Tawny Kitaen mea culpa: It was brought to my attention that in my last recap I said she used to be married to "former Angels pitcher Steve Finley". I meant Chuck Finley. Steve Finley is the very well traveled outfielder who played for the Angels and Diamondbacks (among others). I actually knew it was Chuck Finley I just typed Steve instead for some reason.
Moving on. Dr. Drew decided to bring in a psychiatrist named Dr. Charles Sofie to evaluate Busey. When recounting his medical history, Massive Head Wound Gary mentioned that he had brain surgery. Here is the transcript of that conversation.
Massive Head Wound: I had brain surgery.
Dr. Sofie: For what?
Massive Head Wound: My brain.
Please note; that last line was delivered by Gary Busey without any hint of sarcasm.
Busey also informed the doctor that ANGER stands for Another Negative Grievance Explaining Rage. He also said that he has "angelic interactions" that he has to pass on to others. What else? Let's see; TRUTH apparently stands for Taking Real Understanding To Heart.
Maybe Gary can figure out an acronym for DEPAKOTE because that was the psychiatric drug Dr. Sofie and Dr. Drew decided to put him on to keep him from annoying the hell out of everyone in treatment; not to mention the viewing public. There is a possible light at the tunnel for all of us!
Diagnosis: Batshit Crazy. That'll be five hundred dollars.
Jeff Conaway whining episode #1: This is the first of what will no doubt be a series of infantile tantrums thrown by Jeff Conaway. This one involved him knocking on the divider door between his rehab and Vicki's rehab in order to talk to her. This immediately degraded into a confrontation with the new res-tech Luisha, who informed him that it was against the rules. This of course lead to a crying fit.
Wasn't he the calm, cool collected one on Taxi. Ah! He was merely acting! Ingenious! Why Thank You!
Jeff Conaway whining episode #2: This one involved him crying about how awful the facility was, how much pain he was in, and how much he wanted to leave. He verbally abused Luisha and then informed her he wanted to leave.
Quotables from Jeff during episode #2 included, but were not limited to, "...I feel like I'm dying, call 911!", and, "...they're not giving me anything for the pain, they're giving me M&M's!" This was all met with sympathy and attention from the other addicts (especially Busey).
First American ever to complain about receiving free M&Ms.
The climax of this fit came when he told Luisha to "...go pack my stuff, I'm leaving". Who does he think he's talking to; a bell hop, a maid, a roadie? Note to Jeff: The way I see it, if anything, YOU serve HER, not the other way around. Part of your "job" in this place is to help others with their recovery. Part of that help is staying out of the way of, and if possible, assisting the staff when needed. You want to leave? Stuff YOUR OWN dirty boxers in a garbage bag!
I'm not a parent. However, I have fantasized about murdering screaming kids on airplanes so I think I am qualified as any child psychologist to make the following statement. I have noticed that kids (such as Jeff Conaway) throw tantrums for no other reason than to get attention. I think that was the case here.
Unless you put a credit card in that hand, she ain't comin' to the door.
Eventually his girlfriend talked him down via the house phone and he agreed to stay (at least until the next morning). Once peace was restored Busey proclaimed "....that's why I can help people because I come from a spiritual land..". Not many people know this but Spiritualand is the capital of Annoyingreligiousguyville.
Moving on. The detox started hitting Amber Smith hard. She ended up lying in the middle of the hallway and vomiting in a garbage can while her legs twitched. Still hot! I am, and always will be, a complete and total dirt-bag.
Steven Adler woke up in the middle of the night suffering the after-affects from a dream. When he recounted it to Luisha, he said that all he could remember was someone saying, "...you think that's hurt? You ain't seen nothing yet." I hope that this dream represents Adler's fear of the future (and of sobriety). I hope to God that it isn't some cosmic FreddyKruegeresque foretelling of actual future events. This dude has been through enough already.
Hello? President of France? Thanks for calling me!
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Comments (5)
Awesome recap!
Before the show, I thought that Steven Adler would probably be a total douchebag, but I absolutely love the guy! He is a really down to earth great person. I hope he turns himself around and gets another chance somewhere.
1 of 5 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:21 AM
I am lovin this season. The recap is fab. I don't see you as a dirtbag, because I also thought, outloud at times, that Amber is stunning. Everytime she was on screen I only thought of her looks and not any of her pain-jealous? me?
I'm so rooting for Steven Adler and happy for him that his wife seems to really love and support him.
AARRGGHH - the kiss...ugh. That was harder to watch than any denial, delusion, vomitting, etc.
Also glad to hear of a fellow citizen's views regarding screaming babies on airplanes. I would add to that, in restaurants, in Target, at the grocery store, any and all public places. Love your recaps as much as the show, AWM!
2 of 5 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:21 AM
Sorry shantigal et. al, if I can't bring my screaming brats to Target to purposefully annoy nonparents I fear I will have nothing left.
3 of 5 | Posted by tadow | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:41 AM
Great recap. Very funny.
Busey is hard to watch - but I try to remember that he has brain damage. And he was pretty hard to take even before that.
4 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 5, 2008 10:15 AM
Sadly, Gary never learned that a motorcycle helmet can be your friend. He has never been the same since he bashed his head on the pavement. It's really sad to see.
5 of 5 | Posted by Girl Please! | Posted on November 5, 2008 6:28 PM