April chastises the ladies for not listing off themselves as a reason to get back up, and then hands each girl a mirror. She tells the girls to, one at a time, look in the mirror and tell her what they see. I have five bucks that says Brittanya is going to be really really confused and most likely give a physical description of herself. Any takers?
Risky goes first and says she's a very caring person but she needs to learn to open up more. Brittanya is next. Brace your braincells everyone. You're about to lose a couple of them just for watching this (or reading about it). First she says she looks like crap, and then she asks if she's supposed to describe herself. I wonder how often her young child has to explain his homework to her when she tries to help out.
After a solid thirty seconds of Brittanya giggling and going, "uhh... ummm... I don't know... Uhh..." Bubbles chimes in and tells her that she's a very caring person and she has a lot of potential to do good. Honey, when Bubbles is saving your ass on a class assignment, it may be time to resign yourself to dancing around with your top off as your only viable career option. If that's too difficult for you then I recommend moving to New Jersey and becoming a housewife...
Kip goes next and admits that she's a bitch. Bubbles interrupts and says that she sees a person that needs to love themself more. Kip is not amused.
Bubbles takes her turn and gets really into it, shouting at her reflection about not letting other people bring her down. April is impressed, but I think there's a chance that Bubbles thinks there's a real person who looks exactly like her trapped in the mirror. Marcia mostly shakes and almost cries, but April gives her props as well. God I wish classes were this easy in real life. Can I trade out O-chem for Charm School 101 and still graduate? I would way rather talk to myself in a mirror any day.
April reminds them all to love themselves, and class is adjourned. Stryker tells the ladies that later they'll be doing some work to raise money to buy books and games for underprivileged kids. Someone should take a few of those books and give them to Brittanya, but if they don't have pictures she'll never be able to sound out the words.
Back in the dorms Bubbles is going on and on about the lesson and wants everyone to talk about what they learned.
Bubbles reminds us all that when we love ourselves it helps us be more secure in ourselves. I know I try and love myself at least twice a day, and while I'm not sure what it does for my security, it certainly makes me much less stressed out. Risky says that Bubbles thinks she knows everything, and so clearly she doesn't need to be there.
Ricki sends everyone to their lockers to get in uniform for their next task. They find some cowboy hats and other assorted western wear, and Bubbles guesses that maybe they're going to go on a hayride. And she's not even the dumbest one in the house, which frightens me.
The girls get suited up and take the short bus to The Saddle Ranch Chop House. Okay, so I will admit that I'm not all that well traveled, but what the fuck is a chop house? Where I'm from (aka the ghetto) that would be a place where stolen cars go to get magically transformed into completely legal car parts that fell off the back of a truck. This place just kind of looks like a western bar/eatery though.
Stryker and Ricki tell the ladies that they will be collecting sponsors to give them money based on how many seconds they can stay on a mechanical bull. On the plus side, they're letting them keep their tops on. On the negative side, they're making them ride a mechanical bull. How is this helping to make them charming? I mean, I get that it's for charity, but if someone offered to donate ten grand to Hands Across America if you would take part in a midget gang-bang, that wouldn't make it any less skanky. Whatever happened to walking for charity?
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Comments (12)
It's not your fault, Mik, the recaps are great and spot on. It's just that this show sucks so sorrily.
I'm fed up with Kip, she's just not funny at all. And there's nothing cool at all about her. She needs to disappear into oblivion. And then get dredged up 10 years from now when she's all wrinkled and 100 pounds overweight for a 'Where are they now' special.
1 of 12 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 14, 2009 12:17 AM
Bubbles was the Chrissy Snow of Charm School and much preferable over Kip any day of the week.
will you be recapping Megan fucks a millionaire?
2 of 12 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 14, 2009 7:40 AM
I don't know what I'm recapping after Charm School. I just told Flipit that I preferred a reality TV trainwreck of some sort. There's no way I'm doing Real Chance At Love 2, but everything else is fair game.
3 of 12 | Posted by themiki | Posted on July 14, 2009 9:08 AM
As someone who is living with Asperger's Syndrome, I am pissed that Kip got away with calling Bubbles retarded. I realize that the producers probably had some influence, but isn't this show about growth? I can't wait to see Ricki's reaction to all this at the reunion.
4 of 12 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 14, 2009 9:52 AM
TV Freak, Ricki will probably do her fake concern as she normally does... the fake concern she honed so well after hosting her talk show for all those years.
Also, was Heather from ANTM Cycle 9 a good representation of someone with Asperger's?
5 of 12 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 14, 2009 10:01 AM
Thanks a lot, themiki - that picture of the speculum caused a flare up of my PTSD. At least I think that's what's flared up.....
I decided last week not to watch this show anymore since I kept falling asleep anyway - besides, your recaps are funnier and more entertaining than this show could ever HOPE to be.
SWAK, PottyMouth
6 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 14, 2009 10:02 AM
slutty_whore, Heather from ANTM had Asperger's, but she was obviously very high functioning. Good in a paint-it-in-a-nice-light way, but probably not the most realistic. (Which, for the record, I have AS too. And am named Heather. And am not as pretty, dammit.)
I never picked up any hint of any autism spectrum disorder from Bubbles though. She seems a bit clueless, yeah. She was my favorite girl there though; I'll take sweet and stupid over snarky and stupid any day. Maybe not over snarky and smart, but that's not really an issue here.
Love the recap, as always.
7 of 12 | Posted by Hadhas | Posted on July 14, 2009 2:29 PM
This recap was hilarious. Way to take shit and spin it into sugar, TheMiki.
Also-- before you say no to RCOL, remember that Bubbles came from that show. Just sayin'. So did MILF, but I don't think she was on this show? I can't remember the beginning anymore... it seems like this show has been on since my boobs were still perky.
(P.S. I actually watched last season of RCOL and found it to be pretty funny- it's better than this crap, that's for sure.)
P.S.S. Ricki's fake crying and general insincerity is really getting on my nerves.
8 of 12 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on July 14, 2009 5:42 PM
Awesome recap themiki, when the motivational speaker said "her leg fell off, all I could think was "oh they got Mrs. Potato Head to come in and talk, cool." And give the skanks, err girls credit, she made it all the way through her talk without whipping out the angry eyes.
Awesome job recapping, you really making something out of nothing here.
9 of 12 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on July 15, 2009 12:25 AM
Awwww...Shucks. Thanks for the kind words everyone. I'll put aside my snarky cynicism for just a moment and say that reading your comments really makes all the crappy reality TV watching worth it.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled sarcasm.
10 of 12 | Posted by themiki | Posted on July 15, 2009 1:39 AM
Slutty, I have not met many people with asperger's syndrome tbh. I'll take Hadhas's word for it. I had always assumed she was a good representation, but only because she was about the same level as the only other person I've met that has been diagnosed. I'd say that I was about the same level as Heather when I was first diagnosed, but now I am at a much higher level than I was. Most people can't even tell that I have it.
11 of 12 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 15, 2009 4:54 AM
Maria was the "former model" from Wisconsin who suddenly was rushed to the hospital early on in the season of Whore Bus.
12 of 12 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on July 15, 2009 1:39 PM