I don't know what it is about Celebrity Rehab, but it just makes me want to drink. It may be so I can help out my celebrity counterparts who are unable to take a swig of sweet sweet alcohol, or maybe it's just a stressful show to watch. No I don't have a problem!!!
There's a "new male" coming today! Fingers crossed!
Remember last week? Daniel and Jeff were having their discussion when Daniel is basically telling Jeff off, and then suddenly Jeff flips. He says he didn't bring drugs in. Ah, denial. Well, let's pick that shit back up. And more importantly, let's see some more withdrawal.
Dr. Drew tells us that day 4 is when people come out of the detox fog, and we basically see a replay of what we saw last week between Jeff and Daniel. I know VH1 enjoys showing us what we've seen already (like replaying the last 30 seconds before a commercial break after that commercial break as well), but I refuse to comment further until new material. So let's wait together...
Good time filler VH1. Ok, finally, Jeff's voice rises to Daniel, he stands up, and "To Be Continued. Damnit!
Ok, not really, but it would have been basically the same ending I had last week also. So Jeff is pissed off. And he's totally in the right here. You know why? Because that cocaine wasn't on him. It was in the pants he was wearing!!! Two entirely different things. Man, what a hilarious misunderstanding. Everyone then hugs and they begin singing Amazing Grace and I forget what show I'm watching because of all the coke I did to prepare for this week.
I'm not a coke head. My nose is.
Ok, no coke, I'm just drinking a little with my friend Captain Morgan. But I digress. Kenicky says that he finished all of his shit before he came in because he knew he wouldn't be able to do any drugs. So Daniel somehow ends up "apologizing" which is basically just getting Jeff to shut up I think.
Some of the inmates, er, celebrities are eating lunch together, and Daniel is bewildered that Jeff is not getting the point of rehab. I hope for more Jeff and Daniel confrontations, because they're pretty entertaining. I'm with Daniel here though, I'm mystified myself that Conaway is so immature about the whole thing. He can't even function on his own. Is that a good way to live? I mean, yeah, he's living the dream, not having to wipe his own ass. But are mind-altering drugs the perfect course to get there? Short answer, yes; long answer, absofuckinglutely.
Drew and Shelly (his head resident tech whose name I missed last week) have a little powwow about Vikki, Jeff's girlfriend, and the concerns they have about her coming to see him. Shelly brings her in for a sit-down, as Drew voiceovers that Vikki is a codependent partner, and she hates seeing Jeff in pain, so she may slip him a roofie. Or an oxycontin. More likely an oxy. So Shelly says, listen bitch, he's in pain and we're watching you, so don't give him anthing. Vikki is pretty horrified when she hears Jeff screaming in the background, which Shelly could care less about. And I'm with her. When did this become the Jeff Conaway detox hour? Vikki says she always brings Jeffie's (she probably calls him that, but did not here) pills with her, so they just leave her purse in the other room, and Shelly also gives Vikki a patdown.
No, you're not just wasted. There is in fact a camera there.
So, Vikki is dating Kenicky. I can't accurately describe her. She's much younger, and she also doesn't look entirely stable. Oh, also she looks like a whore. Can't forget that. She asks Jeff if he wants to go, and he says he can do it, and finally, I develop a little bit of support. Despite all his bitching and literal moaning, he's willing to stick it out. He thinks they'll let him do it on his terms, which is semi-comical, but, at least he's willing to not take the easiest way out.
Later Shelly sits most of the residents down, and she says they've got another male coming in. More opportunities for sexual harassment from Mary. She's got that glisten in her eye that says "I may rape someone very soon." And I hope it comes to fruition, because that would be awesome.
« Project Runway: Every Dog Has Its Day (and I'm Not Referring to Nina) | | My Fair Brady: The Threat of Procreation »
Comments (17)
I love your recaps.
This show is like a train wreck - you just can't help but watch.
Did anyone think it odd that Vickie didn't want to come and get Jeff when he was on the phone with her? I kept thinking "she doesn't want to leave home because she's "busy" with someone else"
1 of 17 | Posted by MorningGlory | Posted on January 25, 2008 5:44 PM
Another excellent recap, Tom. The only improvement I could suggest is a screencap of Dr. Drew in his black t-shirt. He's yummy.
I hope Jeff leaves, I want to see more of the other people's drama. I'm sure their puke is just as entertaining.
2 of 17 | Posted by angiemarie | Posted on January 25, 2008 8:23 PM
Great recap Tom, loved the screencaps. I agree with Angie though - more Drew caps, less Jeff.
I'm so over Jeff. As much as I know he needs to be there more than anyone else - I just think he's a lost cause. Is that totally horrible of me?
3 of 17 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on January 26, 2008 10:26 AM
I think Vicki is creepy looking...and if she has really convinced a doctor that she needs Norco for PMS...well I hate to point this out but the cramps don't start until the actual MS, not the pre- part.
4 of 17 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on January 26, 2008 11:01 AM
Actually three of women, not two, have been in porn. Mary, Jaimee, and Joanie.
