When Flipit sent out the call for Christmasgasms this year I thought it might be fun to take my very first recap and put some spit and polish on it! What better way to cap off my first year at the 'gasm? This is A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa. I hope you enjoy it!
Did you ever wait until the last possible minute to write your letter to Santa? Did that story end with you getting nothing in your stocking Christmas morning?
Give me some presents you Fat Fuck!
Don't worry, this is not THAT story. This story happens in the magical world of New York City where Muppets can be your next door neighbors, spontaneous singing is mandatory, and procrastination is rewarded.
After the opening credits we get shots of Radio City Music Hall and ice skating at Rockefeller Center, because really, how else would you know you're in NYC? Oh and we get the obligatory shot of the Christmas tree - woo!!
From there we head on over to the post office where there's a very long line of all the losers that wait until the last minute to mail their cards and presents.
You know, two weeks ago there wasn't any line.
Hey!! Guess what? If you mail the present on Christmas Eve it's not getting there on time, dumbasses!! How about you get your butt out of the house a couple weeks earlier to buy and mail your gifts?? UGH.
Our Muppet friends are patiently waiting in line with freaking STACKS of letters to be mailed.
Here we find out that for the first time ever, the Muppets will be spending the holidays apart. Apparently Piggy and Kermie are going to the Caribbean, but first they have to mail their letters, because in alter verse NY there aren't mailboxes on every freaking street corner.
And these are only the ones in the 10011 zip code!!!
Piggy is ready to lose it because the line is not moving. And here's the first surprise cameo of the evening.
Uh, keep your day job Mayor Bloomberg.
He gives some lame joke about New Yorkers being polite, and everyone watching in the NY area says: Fuck THAT, Jackass. Piggy's not buying it either, and her rudeness gives Kermie the excuse he is waiting for to break out the first song of the evening.
The gang sings their way into the post office. Um. I don't think the writers have ever actually visited the post office. The people that work at mine don't look anything like these pretty people. Oooh look! Sweetums!
Jesse L. Martin, sometime cop and drag queen lover, beckons us to the back room of the post office and Holy Shit. I now know why my letters take so long to get to their destinations. It's a freaking Broadway show back there.
Hey Jesse! This isn't Rent for Chrissake, it's the Post Office. More sorting, please, less twirling. Pepe the Prawn reads my mind: "What kind of Post Office ees thees?"
And we're not done yet. Apparently anyone that makes it to the backroom is allowed to help sort the mail. Hey, mom? The chickens ate your card. Sorry.
Gonzo's got some letter that needs to go to Santa, and Pepe and Rizzo let us know that they do NOT believe. Kermit ignores this and goes back to singing.
Piggy's drugs are starting to wear off. She is over this crap and wants to move it along so she can get to the beach already.
Moi work? I don't THINK so!
Gonzo decides to help. He sees a machine labeled: "Don't even think of touching this." So, duh, he cranks it up. Which is exactly what I would do.
Why do they have a speed call Too Fast?? Isn't that just begging for trouble?
Of course everything goes crazy, or as Kermie says "Postal". Heh. Or Neh. The post office does not like it when you make them stop dancing, so they kick the Muppets out by delivering them to their house in a mailbag.
Stadler and Waldorf!! Yay! Instead of being on their normal balcony, they are hanging out the front window like a couple of old ladies from Brooklyn.
We'll hang out in our window and make fun of you so we don't think about how pathetic our own lives are! HA HA HA HA!
Inside we meet the adorable little girl Claire, plot device and neighbor. The letter Gonzo mailed was her letter to Santa. Claire, why are you sending your letter to Santa on Christmas Eve? Maybe the elves were hoping to get off work early tonight. Thanks for making them have to work late, Claire!! Enjoy the coal!
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Comments (2)
Knew you'd get Hugh in there somewhere PM! Happy Holidays!
1 of 2 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on December 24, 2009 10:16 AM
Hugh with a big, red bow! There is a Santa Claus! Happy holidays, Potty!
2 of 2 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on December 24, 2009 10:48 AM