Tonight on Celebrity Apprentice Ivanka Trump is dissed, Clint Black puts himself into another commercial, and Annie Duke tells us the REAL secret to her success. Here we go again!
We begin this episode mid-task with the teams begging their acquaintances to donate money to the ever pathetic Ivanka Trump cause. Piers and Ivanka drop in on team KOTU, which is Clint and Hershel entertaining the models. They are sitting around teasing them about when they'd like to get their hair and makeup done. By the way, Clint and Hershel are also eating, but not one model swallows a morsel. Piers is pretty surprised by the lack of anything resembling work and he compares Clint and Hershel to Stephen Baldwin, saying they look good, but are absolutely pointless. Good call.
Joan Rivers continues her tirade about quitting if Melissa is ever thrown under the bus. She tells Piers and Ivanka that if Melissa is fired fairly, then no problem, but if not, she's walking. Ivanka tells Joan that if she were ever thrown under a bus The Donald would be irritated with her for letting herself get in the way of the bus. Imagine that - a parent who lets his adult child take care of herself.
Next Piers and Ivanka drop in on team Athena where Brande immediately begins dripping with flattery about how much she LOVES Piers and was rooting for him last season. Melissa describes it as Brande flinging her boobs in Piers's face, and I would have to agree. They discuss their team's strategy and the fact that Annie will bring whoever raises the least amount of money into the Boardroom with her. So this challenge is all about money. Period. Piers and Ivanka leave and Melissa immediately scrambles to round up some rich friends to pester.
And now for some drama. Annie receives a phone call from a poker player named Phil Hellmuth wondering why he received a call asking for a donation for Natalie for the Ivanka Trump auction. This sends Annie over the edge. Apparently Natalie got in touch with some other poker player who agreed to put out feelers and round up some money for Natalie to help her beat Annie - then Phil Hellmuth talked. Annie calls this mystery liaison and proceeds to have a screaming fit that reaches all corners of Trump Tower, sending tremors through the building.
Joan enjoys this immensely and she deems that Annie is a bad, bad person. Melissa correctly points out that if Annie had thought of this tactic it would have been BRILLIANT, but since someone else thought of it and used it against her, it's treachery. Next Annie is out to corner Natalie and rip her a couple of new ones. I love Natalie's reaction - she just sits there very calmly nodding. She tells us that even though she didn't end up getting the money from the poker players, she got the exact reaction she was looking for from Annie. Ha! And ladies and gentlemen, Annie Duke has just demonstrated for us the ANTI poker face. Way to check your emotions at the door, Annie. Natalie wins THIS round - at least in the class competition.
Time for the auction! As the models get their hair did, Melissa resumes her former complaining session about not getting enough props for picking out good jewelry. Good grief, someone needs validation. Right about now, I'm noticing that I actually like some of this jewelry, and I'm not even a jewelry person. Annie tells us it's not about the jewelry, it's about the money. So there, Ivanka!
Meanwhile Team KOTU is counting out a ton of cash and telling us that they've pooled all their money and gotten a bidder to spend it on their least expensive piece of jewelry so that they can have a high profit margin. I'm still not sure how this is going to ensure a win, but I'm willing to wait it out and see.
As the auction gets ready to start, The Donald makes a grand entrance with Melania in tow. As always, I am struck by the vast disparity in the looks department between these two. I guess there's the same disparity in finances, so everyone wins... or loses.
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Comments (10)
I think Annie is giving Coach from Survivor a run for his money in the massive ego department. I wonder if Coach gives as good a blowjob as Annie?
Anyone notice Clint's classless exit after the boardroom, not saying anything to Hershel? What a jerk.
One thing this show proves, even if you are a douchebag you can still be a celebrity!
1 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 1:58 AM
My friend once brought me a bracelet made of salt mined in Poland and I ate it. True story. **F'n HILARIOUS**
2 of 10 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on April 25, 2009 2:58 AM
briar--I think that maybe Clint said goodbye to Hershel before he got on the elevator and he was just giving Joan a chance to have private time with Hershel.
3 of 10 | Posted by nyc cookie | Posted on April 25, 2009 7:59 AM
Yeah, Celebrity Apprentice is the only reason I know who Clint Black is as well. He definitely should have been fired, so sick of looking at his smirky face.
4 of 10 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on April 25, 2009 8:06 AM
I agree with you regarding Jesse. Bothering your wife’s friends for money is NEVER a good idea. So, this means Jesse is right AGAIN.
I personally enjoy the Annie/Joan drama and think Annie is handling it the best way she can which is “not to fight with Joan.” Even if Annie were to take Joan on and win some bitch fight (argument) she wouldn’t win in the end. There’s no way Annie would look good after arguing with a 76 year OLD woman. Annie’s best option is simply to describe how she feels in an interview and leave it at that.
I like the last line of this. It was very funny.
“On the way back to the VIP lounge Joan suddenly decides that Annie is not worth all this excitement and she's not going to lower herself anymore. Why now, Joan? Suddenly you're Mrs. Calm? I want another shattered champagne glass! Annie is fuming all over the place, Hitler this, Hitler that, Joan is dead to her, etc. Can these two just go on unpaid suspension?”
You know, you’re really at your funniest when you’re writing about Annie. I hope Annie stays till the end of the show.
5 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:32 AM
"head" chef Annie
LOL
Aren't Annie and Phil Hellmuth brother and sister? Maybe I'm thinking of somebody else, but I know Annie is some other poker player's sister.
I still think that not having a marketing campaign AT ALL is a major mistake, and that would have come down to Jesse as Project Manager. But I'm glad it didn't because I like him. I also like Hershel, though.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
nyc cookie-thanks for your take, I hope that was the case. I was a little surprised to see that because Clint seemed like a polite guy.
7 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
Just took a look at my newest Schwan's catalog last night and both the chicken breast and meatball meals are in the catalog, along with an apple-blueberry crumble which you can order separately. I am not sure if the noodles with the meatballs are gluten-free...they are not marketed as such. Then again, neither were they marketed as Celebrity Apprentice meals!!
8 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:44 AM
Also, maybe I'm wrong about this because I'm not a man, but it seems like it would be harder to give a "bad" BJ than a good BJ...if you have the happy ending and no injuries, isn't that a good one?
9 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:47 AM
Annie is the sister of Howard Lederer, not Helmuth. Howard is much less of a dick than Phil, but Phil came off well in this, I like how he called Annie to see what was up.
That said, Annie's reaction was frightening! If she had thought to call some famous LPGA rival like Annika Sorenstam, or, or, well, Annika, it would have been brilliant.
I don't think this recap did justice to how poorly Clint did as auctioneer, he was terrible!
And as much as Annie needs to brag, how much lower can Melissa's self estemm possibly go? She needs validation on every freaking thing she does! If her mommy weren't there every week to validate her, she would have gone home crying long ago. She is pathetic and I think I may disloke her more than her phony plastic mommy, which is saying something.
Thanks for the recaps, they give me a reason to watch this ego-fest each week!
10 of 10 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on April 27, 2009 10:20 AM