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Kip shocks us all with the confession that she's done topless bull-riding. I for one am absolutely taken aback. She seems like such a classy girl.

Stryker says the ladies will have thirty minutes to collect as many donations as possible, and the patrons can donate either one dollar, three dollars, or five dollars per second they stay on the bull. He tries to tie it into a lesson by saying they'll need to be charming to collect donations, but I think by charming he means slutty and flirtatious. Whoever raises the most money will safe from expulsion.

So they let the customers in, and the girls all go off to try and earn money. Risky talks about the charity and how it helps kids, Bubbles kind of hides in the corner, Kip kisses creepy old guys, Brittanya sits in a lot of sketchy laps, and Marcia talks about being an alcoholic. Let's see how these different game plans pan out.

Stryker calls the two minute warning, and Bubbles changes tactics from sad little puppy to obnoxious yelling drunk girl. It seems to work out okay, but with only two minute of effective money collecting I think she's probably screwed.

Stryker calls time and the ladies bring their donations up to be counted. Risky is up first, and she managed to collect $120 dollars per second she can stay on. Let's see if the power of pulling on people's heartstrings is any match for the power of shoving your triple d-cups in someone's face. Before we hear how much the other ladies collected Risky has to stay on the bull for as long as possible.

She lasts ten seconds, which means she earned $1,200. VH1 is much more generous when they're giving away other people's money.

Bubbles is up next, and she pulled in a measly $39 per second. Just in case you guys ever need to collect money for charity and/or to pay for a crippling meth addiction, please keep in mind that hiding in the corner is a highly ineffectual way to bring in the dough.

Bubbles manages to stay on for 22 seconds before the bull clocks her one in the face and she falls off. Impressive time, but multiply that with her paltry earnings and she's only raised $858. Lame.

Kip is up next and she's managed to pull in $139 per second. The power of boobs and sluttiness really isn't anything to fuck with. Too bad neither will help keep her on the bull. I think the boobs might actually be a hindrance where balance is concerned.

Kip does a killer backflip to faceplant dismount, and says if she still had a uterus she would feel like it was about to fall out. Insert your own joke here. She did manage to stay on for ten seconds though, which puts her in the lead with $1,390.

Brittanya is up next, and her sparkling conversational skills (see: boobs) have earned her $124 per second. Let's see how she does against the bull.

The bull makes one rotation without even bucking and Brittanya hits the ground. It's a good thing she's pretty because she has absolutely nothing else to fall back on. She stayed on for three whole seconds, which earned $372 for charity. Kip is still in the lead, with one more skank left to go.

Marcia pulled in $120 per second, so I guess the lesson here is that there's money in sob stories, but there's slightly more money in really big tits. Marcia hops on the bull and has a decent run while making highly inappropriate sex noises. It's mildly creepy, but she stays on for fifteen seconds, which means she's the winner with $1,800.

After the bull-riding the girls all sit down to dinner at The Saddle Ranch. Kip is drunk and yelling about cheeseburgers. Watch out, honey. Remember what happened last time a pseudo-celebrity got drunk and had a cheeseburger?

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Posted in Charm School by TheMiki at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Last Comment: rubinia on Jul 15, 2009 01:39 PM.