Last week on Charm School, we all got a break from the trashiness because VH1 was busy airing some other nonsense that I'm not obligated to watch or write about. The week before that there was a bunch of drama involving K.O. and 3bay tried to give up her place so that K.O. could stay on and grow, but then K.O. gave her pin to 3bay and walked out. It was riveting stuff folks. Absolutely riveting! On with this week's trashfest, eh?

Hey everyone. I got a new kitty this week and he's distracting me horribly while I try and write this recap. Look how cute he is:

So anyway, this week's show opens about where we left off. K.O. gives 3bay her pin and comes up to the front to read Ricki a letter she's prepared. She says she hopes to one day inspire girls the way that Ricki has and she wants to be just like her, all through hysterical sobbing, of course, because this is Charm School.
And with that K.O. walks out. Lala tries to get her to stay, but it's to no avail. K.O. does not like being called a liar and she ain't puttin' up with that. Now Gasmii, I've known a few pathological liars in my day, and they all react in the same over-the-top fashion when someone calls them a liar. Methinks that perhaps K.O. is completely full of shit, but hey, that's just me.

Ricki tries to defend K.O.'s behavior and Risky jumps in and says it's crap because she was a foster kid too and she never knew her parents but she doesn't talk about it all the time because she doesn't want everyone to pity her. Ricki is deeply moved by her speech, but I think Ricki would be deeply moved by an episode of Grey's Anatomy at this point, so who really cares? Most of us have had some sort of weirdly traumatic lives these days. Let's all get over it, shall we? I'm sure your doctor can put you on some sort of Xanax/Prozac regimen, or you could just be like me and take all your anger out in snarky recap form.
Oh yeah, back to the show. To 3bay gets to stay and K.O. is expelled, although I think I would consider what she did more like dropping out. Either way she's totally not gonna get into a good charm college now. Ricki announces that there will no longer be detention, but rather she and the deans will decide who winds up on the carpet.

The next morning Marcia is talking about all the weight she's lost since she stopped drinking. It's been six days, and I'm actually insanely impressed. I know people quit drinking all the time, and six days doesn't even get you a shiny new token in AA, but for a recovering alcoholic to be in that environment and not drink is probably as hard as kicking smack in the middle of a crackhouse. You go Marcia!

Ricki calls everyone down to the lecture hall for their weekly lesson. I have my fingers crossed for, Thou Shalt Not Try and Find Love on a Second Rate VH1 Reality Show, but instead we get this:

Brittanya is confused (I know, I know, it's shocking) and seems to think that today's lesson will involve doing naughty things to Stryker. Even as a great big lesbian I'm usually pretty good at objectively noticing when a guy is sexy, but I just don't see it in Stryker. I see him more as the annoying little brother type, even though I'm pretty sure he's older than me. What say ye, members of the Gasmii who prefer the male gender? Is Stryker hot?

Unfortunately for Brittanya, today's lesson is all about compassion and tolerance. Stryker introduces everyone to these two gentlemen from The Museum of Tolerance.

