Last week on Charm School: Marcia loved Ricki Lake, Hos donated clothes, Beverly assaulted Porno and got booted off the show, Gia got smashed and was expelled, and 50 years of fighting against racial stereotypes was flushed down the toilet in 60 minutes.
Greetings Gasmii. I injured my wrist pretty badly this weekend so this whole typing thing hurts a whole lot right now, but I have a responsibility to you, my loyal readers, to let you know what's happening in the drunken tramp school. My solutions were either dig up some old prescription pain meds or start drinking at 3:00pm. Since the percocets make my brain not work I decided to go with booze. Apologies in advance for any bad typing, spelling errors, etc. It's either drunk recap or no recap.
We open on Ashley, who says she's very happy, but worried about losing two ROL girls the night before. Soho is bitching to Farrah about having to share a room with Bubbles and Bubbles is STANDING RIGHT THERE! Seriously, either yell at her to her face or talk shit about her when she's gone. Talking shit about her while less than a foot away from her is just cruel. Bubbles mumbles something and I don't quite catch it but I'm pretty sure she was just trying to be nice. 3bay gets all up in her face like she just insulted her mama or something, and starts screaming in some high-pitched noise that I'm pretty sure only dogs and dolphins could decipher. Hearing the siren call of dolphin screeching the other Real Chance girls descend upon Bubbles like a pack of wild hyenas. I don't even know where they all came from. One minute I just see Farrah, Bubbles, Soho, and 3bay and then suddenly four more girls appear to jump on the Yell At Bubbles Train. It's like they have a friggin Bat Signal or something.
Farrah looks like she's laughing pretty hard in the background, but in confessional she seems genuinely concerned for poor Bubbles.
In the other room Kip and Brittanya are pondering over what all the screaming is about. Dude, I was watching it on my television, with subtitles, and a rewind feature and I STILL don't know what all the screaming was about. The Real Chance girls all yell over each other and they all seem to be stuck on repeat. It's like a broken record played at double speed with the volume turned all the way up. Actually, it's like six of those playing different "songs" simultaneously.
Ricki announces that the ladies must report to the lecture hall for their first lesson in 30 minutes. Marcia decides to study up with mimosas. I used that same study technique in college... And high school... Okay and middle school too. Shut up, I grew up in a trailer park. I got straight A's though, so maybe there's something to this whole studying through booze theory.
Down in the study hall we learn that today's lesson is Thou Shalt Be a Model Citizen. Lala brings in Tanya Acker, whom Charm School says is a social activist. She's not important enough to have a Wikipedia entry, but a Google search informed me that she is an attorney, political activist, and Obama supporter. I didn't see anything about her being out on bail or getting thrown out of conferences for brawling so I'm not really sure how she wound up on Charm School. Acker tells the girls they need to learn social responsibility and then proceeds to give a minute long definition of what that is. Normally I would think they were dumbing things down for the viewing public, but I'm pretty sure no one in the room had any idea what that was before she told them. I would guess that about half of them are still not clear on the concept.
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Comments (9)
Hey TheMiki,
Great recap, really appreciate you watching this crap so we don't have to. These girls are rediculous and should all be given the "Old Yeller Treatment."
1 of 9 | Posted by johncon966 | Posted on May 28, 2009 7:00 AM
Maybe it's just me, but while SoHo was packing and complaining, she sounded a lot like New York. Kinda funny.
2 of 9 | Posted by fluffy | Posted on May 28, 2009 7:00 AM
Good recap. I had missed this episode, but saw the next one (I admit, sheepishly).
I didn't understand all the irrational mob hate toward Bubbles, but now that I realize she was on Real Chance with the lync mob, it makes sense... this must feel like a recurring nightmare to her.
I empathize with Bubbles and Porn Star for being ganged up on, but Bubbles is a lot more likeable.
Brit's cheek piercings make me cringe, but she seems pretty likeable (comparatively). The rest of them are equally forgettable (and untouchable).
3 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 28, 2009 9:12 AM
You know I didn't watch the full season of Real/Chance but from what I did see I liked Bubbles and by all those girls being so mean to her I think I like her more for being able to take it so well. She's kinda like the Real/Chance version of Leilene- and I prefer possibly stupid over all the other girls who pretend to be all badass but then cry the second they're threatened or have a chance and getting sent home. I hope the whole little bully click (3bay, Soho, etc.) gets sent home soon.
4 of 9 | Posted by Reiray | Posted on May 28, 2009 9:14 AM
I agree with Johncon - thank you for recapping this show so we don't have to watch it. :)
5 of 9 | Posted by Clair | Posted on May 28, 2009 9:27 AM
But....but....this is QUALITY entertainment, people. How can you not watch this show?
Well, okay, I tend to specialize in trash tv, so I've got a pretty strong stomach for this kind of crap.
Besides, Bubbles just thrills me. I'm soooo hoping that she's actually a genius (idiot savant) and just isn't able to articulate her thoughts because she's thinking way too fast.
Yeah, right. I know.
There's nothing likeable about Brittanya. She's probably the skankiest of the whole bunch of 'em.
Off to watch ep. 3!
6 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 28, 2009 2:22 PM
Kiki gave an interview where she accused Rikki of being racist and eliminating her instead of one of the "white girls." Um... she got kicked off of Charm School for the EXACT same reason she got kicked off of Real Chance at Love -- Because she was a bully and couldn't control her anger/aggression. But I guess if a black person kicks her off it is alright, but if a white person does it they are racist. I call bullshit. When I was watching RCoL and even back to Flavor of Love, I repeatedly heard the black girls referring to white girls as "white bitches" yet no one seemed to think that was racist. Why not just call them plain ole bitches? You can't tell me that if one of the white girls called one of the black girls a "black bitch" that a whole can of worms wouldn't have been opened up!
One other thing, I don't remember if it was this episode or the one after or if it was in the bonus clips, but the RCoL girls kept going on and on about how horrible it was for the RoL girls to lock Porn Stalk in the bathroom. But none of them let her out either. When asked about this, they said they weren't around, but in the bonus clips on VH1, it shows one of them running to the door to listen or something. So that is bullshit too.
7 of 9 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on May 28, 2009 2:41 PM
I really hope the RCOL girls see this and realize how dumb they are. Although, they may not understand half of the words. Team Bubbles FTW!
8 of 9 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on May 28, 2009 3:35 PM
I haven't read this week's recap but I have to say, it really bothers me that the "Real Chance" girls are still going by their show names. Monique did it right on the first Charm School when she only used the girls real names, because if they want to change who they are, they have to move past the stereotypes of what they were on the whow.
9 of 9 | Posted by nashuaf | Posted on May 29, 2009 9:39 AM