Well, if Aurelia and ASJ are sleeping together, she's going to be pissy this week since he has to take Basic Instinct and make it even sexier with his partner. French director Philippe drones on a bit about romance and the magic of the act and how crucial it is to turn it on during the performance. You're really convincing me Philippe.
"In our country, nozeeng says 'romance', eh, like le Eiffel Tower, no?"
So far, ASJ has been the only one who's mentioned that he wants the Wheel of Death trophy. Just give it to the guy; everyone else would just toss it or give it to their personal assistant.
He's back on the flying silks with a lady friend. The sky blue chiffon Aladdin pants don't exactly scream "sensual seduction." More like "On Clearance at JC Penney next to floral slippers" and vaguely reminiscent of MC Hammer's clothing if it were designed by Laura Ashley. Although his female partner dances around a lot more around him, ASJ's really improved and looks more relaxed overall. Plus, he makes a really compelling argument for why you should vote for him.
Also, there's an aerial orgy going on. No big deal.
They end with a midair embrace/twirl/straddle that's really, really steamy (in my opinion, anyway). It mostly makes me want to spoon someone. The soccer moms in the crowd are totally fanning themselves and wishing menopause hadn't come so soon. Even the kiddies sense something's up.
"Mommy, is this where babies come from?"
Pudgy is totally impressed by the scorching hotness infused into the act. And a wee bit jealous, from the looks of things.
"Dude, I want to be you."
Aurelia giggles like a schoolgirl while ASJ humbly says he's doing it for his little girl and his fans. Milk that vote, ASJ. Our Frenchie trapeze artist is grinning like the Cheshire Cat and beams that he surprised her, eh?
"And zees is how I would squeeze your leetle brioche buns! Mon dieu!"
Mitch agrees that it was a complete performance, that he had no idea ASJ had grace inside of him, and that he is the man to beat tonight.
Pudgy looks at Louie and observes that his face is just not happy. Louie says that it's a final and that they were looking for perfection and growth from the beginning, quite morosely. AND THEN FLIPS THE FUCK OUT AND DOES A BACKFLIP AND JIBBER JABBERS AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH AUGH OMG! JAZZ HANDS! BACKFLIP!
Yeah. I have no idea what that funny man is yelling, but here's how it went down visually. Pretend that I made you a flipbook out of quality cardstock, okay?
I founds it, my diva dust!
He was too damn fast with the backflip for me to catch it. Life is so hard.
Zee scores:
Ten points for the man with only one nipple!
But it's not over. We're about to watch a world record get broken. A Russian will attempt to juggle five clubs to break the record of 20 360 degree spins under one minute. So he juggles the five clubs and he has to spin his body around and continue juggling.
The weirdest fucking episode of 24 ever.
He breaks the record and gets to 21 spins. Impressive but I am beyond the point of caring. I don't care if people solve Rubix Cubes in under 30 seconds or if Lassie rescues Timmy out of the well. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel nothing. I have no heart left. Thanks, Celebrity Circus. I'm officially dead inside.
« Last Comic Standing: Semifinals, Part the Second | Main | Big Brother: What Would Nixon Do? »
Comments (3)
Funny recap... but the show must have been a real snoozer!
I like that you don't care about those silly records... either.
1 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 16, 2008 8:37 AM
Oh, fire@will: I'm not sure what I'd do without you and the lovely folks who take the time to write in. This show is ending TONIGHT -- Hallelujah -- so we'll move on to greener grass soon. I hope! What have you been up to? *Hugs*
2 of 3 | Posted by T.Vo | Posted on July 16, 2008 9:54 AM
Seems like you gasm cappers are always traveling . . . Good to hear of your girl crush on Dionne, and who could blame ya, I don't remember if she could actually act, but it would be nice to see more of her on some show, or a Clueless sequel where their kids are the ones strutting with the lingo and they are out of touch with the younger generation! Well, I didn't say I was gonna write it . . .
Wonder how the ratings were on this show, and also, how many votes they actually get per epi . . . I'd say not a lot based on the interest here, but what do I know.
Can I also say, I think Neilson ratings are Bullshit--did you know you have to be a household with Two adults and Two children, then you have do logs or something, or click in when it's you . . . it's totally redonk--is that how they are getting the youth count, I'm sorry, are not the millions of kids in college counting here--it's like when CD's went to sound scan instead of estimates, and suddenly the charts were all over the place, can't wait till DVR's are counted and the ratings systems are stripped bare and spanked till red hand prints are semi permanently tattooed on their derrieres!!!! Harrrrummmphhhh!!!
Well, I'm so in suspense as to who's gonna win this puppy, and I also say, F that, I'd so sooner dance with the c-list than hang and spin and ankle grab (okay, maybe not the last one) Toooo hard, I say!
So Tvo, thanks for the recap and the soapbox, and what's going to be your next show?
HEART
3 of 3 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 16, 2008 1:25 PM