Pudgy then declares the next safe celebrity is...Wee Man. And promptly reminds us that Wee Man got the worst scores of the entire competition in Week 2. However, he overcame adversity and got perfect 10's last week. I'm still calling this for Dionne.
Last week, as you may recall, Wee Man supported the weight of his partner, who was at least ten times larger than he is. I was not the only one shocked and awed by the success of the sensual routine. In fact, I'd say some audience members were positively scarred for life by the experience.
Some became men. Others grew Sharpie molestaches.
This week, the judges have selected the Flying Straps for Wee Man. Wee Man enjoys the act, so he's in it to win it. He's also pairing up with two buff guys to do a trio strap act. Dirty!
Wee Man's audition for The Dark Knight didn't go as well as planned.
Sebastian has decided to incorporate a skateboard into the routine. I grew up as one of the only girls skating around hordes of southern California boys. This is pretty exciting. Wee Man's montage has him taking Seb and his other partner to what I assume is his personal skate park. Hmm, strapping a skateboard onto your circus partners = bad idea before the week's performance. I'm just saying.
In the world of cliché reality tv lingo, Wee Man chooses "The cards are on the table, my chips are in, this is the hand that counts."
Between the 80's poppy synth song and the two partners in cummerbunds and no shirts, it's like Chippendales goes to the Circus! Aw. There's some inverted poses, and some fun spins.
But then my jaw drops, because what ensues is perhaps totally inappropriate for television. I also am just highly attuned in general to liability and "what to do when things go terribly, terribly wrong." You know, accidental death. I'm a former sorority president, after all! (Just kidding. My sorority always looked out for its members and was super-tame and respectful towards its members. But I can't say the same about other chapters.)
Probably not the best scene to catch while channel-surfing.
Phew. Well that's over.
Welcome back to another episode of Aerial Beefcake!
For a split second, I imagine Chris Farley (rest his soul) flipping around with the guys in his SNL Chippendales skit outfit. I can't help it. The two partners grab hold of Wee Man's straps and they all go spinning together. Where's Patrick Swayze when you need him?
Anyways, Aurelia starts to rip Wee Man a new asshole and re-establish herself as the foremost French man-hater in the world by calling his performance, "ehm, original, eh?"
The exhilaration immediately drains out of his face. Oh, well, it's not that bad. She just wanted to see more skateboard.
"Congratulations on not having cancer!"
Mitch is all, I've watched you grow...not. As a performer, I mean. You were in the zone tonight, I love the gymnastic moves - iron cross, handstand, dislocate on rims! Um.
Maybe a teensy bit.
Louie doesn't like the skateboard flub mid-routine. Alas. "But you have grown...(I don't mean in inches, darling), but you have grown!" Way to always go for the obvious, Louie.
And now, I give you NBC's attempt at creating suspense on this show.
Because if all the contestant scores are the same, we won't be able to predict who's going home immediately and votes may actually matter? GENIUS.
And now, because there's still half an hour left, and only one celebrity performer left, we get to fill the time with an exhibition of all the pros! There's nothing to say except that they deserve to be paid more for doing this. And that half of it looks strangely religious, evoking the crucifixion and Fall of Man and all sorts of allegories. Is this a ploy to get me to go to church? It's not working. I now just want to drink. It's 6 am. And I don't even like the taste of booze. Let's dance with the devil. Hooray, reverse psychology.
Jesus Christ! Superstar!
Yeah, it's still not moving me to join the circus. Just moving my bowels. Oh, and Rachel gets eliminated (duh), so ASJ is moving on to the final three.
We get a flashback of ASJ's showdown with Aurelia last week. He was against creaming his head against the pavement and she didn't think his Wheel of Death was life-threatening enough. She's all for Nader and he's an Obamamaniac. The usual. Maybe they're sleeping together and are trying to hide the relationship with some fake tension. I love entirely unfounded crazy theories, don't you?
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Comments (3)
Funny recap... but the show must have been a real snoozer!
I like that you don't care about those silly records... either.
1 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 16, 2008 8:37 AM
Oh, fire@will: I'm not sure what I'd do without you and the lovely folks who take the time to write in. This show is ending TONIGHT -- Hallelujah -- so we'll move on to greener grass soon. I hope! What have you been up to? *Hugs*
2 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on July 16, 2008 9:54 AM
Seems like you gasm cappers are always traveling . . . Good to hear of your girl crush on Dionne, and who could blame ya, I don't remember if she could actually act, but it would be nice to see more of her on some show, or a Clueless sequel where their kids are the ones strutting with the lingo and they are out of touch with the younger generation! Well, I didn't say I was gonna write it . . .
Wonder how the ratings were on this show, and also, how many votes they actually get per epi . . . I'd say not a lot based on the interest here, but what do I know.
Can I also say, I think Neilson ratings are Bullshit--did you know you have to be a household with Two adults and Two children, then you have do logs or something, or click in when it's you . . . it's totally redonk--is that how they are getting the youth count, I'm sorry, are not the millions of kids in college counting here--it's like when CD's went to sound scan instead of estimates, and suddenly the charts were all over the place, can't wait till DVR's are counted and the ratings systems are stripped bare and spanked till red hand prints are semi permanently tattooed on their derrieres!!!! Harrrrummmphhhh!!!
Well, I'm so in suspense as to who's gonna win this puppy, and I also say, F that, I'd so sooner dance with the c-list than hang and spin and ankle grab (okay, maybe not the last one) Toooo hard, I say!
So Tvo, thanks for the recap and the soapbox, and what's going to be your next show?
HEART
3 of 3 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 16, 2008 1:25 PM