It's that most glorious time of the week again. Time for Celebrity Apprentice! This week we get an overdose of Brande Roderick and Brian McKnight catches up on some much-needed sleep. To Manhattan!
We begin this week's episode with wrapping up last week's all around farce. In the VIP lounge Joan Rivers is vehemently declaring that she will not work with Clint Black again, so she's glad that there is no one to blame for this task's debacle except for him. Just then Clint and Natalie come strolling into the room and a collective gasp erupts. Joan tells us that she's been sick to her stomach from working with Clint and she just can't do it anymore. Both Clint and Melissa are dumbfounded because they were certain that they would be the ones to be fired. And we all know that they SHOULD have been, but The Donald has another agenda - which isn't, by the way, a crusade against drunk driving. It's a crusade against dropping ratings, so please give us a break and come down from the soapbox, your majesty.
This week we skip the obligatory meeting with a charity rep because both teams sucked so badly last week that children will have to continue to starve all over the world. Instead the teams meet up with The Donald to see about their next attempt at reviving their own careers.
First The Donald assigns Brian McKnight to team Athena. Remember, he had last week off to give a concert, which certainly is not grounds for dismissal. Then The Donald dares anyone to have a problem with his Boardroom decisions of late. Well Joan Rivers dares. She thought that when a team captain performs badly, that team captain has to account for it. The Donald explodes in a series of platitudes about learning one's lesson and public safety and Khloe drove drunk and she was so boring to watch it was ruining my show... oops I mean I will not stand for celebrity drinking and you too, should watch yourselves, case closed. Thank you, Donald Trump. That was so convincing that I'm sure Hollywood will be free of drunk drivers from here on out. What is on today's sober agenda? Well I'm glad you asked because it's identity theft. Todd and Andrew from Lifelock are here to throw down the gauntlet. The teams each have to create a package and retail store display to promote Lifelock. They will be judged on brand messaging, packaging and original design. In case you don't know what Lifelock is, it's a company that guarantees security of your identifying information. Their current campaign is to put their CEO's social security number right out in public on all of their marketing material to show just how bullet proof their protection is. I have no idea how they do it or how any of it works, but today we will be coming up with pretties to get the word out about their services. Now choose Project Managers!
KOTU chooses Natalie, whose main task will be keeping Joan Rivers and Clint Black from scratching each other's eyes out. Athena chooses Brian McKnight, which I don't get because he's already been a project manager. I remember because instead of launching a video phone he gave a Brian McKnight concert and acted like it was the biggest favor humanity has ever received. Thanks again for that, Brian McKnight. He tells us that after being gone for a few days to give another life-altering concert, it was really hard for him to get up early today. These poor people and their tortured lives. We need to set up a charity for THEM and let them take a break from all of their giving. Anyway, Little Donny is missing again this week - he's at his DUI hearing - so George and Ivanka will be the eyes and ears.
Todd and Andrew sit down with team Athena first. Annie Duke sits and fires question after question at the execs while Brian tries really hard not to take a nap on the conference table. At team KOTU, Joan Rivers pushes to have their campaign based around humor. Joan, we all know you can crack a joke. What else have you got? Clint wants to know if they will all be receiving free Lifelock memberships. And of course they will because no one needs a handout like the richest people in America.
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Comments (9)
The funniest things about this week's episode were A.) when Brian McKnight attempted to sound smarter than he actually is...by using the word "concretize." Yes, it's a word these days, but one which sounds ridiculous when in a sentence. And B.) Ivanka's jewelry which she ostensibly designed. It ranges from Avon cast-offs to tacky boulders and table costers strung on chains. Ug. Ly.
Jesse should learn to embrace sick days. They prevent the spreading of germsto other people. Of course, that train of thought implies caring about others...a trait severly lacking in celebrities.
I can't decide who I hate more: Joan, Melissa, or Annie...all of them need to SHUT UP.
1 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 17, 2009 7:09 AM
Also, is there anything Melissa DOESN'T feel she is an expert in? You know she's produced innumerable shows...she also knows jewelry (since mommy gave her a place in the jewelry company)...and of course, she has extensive knowledge about fashion (as demonstrated by her "stunning" wardrobe.) Blah Blah Blah.
I wonder, if the opportunity arose during a challenge, if she'd be willing to be so open about her obvious personal experience with plastic surgery...
2 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 17, 2009 7:19 AM
One more thing...
Why wasn't there any kind of backlash against Joan for her comment about most female golfers being lesbians? If someone like Isaiah Washington, Mel Gibson, or Rush Limbaugh had said something like that, the media would have torn them apart for it.
3 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 17, 2009 7:22 AM
Uh, I haven't read the recap yet but in response to cattyfan's last comment, "uh, I think The Truth is a real defense."
4 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 17, 2009 9:26 AM
So...it's the truth when Joan says it, but if a conservative says it, it isn't?
5 of 9 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on April 17, 2009 9:38 AM
Plus, joan was joking. I think when Isaiah, Mel and Rush say stuff like that -- they mean it and they believe it.
6 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 17, 2009 9:39 AM
uh, and remember, Joan will do ANYTHING for a laugh. Didn't she offer to show her breasts earlier doing the series?
7 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 17, 2009 9:42 AM
LifeLock Todd should told them that his identity has been stolen several times. I find that mess hilarious! A bunch of people even filed a class action lawsuit against the company.
Joan, Melissa, Annie, and Clint all suck but they are the only interesting people on the show. The worst one to me is Herschel and that 1988 Electric Booglaloo shag hair cut
8 of 9 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on April 17, 2009 9:58 AM
okay, you are so mean to that Brandee. Just because she acts stupid around men so they'll (like her?) (feel smarter?) (whatever?) is no reason to hate her.
I just see her as completely expendable.
uh, why didn't Melissa go to Brandee and rat out Annie? I would have.
What I didn't understand was why Joan was all upset; throwing her champaign, etc. I was watching these scenes thinking, "Calm down old woman." Anyway, great recap. Thanks for doing it!
9 of 9 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 17, 2009 12:30 PM