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Comments (16)
Is he the cutest kitty that ever was? Oh, sorry. I was just looking at your new kitten. What's his name? Spot would be the obvious choice.
Stryker ain't hot. He used to be a radio personality here before he "hit the big time" with LoveLine. He epitomizes "a face made for radio" IMO. His name is hot, though.
1 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 5, 2009 10:54 PM
And to think, this episode was the highlight of the whole season this far.
This episode is like having sex with someone who is clearly not into it at all, you know the type, she just lies there, not moving, eyes closed, stiff as a board, you wonder why she even bothered. Who wants to come into that? The only thing to do is to tuck up and get the fuck out of there.
2 of 16 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 5, 2009 11:32 PM
Pixie-- His name is Loki. The Monroe-esque beauty mark was adorable, but he's a boy so we couldn't figure out a way to tie it into a name.
Itchy-- I'm with you, except imagine having to stand over that uncomfortable sex scene taking stills and typing up a recap. Yeah... This week was rough.
3 of 16 | Posted by TheMiki | Posted on July 6, 2009 3:42 AM
Stryker is OK looking, but I think Brit is horny, so I take anything she says with a grain of salt. Like everyone else, I wanted this ep to get better, but it never got off the ground and ultimately was a waste of time. Bringing people back just to not let them back into the house... repeating everything every five seconds... whatever....
4 of 16 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 6, 2009 7:48 AM
Just curious for those who know, what was 3Bay like on Real Chance at Love?
That's the one "of Love" show I couldnt bring myself to watch...just wondering if she was like this on that show as well, or if this is a new side of her.
God knows why I am still watching this. It took me 4 nights to get through last week's episode; kept falling asleep after 10 minutes of watching. Now I feel like I have to keep watching to see how it ends.
5 of 16 | Posted by Brenda Walsh | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:15 AM
Considering that Stryker is the only male in the house (Insert Natasha Joke), I'm guessing he must look hot to the girls. Plus, keep in mind that Britt competed for the love of Bret Micheals...
Was I the only one with 3bay this week? If she's changed, what is the big deal about letting other girls who need it more have a chance. Yeah, she gave up 100k...I think the change is probably priceless, but w/e.
6 of 16 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:23 AM
Except I don't buy the 'change' angle one bit. This skanks are there for the cash. And you'd think the winner SHOULD be the one who has improved most at the end.
But I've said it before, the entire concept of this show is assbackwards.
But really the show was supposed to be just an excuse to get a snatch of loud obnoxious skanks permanently drunk and watch the fur fly.
But it seems to me they took away the alcohol (because they were seriously endangering Marcia's health)...and the result, well, these personality-challenged idiots are just plain boring, aren't they? Even Kip. Especially Kip. What a huge letdown she is.
Farrah turned out to be the smartest one, she bailed at the right time.
I'd much prefer Beauty and the Geek. That was a great show. And I actually believed that at least some of those people went through an actual transformation. Why not bring that back?
7 of 16 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 6, 2009 9:45 AM
Itchy-- Wasn't the most heinous character in the history of Charm School (Meagan) a finalist on Beauty and the Geek? I guess those life changes don't really stick.
8 of 16 | Posted by themiki | Posted on July 6, 2009 9:59 AM
Megan wasn't really heinous; she just exposed Sharon Osbourne to be the bitchiest woman on the planet and in need of Charm School herself. After quitting ILM 1 after screwing over everyone and having no discernible skills (other than those probably kept mercifully off-screen), she left a bad taste in my mouth for that more than anything.
9 of 16 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 6, 2009 12:26 PM
Megan played a different character on Beauty and the Geek (ditzy but sweet blonde), which is why she won that show.
Afterwards, she (i.e., her agent) redeveloped herself into the evil bitchy character, which worked out pretty well for her, since it got her on three more shows, and ultimately her own 'love' show.
And love or her hate her, at least she made her shows interesting most of the time. There's nothing comparable to her this season, which is why it sucks so hard.
Although her act started to get old, I agree.
10 of 16 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 6, 2009 1:27 PM
Your new kitty is so freaking cute!
Another awesome recap for a bunch o' boring skanks. I never thought it would be possible that Kip and Brit could put me to sleep, but that's just what they did! I fell asleep while watching this show!!
Luckily I have you so I don't have to attempt watching it again!
Mechanical bullriding seen through the eyes of themiki should be AWESOME!
SWAK, PottyMouth
11 of 16 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 6, 2009 4:35 PM
Loki is a great name, but you might pay for it down the line if he tries to live up to it. I remember those Norse myths.
Hmmm, mechanical bullriding in charm school? Intriguing. What important etiquette lesson will that teach?
Why would ANYBODY bail on $100,000?
12 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 6, 2009 6:48 PM
I have actually met Stryker, and he is MUCH better looking in person. He's also really nice. I've been listening to the guy for years on KROQ, plus played hours and hours of Need for Speed with his voice in the background, so I have a soft spot for the guy.
13 of 16 | Posted by purplex15 | Posted on July 6, 2009 6:56 PM
I read the VH1 interview with 3Bay after she left. Y ou are exactly right too! She is angling after one of the Dean spots on future Charm School seasons. She said she doesn't want to do reality, but more actual acting. Yeah, being one of the deans is sooo much better. Anyway, she also said the money didn't matter to her. According to her, after taxes what she would end up with is waaayyy less than what's in her bank account! Being an loud mouth, out-of-work wanna-be actress must pay great these days!! Or she's a liar. Yeah_ I'm goin with that.
14 of 16 | Posted by Brattygrl | Posted on July 6, 2009 8:49 PM
Pottymouth-- I fell asleep TWICE watching this episode. Didn't actually make it all the way through until I watched it on my computer while doing the recap and grabbing stills. Yeah, it was that boring.
Pixielated-- Loki has already earned his name, and that is how he got it. My roommate wanted to name him Chairman Meow, but I put my foot down on that one. Something about people who name their cats with cat puns makes me want to punch them in the throat. Our other cat is named Dante (after the Divine Trilogy) and it was pointed out to me that both our cats are inadvertantly named after Kevin Smith characters. Haha, whoops. Oh well, I like Kevin Smith.
Purplex-- I have no hate for Stryker. I actually like him on Loveline and stuff... I just didn't see him as hot. More like little brother cute.
Brattygrl-- Let's see, after taxes the price money would be roughly 60k. If that bitch has more than 60k in her bank account then I'd like to know what the hell she's doing in the ghetto having to pack heat.
15 of 16 | Posted by themiki | Posted on July 7, 2009 6:12 AM
@ Brenda Walsh,
3bay was an effin bitch on her "love" show. Just like at the beginning of Charm School when she got in Bubbles face for no reason. She was Kiki only more annoying because she was the "educated" one on her show.
All of 3bay's interviews were so ridiculous. She sounded like she was giving up a kidney to save a life. And her biggest fan? Herself.
BTW, my niece named her kitty Mittens but Bruce would have been better since he springs out of nowhere like a little ninja with his paws posed like a tiny furry karate kid
16 of 16 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on July 7, 2009 8:32 AM