We begin this week with the candidates in the loft speculating about who will be going home. Piers, who seems to be upping his British Quotient more and more each week, teases Jennie for throwing Nadia, her childhood hero, under the bus. Also, pip pip, and cheerio. Meanwhile, Nely is losing her shit and crying into Cryptkeeper Carol's arms after the boardroom. I guess she's sad about Nadia getting fired, but it could also be that she feels guilty for stealing a sparkly Paris barrette from her eight-year-old niece.

"It's just so sparkly! I couldn't help myself!"

The Donald meets the kids next to the river, presumably just so he can make a mob joke to Vincent Pastore. Oh, The Donald. You're just so goddamn hip. Your witty pop culture panache eclipses us all. He introduces Ivanka, and Jim Cramer, the stock market imp! Dance, economy troll! Trump gives Gene the check for his charity, the Pediatric AIDS Foundation, then offers him the chance to switch teams and be the project manager for the ladies. Gene takes off his sunglasses, because by now we all know he can't think with them on, and agrees to switch, thereby becoming, in his words, "the king of all women." Charming. He then tells calls Trump the Devil, which prompts this look:

"So you have chosen...death."

Trump then introduces the corporate yahoos from Kodak, who explain that their task is to create a Kodak experience on the streets of New York, using a large bus, several cameras, an all-in-one printer, a paper clip, a rubber band, and a used piece of chewing gum.

Gene starts off by informing the ladies that they are now mired in a benevolent dictatorship. Most of them nod and smile and drool a little. Ahhhmarosa is the only one who seems to have a problem with it, but she's probably just sad because her hat is broken.

Aw.

Gene makes the executive decision to only have a couple team members meet with the executives. Then he starts talking about himself in the third person, and how Gene Simmons doesn't need to go to any stinking meetings and Gene Simmons IS Mr. Outside-The-Box. Though I'm guessing Gene Simmons has spent much more time in boxes than outside of them, if you catch my drift. Then he mugs for the camera some more and I throw up in my mouth. He decrees that the slogan of their campaign will be "It's a Kodak World. Welcome." He then repeats this approximately thirty-seven times, each time further proclaiming its brilliance and further incurring the wrath of America.

Meanwhile, Hydra, led by project manager Tito Ortiz, meets with the Kodak people. The execs stress that what they're really selling here is the low-priced, high-output ink. The ink is what's important, they say, trotting out two differing stacks of paper to compare the ink output. INK! INK! Piers Morgan, lightning-quick on the uptake, says something like, "So, what you're really selling is ink." The Kodak executives nod and, sans sarcasm, tell him that he's very astute. Haha. Who ARE these people?

Nely and Cryptkeeper Carol meet with the executives next, who take several minutes to recover from the initial shock of Nely carrying a bag made out of a human child's head:

You monster!

The executives begin to happily show the ladies the precious paper stacks, but then Nely opens her mouth and doesn't shut it for several hours. The executives attempt to yell "Ink!" at her every once in a while, but it doesn't stick and they end up looking pretty perturbed. Though maybe the woman is just sad because she misses her Dark Crystal buddies.

The two ladies return to the rest of their team to relay all of the false information, only to have Gene shoot it all down anyway. He suggests that the Kodak executives don't know what's good for Kodak. But he does. He also informs us that if he were sitting on the sidelines, he'd say, "Gene Simmons, you are a powerful and attractive man." I'd again like to stress that I am not making this up.

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Posted in Celebrity Apprentice by Screampiller at 7:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)
Last Comment: oliverandharry on Jan 23, 2008 04:48 PM.