though, Mr. McKnight? When men finally do crumble and get married, they realize it's the best thing they ever did and wonder why they waited so long. Women, on the other hand, are usually completely disappointed and wonder what the big hurry was all about. So who's complaining? RK Bridal is getting a big plug by donating all the dresses. Each team gets 125 dresses to sell and whoever makes the biggest profit wins - simple as that. The Donald calls out Dennis Rodman, saying he should be good at this task since he appeared publicly in a wedding dress once. That's business logic if I've ever heard it. Time to choose Project Managers!
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Comments (11)
(Uh, I'm undercover.) Great recap Honey. I had missed this episode so I'm glad you recapped it. Sorry to see Tom go. He's attractive but he definitely has ADD.
I'm rootin' for Jesse James. He just exudes everything I need to work on.
1 of 11 | Posted by Secret Agent Man | Posted on March 21, 2009 3:19 PM
Honey Gangsta, I Think the only reason why Dennis was kept was he is controverial and will bring in the viewers. Mark my Words DENNIS will be one of the LAST Guys on the SHOW!!! THANKS HONEY GANGSTA for all you do!!!
2 of 11 | Posted by shelterman | Posted on March 21, 2009 3:39 PM
The Donald has a man (or whatever) crush on Dennis Rodman. He was the same way last season with that blonde lady hockey player or whatever she was. I think he totally chooses favorites.
Dennis Rodman is totally useless. However, I have a great respect for Jesse James. I was wondering, before seeing him on here, what Sandra Bullock saw in him. But, I have to say, he is totally cool. And hot!
As for the women, I am really impressed with the Rivers ladies! Great business minds! Who knew?
I do think you're right about DR being around a long time. He makes for good TV, but he's a total douche.
3 of 11 | Posted by scottywrangler | Posted on March 21, 2009 5:58 PM
Hi, Honey, the recap was terrific!
Have you noticed that The Donald is doing something different with his hair? I wouldn't have believed it could look WORSE than it used to, but it does!
Dennis is going to get desperate and quit next week. To me, he is not controversial--just a lazy-ass drunk.
The women seem to be actually trying to do what they are supposed to and win challenges. The men--well, I'm not sure what they are trying to do.
BTW, Honey, it is salchow not sow-tow. And not all the challenges are based on bringing in money. For instance, last week they had to design a cartoon superhero to sell shoes online.
4 of 11 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 21, 2009 6:01 PM
If all tasks were based on business savvy then Joan would win. Her line of jewelry has been her main source of income for years, well that's the word I hear. Anyhoo, CA almost always comes down to who has the richest friends. I hope the donars gave their dresses to woman who are in need.
How creepy is DR and why would any woman actually have sex with him? I couldn't do it even for money ugh!
Honey I love you! You make every show you review so much more fun to watch.
5 of 11 | Posted by Quean CeCe | Posted on March 22, 2009 5:58 AM
First I will say up front I love Dennis Rodman. Having interviewed him one on one, I can vouch for him being extemely personable and very nice...far different than I expected. I didn't even have to edit the audio or bleep anything out.
That said, I don't believe he really wants to be on this show, or the producers have asked him to behave a certain way for maximum controversy. He has demonstrated on the basketball court and on other reality shows like Celebrity Mole he is brilliant. He never writes things down, but remembers everything. If he was in this to win, he wouldn't be behaving in such a nonchalant manner.
6 of 11 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on March 22, 2009 11:28 AM
Rodman was always a diva and upon occasion quit in the middle of a game because he wasn't happy with how it was going or his playing time or whatever. I think something just set him off and he has just shut down.
You would think he'd put forth some effort for his charity if not for pride.
7 of 11 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 22, 2009 6:01 PM
I LOVE Jesse James. I'm amazed at how smart and calm he is (esp in the face of some of these wackos) I hope he wins the whole thing.
8 of 11 | Posted by lifesabeach | Posted on March 23, 2009 8:59 AM
In one of the previous episodes, I was really surprised when Jesse James said that he didn't have any rich friends to call for donations so he was doing other stuff to be an asset to the team. I was thinking... isn't your wife Sandra Bullock?! Call mami and tell her to open the check book. But maybe they aren't allowed to do that because it might be seen as using their own money, which also isn't allowed.
9 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on March 23, 2009 2:10 PM
Uh, (I'm undercover) when I first read your recap I thought it was a little angry but after watching the show online I don't think you were angry enough. Dennis and Tom were both DICKS. I don't like how they treated that Russian woman. They're both slimeballs. One down one to go.
10 of 11 | Posted by Secret Agent Man | Posted on March 25, 2009 8:13 AM
I love this season mostly because of Joan Rivers. Melissa Rivers actually blogs for Fancast and gives lots of dirt.
11 of 11 | Posted by meg4fancast | Posted on March 25, 2009 9:33 PM