When the Kodak execs show up, Piers hits them over the head with the ink concept, which is printed in giant letters throughout the bus. "INK!!!" it says. And "INK!!" Piers yells into the execs' faces. They stare at the terrible signage, and look displeased.
"I really wish he would mention something about the ink."
Later, the execs meet with The Donald and inform him of their favorite. From the way they're talking about the whole thing, it sounds like they hated the guys and loved the girls. Great. Now return to the cave from whence you came.
In the boardroom, Trump asks Gene why he didn't meet with the execs. Gene takes his sunglasses off. Good Lord, not again. He calmly explains to The Donald that he didn't care to listen to what the execs had to say, repeats the slogan YET AGAIN, and pretty much says that he should be president of Kodak. Trump kind of snickers, then turns to Hydra, who explain the computer fiasco. Jim Cramer puts in his two cents, imping that Empresario had the better presentation, but Hydra had the better message. Trump says that the execs agreed, and announces Hydra the winner, making this the first time in history a reality show has actually succeeded in using misdirection.
Once Hydra leaves to watch the proceedings from the loft, Trump asks Gene what happened. Gene smugly replies that the Kodak executives are wrong. Ivanka, inexplicably dressed for the senior prom, tells the team that the execs were miffed because they felt that they weren't being listened to. Trump agrees that the problem was that since only two people went to the meeting, there weren't enough ideas about how to go forth with the concept. Gene once again insists that he's right and Kodak is wrong, and keeps defending his position with nothing more than a conceited smile, further confounding Stock Gnome, The Donald, and his spawn.
"Vote Ivanka for Homecoming Queen!"
Trump tells Nely that the execs felt that she talked too much in the meeting. Cryptkeeper Carol agrees. Gene interrupts this conversation - no joke - to repeat the slogan yet again. Ahmarosa says that he doesn't even know the name of the product. Trump asks him what it is, so Gene points to his hand, where he has it written down, and reads it. Incorrectly. Seriously, this guy just recaps himself.
Trump quizzes the rest of the team, and the ladies come to the consensus that it is Gene who should be fired, except for crazy Nely, who picks Jennie. Whatever. Enough of this insanity. Pick two people, Gene. Gene asks if he can only pick one, and once he gets the go-ahead he names Ahmarosa. Trump correctly chastises him for this decision, as Ahmarosa, for once, did not have anything to do with the team's loss. Gene continues to smile vacantly. Trump demands that he pick another name, perhaps Nely, who has been miserably failing for the past two weeks. But no. Gene picks Jennie. Okay, he's clearing throwing the game.
Trump is incredulous. Jim Cramer puts his head in his hands. So it's come to this. Is there no dignity left in the world of reality television?? Ivanka, Jim, and The Donald all gape openmouthed at each other for a while, clearly not catching on to Gene's little plan. Dudes and dudette: he WANTS to be fired. Isn't it blaringly obvious by now?
Trump bellows to Annette, the strumpet secretary of the week, to let them back in. Annette, apparently a top pick from the Paris Hilton Temp Agency, tells them to go in, then goes right back to pretending to type up an important document. Calm down, sweetie. That Dramatic Chipmunk isn't going anywhere.
"I has a computer. Typeity type type!"
As they return to the boardroom, Gene asks for Ahmarosa's hand. Jim Cramer does not approve.
"Oh, the HUMANITY!"
Ahmarosa and Jennie both call shenanigans on Gene picking them to come back in with him. So does Trump. Long story short, since he can't fire either girl because they didn't do anything wrong, he fires Gene, telling him he had no choice. Gene, satisfied with the ending that he was so clearly asking for, says he respects the decision. He boards the elevator, tells the poor operator kid "Down, Jeeves," and plummets back down to obscurity. In the limo ride, he informs us that the women don't have a "popcorn fart chance of shining the guy's shoes." Class act, all the way.
Goodbye forever.
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Comments (16)
Although Gene is an Ass Hat, there is no question that he is a marketing genius. Maybe he was right about the Kodak drones being wrong. I certainly thought based on the footage that we were shown that his teams trailer was far superior to the guys. It was quite obvious to me that at the end he wanted to go home. Oh well he did give plenty of fodder for the recap. He will be missed.
1 of 16 | Posted by CHRISW78 | Posted on January 22, 2008 10:09 AM
Best. Screen Captures & Comments. Ever.
