Everyone remember what I am about to say because I mean it. If Amber Smith and/or Tawny Kitaen go missing (in the near or far future) they were hypnotized by MHWG and his girlfriend, and kidnapped/murdered/eaten etc. Seriously. Call the police, the FBI, Dr. Drew, John Walsh, whomever, call somebody, and tell them to track down MHWG. I am not kidding.
Yes, crazy. The cameras are still on you.
Where was I? Oh yeah, MHWG never got the chance to fully pitch his murder scam because he wanted privacy from the cameras. Gee, I wonder why?
He has no right to tell the cameramen to beat it. He agreed to be filmed every waking clothed moment when this thing started. Apparently this had been going on for a while. They flashed back to some behind the scenes footage (How the hell can there be "behind the scenes footage" in an f-ing reality show? I agree. You can call it "footage of sausage making" if you so desire.) where MHWG was badgering the cameramen/producers/sound dudes about putting on his mike, being filmed etc. etc.
Since MHWG is so outwardly religious (In addition to being from Spiritualland, USA he's on a bunch of crappy movies on the various religious stations.) and addicted to acronyms why doesn't he live by WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)? Do you think if Jesus suffered from self inflicted head trauma and got addicted to coke and then ended up on celebrity rehab he would be giving the poor union crew people shit about doing their jobs? I don't think so. I mean Jesus would totally be a dick to the resident techs and the other addicts, but not the cameramen. Come on!
In closing; it got so bad that MHWG actually started pushing the cameraman away he, Tawny and Amber. What a dick! On top of it all, when Luisha was summoned to sort the whole mess out, he tried to enlist Tawny and Amber as WITNESSES against the cameraman.
Hey Rodney! How ya doin? Wait sorry Head Wound is still having a meltdown. Talk soon!
This is akin to John Wayne Gacy trying to use one of the kids he was raping and killing to get out of a parking ticket. Here is a hypothetical answering machine message from that:
"Hi, Bruce, I don't know if you remember me, my name is John, John Gacy. Yeah um, yeah, well I don't know if you remember this but um, last Friday the 29th I lured you into my car with some marijuana. Then I um knocked you out with some chloroform and then took you back to my home and handcuffed you to my radiator and sexually molested you, and then tried to strangle you but you got away. Yeah um, I hope you remember that. Well, here's the thing. I got this parking ticket in the mail from the Chicago Police for that day, the 29th. Anyway, that's impossible right? I was with you right? I was attempting to rape and murder you. Will you tell them that if there is a trial? OK, well, Bruce, I'm gonna fight this thing, and I'm gonna put you down as a witness on the little form thing here. Let me know what you think........"
And so on.
If Tawny or Amber show up on America's Most Wanted remember, you heard it at TVGASM first!
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Comments (5)
Awesome recap!
Before the show, I thought that Steven Adler would probably be a total douchebag, but I absolutely love the guy! He is a really down to earth great person. I hope he turns himself around and gets another chance somewhere.
1 of 5 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 5, 2008 8:21 AM
I am lovin this season. The recap is fab. I don't see you as a dirtbag, because I also thought, outloud at times, that Amber is stunning. Everytime she was on screen I only thought of her looks and not any of her pain-jealous? me?
I'm so rooting for Steven Adler and happy for him that his wife seems to really love and support him.
AARRGGHH - the kiss...ugh. That was harder to watch than any denial, delusion, vomitting, etc.
Also glad to hear of a fellow citizen's views regarding screaming babies on airplanes. I would add to that, in restaurants, in Target, at the grocery store, any and all public places. Love your recaps as much as the show, AWM!
2 of 5 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:21 AM
Sorry shantigal et. al, if I can't bring my screaming brats to Target to purposefully annoy nonparents I fear I will have nothing left.
3 of 5 | Posted by tadow | Posted on November 5, 2008 9:41 AM
Great recap. Very funny.
Busey is hard to watch - but I try to remember that he has brain damage. And he was pretty hard to take even before that.
4 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 5, 2008 10:15 AM
Sadly, Gary never learned that a motorcycle helmet can be your friend. He has never been the same since he bashed his head on the pavement. It's really sad to see.
5 of 5 | Posted by Girl Please! | Posted on November 5, 2008 6:28 PM