The audience claps and stands up for The Donald for getting them on TV. Annie is naming off all of the high bidders she wrangled to get there, including that guy with the gross beard from Anthrax. Annie plays auctioneer and once she gets warmed up, she manages to embarrass and harangue a lot of high bids out of people. I guess that's the whole point, but MAN she is annoying! She's out in the audience kissing cheeks, kneeling down, sitting on laps, being an all around pain in the butt. But it works; they are cleaning up on every item. Brande comes out in her necklace and doesn't really do anybody any good. Annie gets all the credit for this one, no matter how much time Brande spent staring at herself in the mirror. And Ivanka seems happy, so there's that.
KOTU gets ready to go and they have a couple of disadvantages. First of all Clint Black is auctioneering and he has the personality of a toadstool. Also Natalie picked out really pretty but really tiny jewelry. No one can see anything from the audience. They clearly haven't made any kind of brochure to showcase the jewelry either, so there's nothing but crickets while Clint begs for bids. Joan stands backstage freaking out about how badly Clint is doing, but heaven forbid she step forward and - I don't know - say something funny to get the audience going. Hello? Joan? Project Manager? Always wanting to tell jokes? Get out there and save this! Clint has to skip the first item because no one will bid. This is just getting awkward. Clint tries to joke and it totally doesn't work. Natalie finally tells Joan to bring out the cheap piece that the hired bidder will buy to get things moving. The model comes out in the go-to ring and Clint keeps calling it "earrings." Don't worry, Clint. Easy mistake. Especially when the girl is there holding out her hand to show the ring. Joan finally steps out and corrects him, then starts heckling the model, which gets everyone laughing. She decides to join Clint at the podium and tells the audience that the next model is bulimic, which gets a laugh and generally picks things up for KOTU. We'll see if it's enough or if Joan did too little too late.
In the Boardroom Melissa finally gets congratulated for picking out good jewelry, but it's by The Donald. Annie even tries to take credit by saying she knew exactly what each member of her team would be good at and made assignments accordingly. Oh brother. When asked for a weak link Annie says she has to go on the amount of money raised and Jesse raised the least. Piers jumps in and wants to know why Jesse didn't tap into his famous wife's biz-illionaire friends. Here is Jesse's face:
He says he doesn't like mixing business with pleasure and Piers says that whatever the argument, it's all for charity. I say that whatever the argument, Jesse is classy for not bugging Sandra Bullock's friends.
Next The Donald and Ivanka want to know why Joan wasn't the auctioneer since she would have been the natural choice and Clint was horrible. Joan's like, "I wanted everyone to participate, blah blah blah." Ivanka is also mad about the jewelry choices because they were difficult to see from the stage and it made her look bad to sit there with no one bidding. This one is Natalie's fault. Eventually this becomes a case of KOTU disrespecting and insulting The Donald and Ivanka, so Annie gives a speech about how much homage she paid to The Donald and Ivanka in the way SHE auctioned the jewelry. I thought it was about the MONEY and not the JEWELRY that was important here, Annie. Joan flips out and it's another death match between Joan and Annie. This is boring, can we find out who wins? Oh wait, before we find out, Joan says that, like Annie, Hitler was also nice to people's faces. Wow, now Annie has been compared to Hitler and will therefore forever be the victim.
It turns out that KOTU raised $92,000, mostly through their go-to piece. Athena raised $153,000 dollars, spread out over five pieces. When Piers compares it to British pounds, Jesse snaps, "You're in America!" Oooh, look out, Piers Morgan. So Annie wins and her charity is Refugees International. Athena is excused.
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Comments (10)
I think Annie is giving Coach from Survivor a run for his money in the massive ego department. I wonder if Coach gives as good a blowjob as Annie?
Anyone notice Clint's classless exit after the boardroom, not saying anything to Hershel? What a jerk.
One thing this show proves, even if you are a douchebag you can still be a celebrity!
1 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 1:58 AM
My friend once brought me a bracelet made of salt mined in Poland and I ate it. True story. **F'n HILARIOUS**
2 of 10 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on April 25, 2009 2:58 AM
briar--I think that maybe Clint said goodbye to Hershel before he got on the elevator and he was just giving Joan a chance to have private time with Hershel.
3 of 10 | Posted by nyc cookie | Posted on April 25, 2009 7:59 AM
Yeah, Celebrity Apprentice is the only reason I know who Clint Black is as well. He definitely should have been fired, so sick of looking at his smirky face.
4 of 10 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on April 25, 2009 8:06 AM
I agree with you regarding Jesse. Bothering your wife’s friends for money is NEVER a good idea. So, this means Jesse is right AGAIN.
I personally enjoy the Annie/Joan drama and think Annie is handling it the best way she can which is “not to fight with Joan.” Even if Annie were to take Joan on and win some bitch fight (argument) she wouldn’t win in the end. There’s no way Annie would look good after arguing with a 76 year OLD woman. Annie’s best option is simply to describe how she feels in an interview and leave it at that.
I like the last line of this. It was very funny.
“On the way back to the VIP lounge Joan suddenly decides that Annie is not worth all this excitement and she's not going to lower herself anymore. Why now, Joan? Suddenly you're Mrs. Calm? I want another shattered champagne glass! Annie is fuming all over the place, Hitler this, Hitler that, Joan is dead to her, etc. Can these two just go on unpaid suspension?”
You know, you’re really at your funniest when you’re writing about Annie. I hope Annie stays till the end of the show.
5 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:32 AM
"head" chef Annie
LOL
Aren't Annie and Phil Hellmuth brother and sister? Maybe I'm thinking of somebody else, but I know Annie is some other poker player's sister.
I still think that not having a marketing campaign AT ALL is a major mistake, and that would have come down to Jesse as Project Manager. But I'm glad it didn't because I like him. I also like Hershel, though.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
nyc cookie-thanks for your take, I hope that was the case. I was a little surprised to see that because Clint seemed like a polite guy.
7 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
Just took a look at my newest Schwan's catalog last night and both the chicken breast and meatball meals are in the catalog, along with an apple-blueberry crumble which you can order separately. I am not sure if the noodles with the meatballs are gluten-free...they are not marketed as such. Then again, neither were they marketed as Celebrity Apprentice meals!!
8 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:44 AM
Also, maybe I'm wrong about this because I'm not a man, but it seems like it would be harder to give a "bad" BJ than a good BJ...if you have the happy ending and no injuries, isn't that a good one?
9 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:47 AM
Annie is the sister of Howard Lederer, not Helmuth. Howard is much less of a dick than Phil, but Phil came off well in this, I like how he called Annie to see what was up.
That said, Annie's reaction was frightening! If she had thought to call some famous LPGA rival like Annika Sorenstam, or, or, well, Annika, it would have been brilliant.
I don't think this recap did justice to how poorly Clint did as auctioneer, he was terrible!
And as much as Annie needs to brag, how much lower can Melissa's self estemm possibly go? She needs validation on every freaking thing she does! If her mommy weren't there every week to validate her, she would have gone home crying long ago. She is pathetic and I think I may disloke her more than her phony plastic mommy, which is saying something.
Thanks for the recaps, they give me a reason to watch this ego-fest each week!
10 of 10 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on April 27, 2009 10:20 AM