Mitch is blushing because he expected boobs to pop out in an acrobatic aerial feat, not this cop-out joke of an act. He admits he's speechless. Louie proclaims it the biggest pack of poo he's ever seen, but commends her for delivering it with pizzazz and real style - he had no idea if she was going to sling the dog or use it as a clutch, or kill it. Basically, it was a car wreck, and because Americans love to rubberneck around a massive pile-up on the freeway and clog up the road by creating more traffic in LA while texting their friends about the accident, they're totally going to vote for her. Rachel yammers a bit, as Louie reassures her, "You made the witch on the end smile, so believe me! It was entertaining!" Rawr, the claws are OUT. I want to know if Aurelia and Louie have slap fights during commercial breaks, one where Aurelia busts out the vulgar street French and Louie devolves into Cockney like Eliza Doolittle.
Anyhoo, the scores:
The act was clearly inspired by someone in Hell.
Unfortunately, Louie decides to give her an extra point for sheer entertainment, and Rachel's average is 6.3. Now would be the perfect time to slip me a roofie colada. I don't know who's going home next week, and I don't know if I have the strength to go on. Can Wee Man or Dionne just win already?
I'll see you next week as I take on Celebrity Circus while in our nation's Capitol, which rivals the craziness of rabid Chihuahuas masquerading as bulls. Mwa!
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Comments (6)
While I make you no promises for the future, I did actually watch this one episode.
(Your recap was a LOT more entertaining.)
1 of 6 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 7, 2008 3:25 PM
OMG!!! so much responsibility!!! MUST READ NOW!!!
but hey Tvo--it's not you, it's the show, they're just not that into it!
HEART
2 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:28 PM
and it's good to know you know I'm a fan of you, whatever you're recapping!!!
Okay, the fried food on a stick montage, was it me, or was the Jurrassic Dog just wrong, looked like a giant phallus and watching him take a bite, wrong-wrong-wrong, but hey, never have I been to a fair with so many choices!!!!
Anyhoo, let me guess, Rachel was leaving and didn't prepare an act, so she did the dogs, and they gussied it up to make it like a plus, right!?
Pretty impressed with wee man on this one, and hella that was some kind of strange erotic looking, I'm sure that trainer voluteered his body to action figure makers everywhere!!!
I caught the finale of one of those singing offices, erk, pretty lame, tho I wonder if the lead up was any better--guess that fat one is a big reality ho!!!
As you said last time, when did they shoot this, and how do they explain the time lapses of 8 weeks to learn something but they do it a week later? Somethin's fishy, and it ain't on a stick!!!
Thanks for taking time from your vaca and giving us some glee, I'm sure you've got more readers than commenters--is that a word!!!!
3 of 6 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 7, 2008 5:58 PM
I'm sorry, I fell into a diabetic coma after watching my beloved Paula eat a burger with two Krispy Kreme doughnuts as the buns.
Off to read. . .
4 of 6 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:36 PM
The show still sucks. Your recaps still rock.
Lose-win for all.
5 of 6 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on July 7, 2008 9:46 PM
Seriously loved the lolcat pics that accompanied this hilarious, and vastly superior to the source material, recap. Looking forward to more installments of this slow-motion train wreck!
6 of 6 | Posted by trainedgorilla | Posted on July 8, 2008 11:59 AM