When I finished last week's recap of Celebrity Rehab, I was worried that with the end of detox, these episodes would start to get pretty boring. But then I remembered that these people have only completed the physical aspect of detox, and the more they want a fix, the more irritable they will get. And that is a formula for awesome disaster.
Ladies, here is your bicep pic of the day. Happy?
We left off with Gunz Pinksy talking to Jeff about trying to act sane, and Jeff said he was going to check himself out of rehab. And this week we're treated to a recap of last week that lasts about 15 minutes. I guess that's one way to make sure you have enough interesting content.
If that's not bad enough, we see the tail end of Jeff and Drew's conversation that we saw last week. You'd think I would have learned by now. Jeff says the rules are stupid, and his entire argument is about his cell phone. He also says it's fascism. He's right. They don't even let him do drugs here! Talk about your fascist regimes. Drew Pinksy? More like Drew Mussolini.
Drew tells us that all of Jeff's acting out is really just him having a tantrum because he wants drugs. Baby wants his bottle. Ricco wanders over and tells Jeff that if he leaves, he might as well tell everyone goodbye forever because he's going to die. Even Ricco thinks that's a mistake, and I'm pretty sure we all know how good Ricco's decision-making is. Drew tells Ricco to bring the ladies over so they can say bye to Jeff.
Nice work, Jeff. You've even bored the crap out of the doctor with your whining.
Mary's up first, and Jeff just looks down her shirt the entire time she's talking. Mary says they've been helping him, so she'd be disappointed. I would feel more like my time was wasted. But it's been a long day, and Drew wants everybody to go to sleep and he'll work on getting Jeff phone time tomorrow. Hopefully he's just trying to convince Jeff he'll try but he really won't do anything.
The next morning Jeff apologizes to Shelly for being crabby the night before. She makes a throat-slashing gesture to him, and I enjoyed that. Ok, she didn't, but she should have, especially since he's always in that damn wheelchair and would be slow to get away. But, uh, I digress.
Brigitte and Daniel talk, and Daniel is feeling caged today. Hmm, maybe you shouldn't have checked yourself into rehab if you're already clean. I've formed my own opinions about Daniel being in treatment, but I'll save them for later. Because I'm sure everyone cares.
Come on, stay! I'll blow ya...
At group on day 6, Drew says they'll start looking into why people are using. Jeff says he doesn't know, which absolutely no one believes. He says he's not sure he can get clean, sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. And when he doesn't, he doesn't even want to live. Drew guided him right to that answer. But now that Jeff is with these people, people who care about him, he's feeling connected to everyone.
Now Drew wants to move onto what got Jeff to use in the first place. Jeff says he was tortured and pedophiled. I think that's the word he used. Then Drew points to Mary, and Mary isn't sure what just happened so she asks how he was tortured. Don't worry Mary, I'm not sure what just happened either. Jeff says the much older guys he hung out with when he was 3 and 4 used to beat him, hang him from buildings, tie him to railroad tracks. Yeesh. Then he was selling magazines for the Catholic church when he was 7, and this guy took him to a studio with women in it. And there was, uh, fondling. And then he says there was a camera there. Catholicism wow!
Wowzers. Drew tells everyone that sexual abuse is common in addicts, and part of the conflict is that people are sometimes aroused by it. It's sort of a mechanism for dealing with it, and it's difficult to handle. Then he asks if anybody else would like to talk today. Well let me just throw my hand up right now. Nothing makes me want to talk more than just hearing about Jeff's abuse. And that's the end of the group session.
So...anyone wanna see Cloverfield?
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Comments (10)
Yes, Daniel gets on my nerves as well. But I do think he contributes something to the others in there. They look up to him... even if that means he looks down on them.
Did you know this is the first time all four Baldwin brothers have been on television shows at the same time? Alec is on '30 Rock', Billy is on 'Dirty, Sexy Money', Stephen is on 'Celebrity Apprentice', and the shining star in the Baldwin family Christmas letter this year will be Daniel with his quitting 'Celeb Rehab'.
1 of 10 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on February 1, 2008 8:08 AM
Yikes.
Thats why he left, the picure texts. He knew he shouldn't have done that on camera, asked a porn star for masturbating material. His pregnant wife is gonna kill him! He is a total prick.
2 of 10 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on February 1, 2008 8:18 AM
Scarlet, I was thinking the same thing about the Baldwin brothers, but I always get Billy and Stephen mixed up, so for the longest time I thought he was on both The Apprentice and Dirty, Sexy Money.
Anywho, Daniel really did annoy me this episode, and I am beyond pumped to see what a dirty old man Mr. High Horse Baldwin is next week.
Oh and is being a pot head really that serious??? I'm sorry, I just don't believe it is. Sorry Jamie/Judy Winslow
3 of 10 | Posted by lalia | Posted on February 1, 2008 8:20 AM
I totally think Daniel is full of it! and especially now that I've seen the previews for next week, what was he doing??
4 of 10 | Posted by pixyamiga | Posted on February 1, 2008 8:28 AM
Wow, you put up this recap so quickly. Up all night on another meth binge, Tom? Love the title of the recap btw, and thanks so much for the screencap of Dr. Drew's guns.
Daniel Baldwin had some manic thing going on this week, didn't he? He does seem like he's about to relapse at any moment. And can you believe his wife is pregnant? Who would want to have a kid with someone with such a LONG history of drug abuse and only a few months of sobriety?
5 of 10 | Posted by angiemarie | Posted on February 1, 2008 9:27 AM
Lmao at the wheaties box picture!
6 of 10 | Posted by lemongurl | Posted on February 1, 2008 1:24 PM
Dan was really obnoxious this episode. I first thought he was trying to weasel out of rehab due to a drug addiciton, but now I'm wondering if it isn't more of a sex addiction problem - and there were too many temptations for him in rehab. Whatever, I still hope he - and all of them - work out their problems. If Jeff and Chyna's childhoods are typical, they have plenty cause to have emotional challenges.
Also - I wish that darn blur wouldn't occur at all the wrong places. What causes that, anyway?
7 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on February 1, 2008 3:31 PM
Between the photo of Drew's guns and this quote from TOM:
"I see a camera, I get in a white t-shirt and pour water all over myself. Most people are just confused. Confused, yet probably also aroused."
I am gonna need a cold shower.
8 of 10 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on February 1, 2008 6:31 PM
Super speedy recap - how can I complain!??! Can't - awesome job!
Thank YOU so much for clearing up the wet t-shirt contest, it's to see whose shirt is wetter ... ah-ha! (Hilarious!)
Keep up the good work!
9 of 10 | Posted by chelle | Posted on February 2, 2008 6:13 AM
Oh my god get daniel baldwin out of that place! he makes me want a drink or two! what a condescending a-hole. when he said there were just too many temptations in this place, I thought to myself that being horny must make him want to use. is that how it works?
10 of 10 | Posted by herestolife | Posted on February 6, 2008 11:40 AM