Now for the drilling. The Donald wants to know why Joan didn't pick the jewelry since she is a jewelry designer. Joan says that she thought Natalie would do a good job picking jewelry since she is young and stylish (and not a lesbian as she pointed out last week). Ivanka keeps pointing out that the pieces Natalie picked are beautiful, just absolutely beautiful, but they just couldn't be seen from the stage. Get over yourself, Ivanka. This was a jewelry auction, was it not? Why didn't you put everything under a microscope instead of parading it around on a raised platform? Joan can't bear to recommend anyone to be fired. Boo hoo, we're such a good team. How can we tell anyone goodbye? The Donald determines that it all comes down to jewelry selection, and plus Natalie didn't raise any money, so she's fired. Cue Joan's water works. I wonder how often Natalie wears ringlets in real life. She says that Donald Trump was her first boss and this is her first firing.
On the way back to the VIP lounge Joan suddenly decides that Annie is not worth all this excitement and she's not going to lower herself anymore. Why now, Joan? Suddenly you're Mrs. Calm? I want another shattered champagne glass! Annie is fuming all over the place, Hitler this, Hitler that, Joan is dead to her, etc. Can these two just go on unpaid suspension?
In between tasks, we stop off at the Corner Bakery for Annie to hand over her check to Refugees International. Warm fuzzy feelings all around.
Next the celebrities file into The Donald's obnoxiously decorated dining room, which includes a table made of solid gold, gold leaf wallpaper, chairs made of gold bars, and gold framed mirrors everywhere so The Donald can check his hair. The theme of this room? "I'm rich." The Donald tells everyone that he loves food and this next challenge will involve Schwann's, one of the leading frozen food companies. Take it away, Schwann's man!
Today's task is for each team to create a meal for the Schwann's Live Smart brand, which is "healthy" frozen food. They have to also create a marketing campaign to go along with the meal. They will be judged on taste, originality and the marketing campaign. Ivanka and the guy from CNBC Squawk Box will be checking up on the teams today. Jesse will be Project Manager for Athena and Hershel will be Project Manager for KOTU. This is because Joan doesn't want Clint to be the Project Manager and Clint doesn't want Joan to be the Project Manager. Each Project Manager admits that this week he will be mainly playing referee.
Two Schwann's guys sit down with KOTU to go over how the Schwann's process works. See, they make food. Then they bring the food to the customers. It's a home delivery operation, and in case you didn't know, healthy food is all the rage right now. That's why I'm eating a donut. They want something that TASTES GOOD, dang it! The best marketing campaign in the world won't make up for yucky food. Oh really? How do they explain McDonalds? The Schwann's guys also sit down with Athena and tell them that this is about calories, fat and sodium. People want to think that their frozen chemicals are nutritious, so if we can take out some sodium and sub in some fabricated molecules, everyone wins!
Annie discovers that Italian Style Meatballs are Schwann's number two best seller, but there is no "healthy" version of that, so she wants to do Italian Style Turkey Meatballs. That actually sounds delicious. She's like, "Most turkey meatballs are dry, but mine are moist and fabulous! End of story." As the team tries to brainstorm additional ideas, Annie keeps yammering on about meatballs, meatballs, meatballs. Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. Also, they can use gluten-free pasta because that is also a current trend. Yes Annie, if you have Celiac disease. Is that also a hot new fad? Jesse finally deems that three dishes will be prepared and the team will select their favorite, so shut it, Annie. Annie and Brande, our new favorite couple, will be the ones to prepare the dishes while Jesse works on a marketing campaign. Melissa will be... staying out of everyone's way. Apparently she hasn't been whipping up savory healthy dishes for the last 15 YEARS!
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Comments (10)
I think Annie is giving Coach from Survivor a run for his money in the massive ego department. I wonder if Coach gives as good a blowjob as Annie?
Anyone notice Clint's classless exit after the boardroom, not saying anything to Hershel? What a jerk.
One thing this show proves, even if you are a douchebag you can still be a celebrity!
1 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 1:58 AM
My friend once brought me a bracelet made of salt mined in Poland and I ate it. True story. **F'n HILARIOUS**
2 of 10 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on April 25, 2009 2:58 AM
briar--I think that maybe Clint said goodbye to Hershel before he got on the elevator and he was just giving Joan a chance to have private time with Hershel.
3 of 10 | Posted by nyc cookie | Posted on April 25, 2009 7:59 AM
Yeah, Celebrity Apprentice is the only reason I know who Clint Black is as well. He definitely should have been fired, so sick of looking at his smirky face.
4 of 10 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on April 25, 2009 8:06 AM
I agree with you regarding Jesse. Bothering your wife’s friends for money is NEVER a good idea. So, this means Jesse is right AGAIN.
I personally enjoy the Annie/Joan drama and think Annie is handling it the best way she can which is “not to fight with Joan.” Even if Annie were to take Joan on and win some bitch fight (argument) she wouldn’t win in the end. There’s no way Annie would look good after arguing with a 76 year OLD woman. Annie’s best option is simply to describe how she feels in an interview and leave it at that.
I like the last line of this. It was very funny.
“On the way back to the VIP lounge Joan suddenly decides that Annie is not worth all this excitement and she's not going to lower herself anymore. Why now, Joan? Suddenly you're Mrs. Calm? I want another shattered champagne glass! Annie is fuming all over the place, Hitler this, Hitler that, Joan is dead to her, etc. Can these two just go on unpaid suspension?”
You know, you’re really at your funniest when you’re writing about Annie. I hope Annie stays till the end of the show.
5 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:32 AM
"head" chef Annie
LOL
Aren't Annie and Phil Hellmuth brother and sister? Maybe I'm thinking of somebody else, but I know Annie is some other poker player's sister.
I still think that not having a marketing campaign AT ALL is a major mistake, and that would have come down to Jesse as Project Manager. But I'm glad it didn't because I like him. I also like Hershel, though.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
nyc cookie-thanks for your take, I hope that was the case. I was a little surprised to see that because Clint seemed like a polite guy.
7 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
Just took a look at my newest Schwan's catalog last night and both the chicken breast and meatball meals are in the catalog, along with an apple-blueberry crumble which you can order separately. I am not sure if the noodles with the meatballs are gluten-free...they are not marketed as such. Then again, neither were they marketed as Celebrity Apprentice meals!!
8 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:44 AM
Also, maybe I'm wrong about this because I'm not a man, but it seems like it would be harder to give a "bad" BJ than a good BJ...if you have the happy ending and no injuries, isn't that a good one?
9 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:47 AM
Annie is the sister of Howard Lederer, not Helmuth. Howard is much less of a dick than Phil, but Phil came off well in this, I like how he called Annie to see what was up.
That said, Annie's reaction was frightening! If she had thought to call some famous LPGA rival like Annika Sorenstam, or, or, well, Annika, it would have been brilliant.
I don't think this recap did justice to how poorly Clint did as auctioneer, he was terrible!
And as much as Annie needs to brag, how much lower can Melissa's self estemm possibly go? She needs validation on every freaking thing she does! If her mommy weren't there every week to validate her, she would have gone home crying long ago. She is pathetic and I think I may disloke her more than her phony plastic mommy, which is saying something.
Thanks for the recaps, they give me a reason to watch this ego-fest each week!
10 of 10 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on April 27, 2009 10:20 AM