Tonight on Celebrity Rehab, it's family time.
Calm down, mother. This is a professional environment.
Episode six started out exactly where the five ended. Dr. Drew chased after Steven Adler when he stomped out of the meeting with his mother. Adler went out on the porch and began telling Conaway and Massive Head Wound Gary about what went on. These two are the exact bizzaro opposites of Freud and Jung. Thank God Drew got his ass out there and was able to get in on the chat and assure Adler that his mom is in denial.
Dr. Drew's goal in this episode seems to be to get the celeb addicts family in the picture via holding a "family day" where they come to the facility and hang out for the day. To that end, we got some clips of Amber and Jeff calling their families. Amber's mom was a quick yes while whoever Jeff was talking to was a "..I'm spending time with my mom and her kids..", no. Is this person on the other end his girlfriend? I thought she was in rehab next door so why would she be coming anyway? Stay tuned.
Vikki didn't stay in rehab? That is just shocking news.
Drew expressed worry about Scott/Sean Stewart because he has abandonment issues and it seemed like he wasn't going to invite anyone. I have always pegged Stewart as a pretty boy douche bag. Could it be that the reason he has no one to invite is not because of personal issues but because others have (like me) pegged him as a douche bag and don't want to come visit him? Does the fact that I am thinking/writing this make me a complete dick? Will anyone visit me when I am in rehab? He eventually invited his girlfriend.
Next came a group session where Drew encouraged everyone to open up and tell some of the awful things that they have done to both themselves and to their family in order to get drugs. Bob Forrest (one of the counselors) admitted that he had stolen one of his friends' daughters' Lion King DVD's. Honestly, how much drugs can you get from selling a used DVD? I sold a Gigli DVD for two sniff hits of epoxy glue in 1999. The DVD was still in the wrapper. Does my transaction give an accurate picture of the drugs for DVD market? I don't know. I can only offer my anecdotal experience as evidence because unfortunately, the FOX Business Channel does not display DVD to inhalant conversion rates. And Rupert Murdoch wonders why they aren't getting ratings!
If this movie had ever been worth more than 99 cents, I could have overdosed.
Nikki Mc Kibben told of how she hocked a ring that her mother had made for her. Boring! Come on. It would have been more interesting if it was, like, a ring a mentally disabled kid had made her. Spice it up a little. This is Celebrity Rehab. Pedestrian stories like this belong on that loser show Intervention or on the Hocking Mommies Rings show on QVC.
Sean Stewart said he fake beat himself up in order to go to the hospital and get more Vicodin. Oddly enough, the medical staff at the hospital found his story that someone got angry enough to physically assault him completely plausible. Go figure.
Next came Amber Smith. She told of several episodes where she was sexually exploited by her dentist, her psychiatrist and several other creeps. Now none of these people were nearly as awful as that dork who made all those comments about her ass on TVGASM.COM. If I was running the Pasadena Recovery Center I would organize a field trip where all the celebs find that jerk and burn him at the stake upside-down. That guy is the cause of all her problems, and, for that matter, the problems that plague our world (AIDS and deck collapse come to mind).
Rodney King's two estranged adult daughters (he hasn't seen them in three years) were not going to be able to attend the family day so Drew decided to invite them to come in and meet on another day. Rodney was very nervous about seeing them. Drew decided to sit in on their meeting in order to facilitate them continuing their relationship.
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Comments (12)
The way I took the situation with Vicki, is that her mother (and someone's kids) were coming to visit HER in rehab that day, so she could not come and visit Jeff unless she brought her mother and these kids along with her, and Jeff understandably put the kibosh on that.
1 of 12 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 8, 2008 5:10 AM
Wintersux, I got the same impression as you. I thought it sounded like she was getting a visit from her mom and kids at rehab. Apparently it was family day for the non-celebs too. Of course, big baby Jeff can't comprehend something NOT being about him. How dare her have her family with her on FAMILY day! He is the one that is the douche. And I still get the feeling that he is constantly acting for the camera.
And TAWM, I think you should change your name to TheSoftiestWhitestMale. An angry male should be able to snark on anything! I kid. I kid.
2 of 12 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on December 8, 2008 6:02 AM
Can we get someone else to recap this show? It is an awesome show, and the recaps are so lame. Please!!??
3 of 12 | Posted by deemarie | Posted on December 8, 2008 6:16 AM
NO! I love this recapper! I consider myself to be as snarky as any proud daily TVGasm reader, but I see that TAWM has the exact same reaction to this show that I do--you tune in to laugh at the ridiculousness of these attention-seeking D-listers, but then your sensitive side gets a sneak attack by the real pain that these people have. I read this recap this morning thinking that this guy did a great job of balancing what's off limits, and what's up for sarcasm (i.e., that fabulous photo of Rod the Bod in all his pubic glory has already been saved as my screensaver.)
4 of 12 | Posted by User Name | Posted on December 8, 2008 7:48 AM
i have to agree with you deemarie. can we please get another recapper for this show. one the pays attention to the details of the show. these recaps are boring and the snark is misguided and lame at best.
5 of 12 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on December 8, 2008 8:26 AM
After seeing that picture of Rod Stewart, I feel like we should all cut Sean a little slack.
It seems to me that the problem with the recaps is that this show is virtually impossible to snark on. It's a tall order to yuk it up over the ruins that somebody has made of their life, even if that someone is Gary or Jeff Conaway.
6 of 12 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on December 8, 2008 12:39 PM
I agree with pixielated. It seems like if a recapper does snark on this show then he or she is called insensitive, but if there's subtle or no snark then it's boring. I hated the "supple ass" recap but I think the rest of them have been pretty good.
7 of 12 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on December 8, 2008 1:26 PM
Hi Angry White Male,
I'm really impressed with the professionalism you're showing by continuing to recap this show without getting in to nasty side arguments.
I think username and pixielated hit it right on the head, this would be a very difficult show to work with. I hope you hang in there, this site has alot of really sweet people on it.
That being said, consider this a belated welcome to the Gasm,
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 12 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on December 8, 2008 1:30 PM
well, I guess there's no accounting for taste, because I thought this recap was HILARIOUS (except for Rod Stewart's pubes. That was just cruel.)
Please keep 'em coming AWM; some of us love you! ... As long as you keep your obsession with Amber Smith's ass to yourself :)
9 of 12 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on December 8, 2008 4:48 PM
I never watch the show...I only read these recaps. That's as close to this show as I ever want to get, and I appreciate TAWM for watching the show so I don't have to.
Keep up the good work.
10 of 12 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on December 8, 2008 8:45 PM
I was sufficiently entertained. Thank you AWM. Perhaps it is the lack of tabasco sauce that is affecting your snark. My employers have foolishly entrusted me with access to large quantities of tabasco sauce. I'm sure we can work out a deal.
11 of 12 | Posted by tadow | Posted on December 9, 2008 7:04 AM
AWM, I adore you and your recaps! Hilarious and blunt (but not heartless) and you hit the high points, and always score some big laughs w/ me. Huge fan here.
12 of 12 | Posted by lucykitty | Posted on December 11, 2008 12:12 AM