Greetings Gasmii. Have you ever wondered why it takes me so long to get my recaps up after a show has aired? If you guessed that it's because I'm a lazy procrastinator with a mild to moderate drinking problem then you're only half-right. Allow me to paint a picture for you of my writing process. First, let's set the scene: It is currently hovering around 100 degrees outside most hours of the day here in Reno. I have air conditioning, but it's in the living room. My computer is in my room, so if I don't want to have my room turn into a sauna I HAVE to keep the door open at all times. When my door is open my cat is free to come and go as he pleases. This is what I have to deal with the entire time I'm trying to recap.
The sad thing is, I think Dante (that's the cat) is right. Staring at him is way more entertaining than watching Charm School.
So our final episode of Charm School 3 opens with a recap of Kip locking Pornstalk in the bathroom and shoving hotdogs under the door for her. The edges aren't blurry, so clearly no one is currently remembering this happening. Then we see her call Bubbles retarded. Twice. Funny thing is, Vh1 bleeps out the word "Retarded" now. Seriously? I get that it's a fucked up thing to call someone, but since when does Vh1 care if they offend us? And why don't they care that they're offending my sense of decency AND my intelligence with every new show they produce.
We get the obligatory series of clips of Kip saying she wants to be a better person, then being a bitch, then saying she's really changed, then being a bitch... Lather rinse repeat. No one cares.
Up next is this fine specimen of charm and grace:
The word tequila is said something like seven times in ten seconds, and then there's a nice montage of Marcia drinking, burping, drinking, yelling, drinking, and eventually jumping naked into a pool.
Thank god they're showing us this recap of the season because apparently Marcia quit drinking. I had no idea. It's weird how they never mentioned that on the show...
Risky is up next, and I honestly don't remember her ever being all that bad. They try and make her out to be a thug or something by showing her screaming at Porn Stalk, but come on! It's fucking Porn Stalk. Gandhi himself would have punched that bitch in the throat if locked in a house with her for ten minutes.
"Bitch if you were any less black you'd be clear!"
We see Risky learning to open up and talking about being afraid of being judged or getting hurt. I already made fun of this once this season, but seriously, who on earth isn't? This isn't a break-through, honey. Not even if you cry while you're saying it.
So this is it. It all comes down to this. Who will it be? The bitch? Haha, not likely. The ex-drunk? Hmmm... Maybe, but it's a longshot. Or the girl with no real major personality issues who was so boring I never even gave her a nickname? Yeah, I think you know where my money's at.
Are we done watching crap we've already seen yet? Awesome. I know that people have short attention spans and need to be reminded of everything all the time, but re-recapping the same scenes kinda makes my head hurt.
In New Orleans, the ladies are packing up and getting ready to head back to L.A.
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Comments (12)
I love you.
I am the bitch that took heat because I was a little annoyed about late re-caps and the reason's for them.But this is the best reason I have heard :-)for shirking responsability!
Good Re-cap too.
TC,Robin
1 of 12 | Posted by Robinez | Posted on August 1, 2009 7:09 PM
That cat is so fucking cute I can't even stand it.
Thanks so much for hanging in there on this train wreck and delivering the giggles each and every week. You rock.
I have to say I'm a little disappointed about Douche Academy, but the Krapdashians, well, there will certainly be a plethora of material to work with there. I'm sure you'll deliver the goods on that one. :-)
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on August 1, 2009 8:02 PM
Great - I couldn't have said it better myself ~
3 of 12 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on August 1, 2009 8:27 PM
Thanks everyone! I haven't heard anything about a Charm School reunion yet, but if there is one I'll be sure to recap it.
I'm wondering if I should spend tomorrow watching reruns of that other Kardashian show so I at least know who those two girls are. My guess would be spoiled rich idiots...
4 of 12 | Posted by TheMiki | Posted on August 1, 2009 11:06 PM
Miki, I think Dante and my cat Rory must have been separated at birth. They have the same markings (Rory is a different color, "buff") and, seemingly, the same personality.
And I have a laptop!
5 of 12 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on August 1, 2009 11:47 PM
I appreciate you’ve mentioned the whole interpreter thing. It was ludicrous. Also, for someone who makes fun of people speaking English badly, it’s “whose” dads are in jail, or bastards, or whatever, not “who’s”. And I’m not a native speaker – English is my fourth language.
6 of 12 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on August 2, 2009 9:23 AM
Oh, and TheMiki, I love you.
7 of 12 | Posted by SpaceVenus | Posted on August 2, 2009 9:28 AM
I will tell you why they used an interpreter: they don't trust Marcia. Think about it. She could have easily TOLD Ricki and Dr. Fear that she was telling her mom, "I drink because of the stepfather thing." and placated them, while really telling her mom something totally different. Who would have known the difference? So why not have Marcia and her mom talk to each other and just have the interpreter relay what was said to Dr. Fear and Ricki? Probably would have made it too hard to follow for the therapist, thus making it difficult to be "in the moment" with her client. She would not have been able to guide the session...Just a guess.
8 of 12 | Posted by messystation | Posted on August 2, 2009 12:28 PM
cutest kitty pic EVER!!!
9 of 12 | Posted by indychick | Posted on August 2, 2009 12:58 PM
If you DO decide to spend all day watching the Krapdashians, please make sure you check in with us at some point. That show could possibly turn your brain to mush and send it dribbling out through your nose. I can't be wondering all night if you survived.
SWAK, PottyMouth
10 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on August 2, 2009 1:14 PM
Am I the only one who missed Sharon Osbourne? Ricki and her patented sympathetic looks and tent dress/boot combos just did not do it for me.
11 of 12 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on August 3, 2009 6:59 AM
I just think the show was casted badly. Although I was one who preferred the RL tent dress/boot combo. (Wintersux, LMAO @ that image!)
12 of 12 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on August 3, 2009 12:10 PM