The Schwann's guys call the dessert parfait "interesting," which can't be good. Behind KOTU's backs, the Schwann's guys say that the chicken had a great flavor, but the dessert is confusing. They'd have to separately package the yogurt, the berries and the granola, which is just too much.
Athena is up next and they present their Triple Play Turkey Meatballs and Gluten-Free Pasta with an apple-berry crisp dessert. Jesse talks about the trendiness of gluten-free pasta and the fact that instead of bread crumbs, the meatballs are made with minced vegetables so that children are unknowingly receiving nutrients, which the Schwann's guys love. Jesse's tagline is: "At Schwann's we take the hassle out of healthy." Behind their backs the Schwann's guys say they love everything, but there was no marketing campaign.

It's time for the Boardroom! The Donald asks Hershel how his team did and Hershel reports that Joan was very helpful and that Clint likes to argue. Clint says that he was never a fan of the chicken idea because Schwann's already has tons of chicken meals. He also says that Hershel wouldn't take his suggestions. As for Athena, Annie thinks that Jesse wasn't open to suggestions. Hmm, that's the pot calling the kettle black. The Donald says that he can't figure Jesse out because he seems so laid back and uninteresting, so how did he get Sandra Bullock to marry him? Of course, with the Donald it always comes back to the hot girl. They determine that he must be good in bed and Jesse just sits there smiling.
It turns out that the Schwann's guys really liked both meals, which is the first time both teams have done well, but ultimately they picked Athena as the winner, even though they had no marketing campaign. That's interesting. I think the parfait just blew it for KOTU. So Jesse gets 20 thousand dollars for his charity, the Long Beach Educational Fund. Hooray. Now off to the VIP lounge. Joan is spitting daggers as Annie chirps, "I told you the gluten-free would work!" Ugh.
The Donald asks Clint what went wrong and Clint says they chose the wrong food. They shouldn't have done chicken when Schwann's already has lots of chicken options. When asked what he would have done instead, Clint has no answer. Hershel declares that he doesn't eat meat. Really? So The Donald wants to know why he was the project manager if he doesn't even eat meat. Anyway, Hershel tells on Clint for putting himself in the commercial and The Donald says, "Well he's a star." Then Hershel says that none of them are stars in this game, they are there to work. Excellent point, Hershel Walker. I like it. They go back and forth for a while about whether or not Clint is an arguer (seriously?) and Joan starts crying again. The Donald determines that this is ultimately the responsibility of the Project Manager, so Hershel is fired. In his Cab Ride of Defeat Hershel tells us that he thinks Clint should have been fired, but he had a great time. Laters!
And that's it. So what do you think? Are you rushing out to buy Ivanka Trump jewelry to support her pampered butt? Which of the dinners would you have picked? Have you had enough of the Joan/Annie feud?
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
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Comments (10)
I think Annie is giving Coach from Survivor a run for his money in the massive ego department. I wonder if Coach gives as good a blowjob as Annie?
Anyone notice Clint's classless exit after the boardroom, not saying anything to Hershel? What a jerk.
One thing this show proves, even if you are a douchebag you can still be a celebrity!
1 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 1:58 AM
My friend once brought me a bracelet made of salt mined in Poland and I ate it. True story. **F'n HILARIOUS**
2 of 10 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on April 25, 2009 2:58 AM
briar--I think that maybe Clint said goodbye to Hershel before he got on the elevator and he was just giving Joan a chance to have private time with Hershel.
3 of 10 | Posted by nyc cookie | Posted on April 25, 2009 7:59 AM
Yeah, Celebrity Apprentice is the only reason I know who Clint Black is as well. He definitely should have been fired, so sick of looking at his smirky face.
4 of 10 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on April 25, 2009 8:06 AM
I agree with you regarding Jesse. Bothering your wife’s friends for money is NEVER a good idea. So, this means Jesse is right AGAIN.
I personally enjoy the Annie/Joan drama and think Annie is handling it the best way she can which is “not to fight with Joan.” Even if Annie were to take Joan on and win some bitch fight (argument) she wouldn’t win in the end. There’s no way Annie would look good after arguing with a 76 year OLD woman. Annie’s best option is simply to describe how she feels in an interview and leave it at that.
I like the last line of this. It was very funny.
“On the way back to the VIP lounge Joan suddenly decides that Annie is not worth all this excitement and she's not going to lower herself anymore. Why now, Joan? Suddenly you're Mrs. Calm? I want another shattered champagne glass! Annie is fuming all over the place, Hitler this, Hitler that, Joan is dead to her, etc. Can these two just go on unpaid suspension?”
You know, you’re really at your funniest when you’re writing about Annie. I hope Annie stays till the end of the show.
5 of 10 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:32 AM
"head" chef Annie
LOL
Aren't Annie and Phil Hellmuth brother and sister? Maybe I'm thinking of somebody else, but I know Annie is some other poker player's sister.
I still think that not having a marketing campaign AT ALL is a major mistake, and that would have come down to Jesse as Project Manager. But I'm glad it didn't because I like him. I also like Hershel, though.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
nyc cookie-thanks for your take, I hope that was the case. I was a little surprised to see that because Clint seemed like a polite guy.
7 of 10 | Posted by briar | Posted on April 25, 2009 11:59 AM
Just took a look at my newest Schwan's catalog last night and both the chicken breast and meatball meals are in the catalog, along with an apple-blueberry crumble which you can order separately. I am not sure if the noodles with the meatballs are gluten-free...they are not marketed as such. Then again, neither were they marketed as Celebrity Apprentice meals!!
8 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:44 AM
Also, maybe I'm wrong about this because I'm not a man, but it seems like it would be harder to give a "bad" BJ than a good BJ...if you have the happy ending and no injuries, isn't that a good one?
9 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on April 27, 2009 4:47 AM
Annie is the sister of Howard Lederer, not Helmuth. Howard is much less of a dick than Phil, but Phil came off well in this, I like how he called Annie to see what was up.
That said, Annie's reaction was frightening! If she had thought to call some famous LPGA rival like Annika Sorenstam, or, or, well, Annika, it would have been brilliant.
I don't think this recap did justice to how poorly Clint did as auctioneer, he was terrible!
And as much as Annie needs to brag, how much lower can Melissa's self estemm possibly go? She needs validation on every freaking thing she does! If her mommy weren't there every week to validate her, she would have gone home crying long ago. She is pathetic and I think I may disloke her more than her phony plastic mommy, which is saying something.
Thanks for the recaps, they give me a reason to watch this ego-fest each week!
10 of 10 | Posted by swimbikerun | Posted on April 27, 2009 10:20 AM