2 of 16 | Posted by Devlin | Posted on January 22, 2008 10:26 AM
Even though Gene seems like a caricature of himself sometimes, I like him. The charities just lost out on a big money-maker.
3 of 16 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on January 22, 2008 11:41 AM
Gene Simmons turned out to be a funny guy. Too bad he sabotaged the show and left.
I think he was right about the slogan. It is brillaint.
4 of 16 | Posted by soflat | Posted on January 22, 2008 12:28 PM
This is a greap recap! Lots of super funny things; from the idea of Baldwin not taking his Ritalin to the caption below Trump's secretary's photo. And your take on Gene is so right on.
Killer recap! Loved it!!
5 of 16 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on January 22, 2008 1:06 PM
Awesome recap! I especially loved the "how not to download Java" screencap, lol.
I think the show will get even more boring now without Gene. I guess all we have to look forward to are Piers' generic insults. Oh well.
6 of 16 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on January 22, 2008 1:30 PM
"Ahhhmarosa is the only one who seems to have a problem with it, but she's probably just sad because her hat is broken."
LOL
Gene's ego couldn't take it. If he didn't win he wanted to go home. His trailer was way better, and he did miss the whole point. Yahhtzee!
7 of 16 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on January 22, 2008 2:34 PM
I agree, hilarious recap and captions!
I watched the past six seasons obsessively, but I haven't watched this season yet. I think I'll stick with your recaps only ... the show and its participants seem really full of themselves, and I don't know if I can watch an hour of that.
8 of 16 | Posted by Kathleen | Posted on January 22, 2008 6:26 PM
And the Golden Globe for funniest caption goes to... "How not to download Java"!
Your recaps really do manage to turn recycle worthless garbage into something precious!
9 of 16 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 22, 2008 7:23 PM
As much as I couldn't stand Gene, I'll miss him just because he's so...random...I laughed so hard when he suddenly interrupted a conversation that had nothing to do with him just to say the slogan again
10 of 16 | Posted by cookie49 | Posted on January 23, 2008 5:38 AM
A few things:
First, this was your best work yet. I lollerd a lot, and the people at work now think i am a dufus...well, to be fair, they already thought that, but anyway...
Ivanka: Loves me some her. I was looking at her and when she first came out in that tan suit all I could think was her breats are HUGE HUGE HUGE! Very hippy, loves them curves. Then when they showed the legs getting out of the limo, I was like, who has those little bird legs...I thought carolyn was back for a second, but no, it is my beloved Ivanka! Woot! Skinny little legs, big boobies...great curves, what a dame! :)
That "secretary" (sp?)...wtf...worst...actor....since johnny fairplay...
And lastly, my favorite line from the episode was left off. When the execs were there, a woman walked towards Gene. He twirled her around and said "come this way, just cause I said so".
LOL...love it...
11 of 16 | Posted by Pappy | Posted on January 23, 2008 6:44 AM
[quote]a bus, several cameras, an all-in-one printer, a paper clip, a rubber band, and a used piece of chewing gum.[/quote]
McGyver turns 58 today, so in honor of him Gene should have mad a bomb to blow his whole campaign up, it would have been less painful.
I am looking for a cheaper ink, thank you KODAK, now could you just quit redesigning your cameras so they fit on the original printer...
12 of 16 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on January 23, 2008 9:07 AM
"Botox Squad!" Priceless!!!
13 of 16 | Posted by 2funny2b4real | Posted on January 23, 2008 11:16 AM
Great recap! Great screencaps and comments. I love love loved the one about the Kodak exec. and the dark crystal muppet. That was spot on! (You must love them, last weeks with Nely was a hoot too.)
Gene was entertaining and while sometimes random, he certainly made things interesting. His ego is unbeliveable.
14 of 16 | Posted by mrsc | Posted on January 23, 2008 1:12 PM
"Trump says that the execs agreed, and announces Hydra the winner, making this the first time in history a reality show has actually succeeded in using misdirection."
This is a Mark Burnett reality show. Of course it would misdirect you.
15 of 16 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on January 23, 2008 2:53 PM
Fabulous recap Screampillr! You are officially my favorite re-capper!!! The screen cap for Trump's secretary was hysterical...I busted out laughing at that one. Keep up the good work!
16 of 16 | Posted by oliverandharry | Posted on January 23, 2008 4:48 PM