Previously on Charm School: Soho threw a conniption fit and left, Farrah couldn't handle Soho's fit so she's left, Risky played The Race Card, and then no one got eliminated, which came as a huge shock to all us loyal viewers. Welcome back to Charm School, where the only thing classier than the students is pretty much everyone else on the cast and crew.
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Sorry for the lateness of this recap. I had a really busy week of drinking and work and drinking and going to concerts and... Okay, mostly drinking. Maybe I should try and get on this show, where the liquor's free and the girls are all dumb and slutty. Meh... Onto the recap!
Inside Chateu De Charm, Porno is talking about how she just doesn't fit in there, and says that where she's from everybody loves her.
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Marcia is drinking (I know, I know, it's shocking) in the hot-tub. Bubbles asks her if she has an extra wine glass and Marcia checks her hoo-hoo.

Bubbles decides it's time for a dunk in the pool and she asks the other ladies to join her. Marcia says she's coming in, and then proceeds to remove her bathing suit so she can jump in naked. Bubbles says she doesn't mind, but she doesn't want to swim to close to her. That's a good call there Bubbles. SuperHerpes may be able to swim.
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So after an incredibly charming evening full of class and social graces the ladies are sent to their lockers to get the supplies for their next challenge. Hey, it's gym clothes! Very exciting VH1. Thanks for keeping us all on the edge of our seat. Bubbles gets very excited and starts dancing around like an epileptic 8th grader at the Spring Fling.

Kip compares Bubbles to a five year old, and I think that may offend some five year olds.

Stryker calls the ladies down for their lesson, and today's commandment is "Thou Shalt Treat Thy Body as a Temple."

Enter one Dr. Shapiro. He's here to tell the ladies how incredibly fucked up they are on the inside, and for once we're not talking about their shallow personalities or complete lack of moral fiber. No, we're going to learn about what physical damage they've done to their insides. Their souls will have to wait for the next lesson. He asks how many of them drink, and pretty much everyone raises their hand. He asks Marcia how many drinks she has in a day, and after some stalling and deflecting we learn that Marcia has ten shots of tequila a day. I think she's full of crap. Bitch drinks way more than that.

The good doc starts explaining the downfalls of liver failure, and Marcia says it makes her want a drink. I hear ya hon. Every time I see a Truth commercial I have to step outside for a cigarette. Oh, and by the way, this highly educated doctor also informs us that smoking and fast food are bad. Thank god for these doctors with all their fancy book learnin cause I had absolutely no idea. If huffing glue is bad for you too I'm screwed. But lucky for me the lesson is over with no mention of inhaling model airplane glue, and surprisingly no lecture on STD's. Seriously? I really think that Syphilis is gonna take these ladies out way quicker than cirrhosis.


So the doc calls the ladies down and makes them do some push-ups. Kip does horribly and blames the weight of her enormous boobs. I'm sure they way a lot, but doesn't the fact that touching your chest to the floor only requires about two inches of movement kinda balance that out?

Porn does the splits and I throw up in my mouth a little, and then Stryker tells them it's time to pass on their new knowledge to others.

The ladies hop on the short bus and pull into The YMCA. Kip sees the building and says she hopes they don't have to teach aerobics to homeless people.
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Comments (11)
Ah yes, Friday nights were our 'late night'...and man I so wanted to be cool like Danny Bonaduce...
I loved how the loudmouth girl eavesdrops from down the halls and then starts yelling and wagging her finger even though the Porn lady said nothing at all about her. What a camera whore. Or an idiot.
And what's with all those fat "buff bodies"? Are these kids just starting the program? Because if they are, they've probably been scared off exercise for the rest of their lives. And if they've been doing this for a while, then it's just another stupid ineffectual organization, probably sponsored by McDonalds and Nintendo.
1 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 8, 2009 12:17 AM
Oh, I used to watch Fear!! You know, MTV really should have done it this way in the first place... drunk, crazy strippers in scary places!!! Probably would've lasted longer!
2 of 11 | Posted by brattygrl | Posted on June 8, 2009 1:28 AM
I got the Jan Brady reference, but Porn is WAY creepier than Jan could have even imagined. And the scariest thing about the Porn elimination is that she said that now she is going to go have a baby. That woman really should NOT be in charge of another human being.
Thanks for another great recap!
3 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on June 8, 2009 1:46 AM
OMG - the George Glass reference was AWESOME. I love it!
TheMiki, I am loving these recaps. You crack me up.
SWAK, PottyMouth
4 of 11 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on June 8, 2009 8:05 AM
next time just post more pictures of hugh jackman. That is one hot man!
5 of 11 | Posted by yeknom | Posted on June 8, 2009 8:18 AM
I second the Hugh Jackman request. :)
6 of 11 | Posted by Clair | Posted on June 8, 2009 9:47 AM
Itchy: Fat kids are an epidemic, but now they probably have the clap on top of it, and that's just rough.
Brattygirl: I concur. Someone call MTV and make it happen!
Everyone old enough to get a Brady Bunch joke: I love you a lot
Yeknom and Clair: I am SO not into guys, but I posted the Hugh as a gift for my inappropriate child labor joke. Unless someone else starts posting pics of a barely dressed Eliza Dushku then you won't be seeing him again... Sorry. I think I'm the only lesbian in the whole of the Gasmii.
7 of 11 | Posted by themiki | Posted on June 8, 2009 10:42 AM
2 things, i LOVE eliza dushku, and as a straight female, would take her in a second over hugh jackman.
i also watched fear.
you're probably my favorite recapper on this site (besides flipit of course). keep up the good work.
8 of 11 | Posted by purplex15 | Posted on June 8, 2009 3:01 PM
That's okay, Mik, 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm the only straight male in these parts.
9 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 9, 2009 2:03 PM
George Glass AND topless Hugh?? LOVE!!
10 of 11 | Posted by callie2raccoon0 | Posted on June 10, 2009 2:26 PM
Wow, Bret Michaels used to be hot. Very pretty. No Hugh Jackman, maybe, but who is?
If y'all recapped Dollhouse, you'd get those pics of Eliza, mik.
11 of 11 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 11, 2009 7:03 PM