5 of 17 | Posted by putigger | Posted on January 26, 2008 1:51 PM
I'm waiting to see how Jaimee reacts without pot. She seem's pretty calm now. I don't see any cravings yet. I guess with pot it takes longer.
6 of 17 | Posted by likris | Posted on January 26, 2008 2:09 PM
Actually Jessica is in a porn movie that was just released when American Idol started. So yeah 4 of them were in a porn.
7 of 17 | Posted by italprincess3983 | Posted on January 26, 2008 2:47 PM
See, kids? Don't do drugs. They lead to doing porn. This public service announcement brought to you by the letter X and the number 69. ;-)
I loved when everyone started pointing out that Jeff had no problem standing up when he was mad and not thinking about his act, but once he was calm he could barely move. I've always thought that many of his actions seemed like an act. I think it was in the episode before this one, when he was talking about smashing the mirror. To me that sounded like "acting" not like the way someone would really say something like that. Maybe it's just me. I mean clearly the guy is a train wreck, but I think that is now his role to play too.
8 of 17 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on January 26, 2008 7:32 PM
Gotta love Jeffy...
nothing like a daddy-diva tantrum from a junkie has-been.
Can someone tell Kinickie that it's 2008, not 1978?
9 of 17 | Posted by you you you | Posted on January 26, 2008 9:24 PM
There are no withdrawal signs from smoking pot.If anything she'll end up loosing weight .Jeffs only problem is that he has to be the center of attention.As far as Vicki goes she needs to be put into rehab herself if she thinks Norco will take away the pms systoms.As far as the only one that has any type of brains at all is David. Its not my intention to piss anyone off I'm just speaking the truth.
Gina
10 of 17 | Posted by LEGINNIE69 | Posted on January 27, 2008 9:57 AM
Todays recaps are Jaimee's a pothead.Jeffs is nothing but a damn drunk and drug attick who also has a drug pushing gf.David is the only one who has any since at all.
Gina U.
11 of 17 | Posted by LEGINNIE69 | Posted on January 27, 2008 10:04 AM
There are alot more people in rehab like Jeff than there are like the other ones.....
..... and withdrawals from pot.... please don't make me laff!!!
Love ya TOM...
12 of 17 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on January 27, 2008 10:41 AM
Tom, I am with the girls ... either you post sexy pictures of Dr. Drew... or you ost Sexy pictures of yourself.
You get the picture?
I don't want to see any more of Jeff unless he is in a jacked up 4 wheel drive truck running over his girl fiend.
(r left out on purpose)
The new guy... how easy have our commenters been on this fine piece of insane work... can I get a witness that he should now be brought up on charges of interferring with a criminal investigation.. ???
If I was his girl when I woke up in jail from his insane decision to place my ass behind the wheel of a criminal accident I would have shot his ass.
love you all!!!!!!!!
13 of 17 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on January 27, 2008 2:46 PM
giffordsaz ... I was wondering the SAME thing, I couldn't quite catch the end of his story, but he said something about a lawyer being involved. I bet that will be a lovely story to laugh over with the grandkids, "well, kids, this one time, when I thought g'ma was dead ... " ha ha
I did think it was HILARIOUS that all the other residents just stood around while Jeff & his gf argued. Wow, visitors AND a show!
Great recap!
14 of 17 | Posted by chelle | Posted on January 28, 2008 3:30 PM
The first time I saw this show I was sitting at my table figuring out my bills. I began to wonder just how much Grease and Taxi money had gone right up Jeff's nose/veins/throat and that's when I decided I want to be Shelley's understudy for ONE day. I'd shake those crybaby beyotches until their mushy teeth rattled. At least Jeff and Ricco, Spawn of the Devvil. (extra "V" on purpose.)
Gotta agree with snootchy bootches. Jeff is puttin' on a show, folks. He becomes lucid when it suits him. Did you hear how eloquent he gets when he's pissed? Oh, puhleeeeze. He annoys the livin' shit outta me and the "die already" comment made by a fan of last week's recap wasn't too far off the mark.
How sad is Ricco's GF for showing up at rehab??? How exactly does one forgive that one? Girl, you crazy. Oh, and when he didn't raise his hand when they asked if children were affected by their addictions. HELLO? CFS???
MORE screencaps of Dr. Drew, please. Good Lawdy, he's scrumptious!!!
15 of 17 | Posted by TheVoiceOfReason | Posted on January 28, 2008 5:59 PM
If you really want to know how things turn out for Jeff (no real surprises though), there's an article in the recent issue of Oprah's magazine that talks about the show.
16 of 17 | Posted by murphena | Posted on January 29, 2008 9:06 AM
"..and Jeff goes "hey how's it going," before shoving his head back in the now-placed-below-him garbage can. Fucking hilarious."
I agree.. Best Jeff Line Ever!!
2nd Best: When he tries to woo Dr. Drew w/ flattery.. moans ... "You look good in jeans."
PUHAHHAAA
17 of 17 | Posted by steez | Posted on January 29, 2008 10:20 AM