Then the editors make a fun little montage of all the uglies saying all these things about their ex boyfriends. Awesome! Good to know they've retained no knowlege even without the numbing effects of booze.
Lacey, ever the charmer, tells John Mr. Businessman that she has "other peircings, but the hair is so overgrown you can't actually see it." GROSS. Come on, do I even have to make fun of that?
For the love of Sharon, I will still poke fun.
Brandi M. is really giving this bullshit a go, though- she's confident even though she looks a lot like a garden gnome.
And I smell like wet soil and peat moss!
Brandi M. hated John, but Brandi C. loved him. Telling, isn't it? Kristie Jo woos Charlie with questions like, Why are you single?" and "giggle giggle (burp) giggle giggle."
Giggle giggle...I made a stinky in my fat suit...giggle giggle...
So, then the debacle that was speed dating is finally over, and the girls line their ugly selves up for some results! Brandi C. gets doted on by John the business asshole, while evil Lacey seemed, to Charlie, to be "ingenuine." Wow, he should be a scientist of personality. what do that call that? A sociologilogicalpsychologilololologist? I'm so smart.
The favorites of the bachelors, though, were Brandi M, by both the opinion of Charlie and John (ha, even though she hated him and Brand C acted like a douche...nice job, Brandi M!), and Destiney was picked by Ace. As the prize, Brandi M is ineligible for expulsion and she also gets to hang out with the guys as her normal self in a club. Meh, I guess that's a sort of okay prize...I'd rather get, I dunno, a pony. Or a thai masseuse. She gets to pick one friend to come with her, and she picks Destiney, which is fortunate, because I LOVE seeing heather wear her dykeiform.
Oh, and the other girls get to be clubbin,' too- only they get to go in their ugly outfits in the Charm Schoolbus! Wohoo!
naturally, we're thrilled.
Heather looks like she just got evicted from her trailer.
Or, like someone just kicked her in her nuts.
The natural reaction for the loosers is actually just to suck it up, get ungodly hammered and make for the club in their ugly suits. Yeah- now that's what I'm talkin' about. All the douchey Hollywood club-goers stare at the girls as they come in, and Brandi C. makes no attempt to hide her douche-lust for John.
Hey, you're skanky. My penis is baby-sized. Wanna make out?
Now, I'm only a genius on the weekends, but I'm gonna bet that she wants to make out.
Don't even try to act too cool for Brandi C, John.
I love love love how he makes a "I'm too good for this" face, but still decides to get all up in skanktown. That's like going to old country buffet and only eating the soft serve- It JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Too good for the broad you just bought two shots of petron for? Whatevs!
All the ugly-mades are all cowering in their ugly suits whilest Brandi C. puts the moves on John and what? What's evil Lacey up to? Doing math homework? Riding a Llama? Shucking peas?
Math homework! I knew it.
The brilliant Lacey decides to show the whole bar her crotch cottons. What? Was that even part of the makeover? It doesn't even seem...relevant. I like to think she keeps a cotton reserve down their for emergencies, like to clean out earwax and take off nail polish. So, what's the most logical thing to do once you've shown the greater Los Angeles area your nasty cotton ass?
That's right. Make some weird black guy sniff it.
Smells like infection.
The next logical step? Eat some.
Tastes like infection.
Wanna know what else tastes like infection? Brandi C.'s face. God, her skin looks like the face of the moon. And, she also looks like she just had a crashing orgasm. Is he fingering her? Is he using his two degrees to do so? These are all questions that I demand to be answered.
Brandi C: dreaming of Clearasil?
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Comments (5)
This show has become a sitcom parody of a reality show. Maybe it's because of the recurring cast of characters -- some of these girls have been on three shows this year already, something like that?
So they've all become fictional, and as in all fiction, it doesn't really matter what happens to any of them. Who stays, who goes, pff! They might as well spit on each other.
And yeah, some of those tattoos are really nasty. Like this pubic hair tattoo trend --don't these women realize that after the third kid, their abdominals will be exploded, their bellies are going to sag down to their knees, taking those tattoos with them? Ick.
And what's with this Riki guy and his arms? I mean, was this his (futile) attempt to somehow appear to be cool? Is he really going to look at that mess in 20 years and be pleased with himself?
Ick. Ick. Ick. That's my mantra while watching this show. Which of course I watch. Of course.
1 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on December 2, 2008 10:25 PM
Itchy, I think it's about 20 years too late for Rikki to worry about his future.
2 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on December 3, 2008 5:08 AM
Of course I watch too. Isn't this train wreck a total and complete guilty pleasure?
3 of 5 | Posted by Clair | Posted on December 3, 2008 8:50 AM
Clair, I would agree with you, if Megan were still there... ever since she left (WAY too SOON!), the show has just been complete dullsville... unlike FOL Charm School, with each episode escalating to a most brilliant smack down of Bootz.
4 of 5 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on December 3, 2008 11:29 AM
If you love watching skanks in action, check out Rehab:Party at the Hard Rock, on Tru TV, Tuesdays 10p. I'm guessing this show won't be recapped because it is "actuality" and not "reality"? Anyway, it's fun to see these train wrecks in their natural habitat.
Brandi M. for the win!
5 of 5 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on December 3, 2008 11:56 AM