It's that time of year again. The time when we gather with family and friends, drink spiked eggnog and watch 4,000 Christmas specials staring Rudolph. Will our hero save the day in Rudolph's Shiny New Year? What will we learn about Santa and his crew? Find out after the jump!
It's Christmas night, and Santa has just had a hard nights work. He's relaxing by the fire - feet up, drink in hand and thinking about how he just made a lot of children happy with a new toy, and some real pissed with a piece of coal. I always feared the coal when I was a kid. But luckily, I always escaped it. One of his cronies is standing there, just staring at him, holding a note.
Was that a note in your hand or were you just happy to see me?
The note is from Father Time and he says that Happy, The New Year's Baby, is missing! Oh crap. Santa decides that there is only one person who can save the day by searching all over for the baby - and it isn't gonna be him. He's gonna pimp out Rudolph of course! I mean, I would send a baby reindeer to do my dirty work too if I could. Especially after he just pulled an all-nighter by flying around the world at warp speed.
Santa tells Rudolph that the happiness of all the worlds' children relies on him. And he has six days to find the baby or it would be December 31st FOREVER. Paaaaaarty! No pressure Rudie.
Rudolph starts off on his journey, across the Sands of Time to find Father Time. With him is General Ticker, who works for Father Time and they meet a camel, named The Great Quarter Past Five. Seriously? We get it, Father. You love clocks. Quart is going to help them to the castle so Rudolph and General Ticker mount him.
Bow, chika, wow wow.
Out of nowhere, Eon, a giant ass bird, is coming straight for them. Quart tells them that when Eon turns one eon old on January 1st his time is up and he'll turn to ice and snow. I'm not sure why, but regardless he wants to stop the aging process, as we all do. So what better way to do that than kidnap a baby and make it December 31st FOREVER?! Muahahaha. Side note - I've officially decided that the creators were on something when they thought this up.
Exhibit A.
Exhibit B.
At the castle we see Father Time who has a random patch of red hair on the top of his head. He comments that everyone used to call him Redhead. I guess they weren't too original in 1856. Rudolph doesn't care about his former nickname and neither do I.
Father Ginger gives Rudie the low down. Happy lives in an orphanage and his nurse is named Nanny Nine O'clock. And she has red/orange hair. And a crazy Irish accent. Ahhh, the good old days when the Irish migrated to the North Pole.
Happy has giant ears and buckteeth. Naturally, everyone laughs at him because what's funnier than a deformed baby? Not much to these people. Nanny Carrot Top gets in on the teasing and that's the last tick tock for Happy. He gets all sensitive and decides it's time to peace out. Isn't it Nanny Carrot Top's job to keep an eye on the kid? And NOT give him a complex about his giant ears? I bet her and Father Ginger have something going on. We all know that ginger's stick together.
What's everybody laughing at?
According to Father Ginger, Happy always wanted to see the Archipelago Islands. ( The what?? ) Not a destination I would have as a baby but whatever. He told Nanny Carrot Top about his future travel plans, because he can talk and all. He's not a BABY or anything. Nanny Carrot Top probably made it up to get rid of Happy so she could have Father Ginger all to herself. Sly biotch.
The Archipelago Islands are located way far north and represent the lost years. And when a year is over, they go to an island to retire, and live the year over and over. I don't know about you but usually I'm pretty damn excited for a new year so I can start all over with a clean slate. No more late night snacks, or excessive drinking or making fun of people... wait. Who am I kidding?
« Merry Christmas From VH1! | | Holiday in Handcuffs: Christmas Necessities: Family Dinner, Present Exchange, and Drunk Grandmothers »
Comments (7)
Wow! I don't think I've seen this movie in ages. And now I want to go back and watch it. Cartoon reindeer are cute shut up.
BB saying 'Don't you ever knock?' was so wrong, and I liked it. Ah, get famous, and your career goes down the toilet. Next thing you know, Ruddie's gonna end up shot. Probably by Geico. 'THEY CANCELLED MY SHOW AND NOT YOURS??'
1 of 7 | Posted by trey | Posted on December 26, 2007 11:25 AM
This is hilarious! I am the only person at my work today because the holidays and am so thankful for all these recaps to keep me entertained. I love the bit about Rudie's dad not respecting diversity!
2 of 7 | Posted by jellybean | Posted on December 28, 2007 7:59 AM
I love christmas shows but you were right by saying that whoever wrote that story line must have been on something. Reading your recap made up for the torture. To funny!
3 of 7 | Posted by deez | Posted on January 2, 2008 11:16 AM
This is too funny! You were right by saying that whoever wrote this story line was on something. It was more like an hour of torture, but I will say your recap made up for that :)
4 of 7 | Posted by deez | Posted on January 2, 2008 11:22 AM
Why is Santa such a complete asshole in these specials?
5 of 7 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on January 2, 2008 12:31 PM
This shit is so funny. I am curious to know when the first airing date was of this cartoon? Like 1950? This is kanthony by the way, well done chickas. I have never seen this cartoon, I have seen Frosty, but this is so out there, drugs were involved in the making of this one. FO SHO! I want you guys to do a recap of the Real World, i think you guys were made to do this. Rach was the clock like the one that Flava Flav wore in the Flavor of love. haha FLAVA FLAV!
6 of 7 | Posted by Kanthonyo | Posted on January 4, 2008 2:04 PM
7 of 7 | Posted by ubiquitous | Posted on January 7, 2008 8:50 AM