Welcome to week 4 of "Confessions of a Teen Idol". This show is like an Irish funeral, some of the people are sad, everyone needs a stiff drink and sooner or later someone will pee. I've titled this episode "Urinetown".
This show has more pee in it than a port-a-potty at a Green Bay Packer game.
This week we have an episode with not one but two call sheets and two tasks. This means our idols will have two chances to make fools of themselves instead of just one and probably two beat downs if they don't perform their tasks with enthusiam.
This week we delve into the murky depths of Eric (The Big Pooh) Nies. Aren't we all scared to see what falls out? or should I say, dribbles out?
Eric is taking a shower and he calls to Jeremy and offers to let him in on one of his health secrets. Eric says "remember when you asked why my hair is so shiny?" Jeremy nods. Then Eric holds up a glass of something. Could it be? Is it a beer? No, it's not beer but it is yellow. Oh no. It's not.
Yes, it's Eric's pee.
I really wish I hadn't been eating dinner while writing this recap. Eric shows Jeremy a glass of his urine and pours it over his head. That's why his hair is so shiny. He pours pee on his hair and leaves it for 3-4 hours then rinses it out.
Bottoms up Eric!! Good for you!!! Now we know that there is nothing you won't do for fame.
He says that in ancient times people used urine therapy to cure a variety of ailments. Some even drank their own pee. Eric says he has more secrets but they are not for everybody. Jeremy asks him if the other secrets have to do with poop, he says no. Thank heaven for small favors eh Jeremy?
I can't believe I looked this up, but I did and Eric is correct. Urine can also be used to whiten teeth. I'll just stick with Crest if you don't mind.
You know there were a lot of things that people did in the past to cure ailments. And there is a reason that we don't do them anymore. I'm just saying that perhaps urine therapy has run its course. Maybe it's usefulness has petered out. OK, OK, I'll stop. Besides urine therapy is probably just a trickle of what it was in the past.
All I could think about was that person that did his hair when they had the makeover. When Eric said he didn't use shampoo very often, it never occurred to me that he replaced his shampoo with urine.
What would you say to someone who poured his pee on his head? Something along the lines of "Dude, I don't want to borrow your hat, ever."
So back to Earth, David is back on his laptop and decides to Google all seven of the idols. He starts with Jeremy since he's the youngest.
All of a sudden, David asks Jeremy, "Do you have a sex tape? Don't you know everyone will see it?" Jeremy knows that everyone will see it, that is the idea David.
Most celebrities know that if they make a sex tape, sooner or later someone will see it. With any kind of luck, everyone will see it.
Jeremy explains he wasn't going to sell it, but that he thought he would watch it and maybe he would show it to some of his friends. He could have The Hoff over for dinner and a movie some night.
How drunk do you have to be to share your sex tapes with your friends?
Then Jeremy asks the guys if they have "My Space" pages. I think he did this to get the guys off the sex tape subject. Adrian says no and he doesn't want one. So Jeremy invites Adrian to look at his My Space page.
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Comments (10)
I haven't seen the episode yet, so I feel like I missed something big. Where was Chris? I don't think he was mentioned once in the recap.
1 of 10 | Posted by natural redhead | Posted on January 31, 2009 6:29 AM
Great recap as always Annie. Something about Eric bothered me this week. Okay, lots of things about Eric bother me every week, and that was before I found out he was recycling his bodily fluids (The last couple of weeks I've been calling him E-Poo, but I'm now shortening that to just EP, because he seems to have covered every disgusting thing you can do with that letter). Anyway, how did EP get his smelly mitts on a machete? I came up with three possible ways this could have come about and none of them gave me a case of the warm fuzzies.
Either, (a), Eric brought a machete from home. Hmmm scary homeless looking guy brings machete to long term sleep over? Nope, you never see that happening in a horror movie.
(C), There was a machete at the house just in case any of the cast felt a need to open coconuts, or chop stuff up. Hmmmm, my creep factor still isn't going down.
(2 1/2), A PA went out and got EP a machete before he headed out to meet the press. This on the face of things sounds terrifing, but then again if EP didn't get a little fresh coconut milk, he might have felt the need to have a refreshing quaff of his favorite thirst. quencher. Still dicey, but I can almost see the logic behind this one, although, my gut reaction is that I wouldn't let EP wander across the room with safety scissors.
Once again Annie, thanks for giving me a good laugh and please keep them coming.
2 of 10 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on January 31, 2009 10:24 AM
Can you imagine living with a guy who walks around with pee in his hair for 3 to 4 hours? It must smell like a third rate nursing home in that place. I missed the first 15 minutes of the show (and gosh they never replay their shows so I could never see it ever again) so I was also wondering where Chris was this week? Hopefully out on an acting job?
3 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on January 31, 2009 10:28 AM
Dear Natural Red, Waffleboy and wintersux:
I'm sorry I didn't mention Chris this week. He had to go back East for his sister's wedding. He said that family weddings are really important and he wanted to be there for his family.
And Waffleboy, I totally agree with you on EP's machete. Where do you even buy one? If I had a roommate putting urine on his head and wielding a machete, I'd be moving out!!
I've always thought Eric was a little off, but now I'm wondering if there is something darker going on. He better not hurt any of the other guys or he'll have me to deal with and I'll put him in a shower with a big bar of Dial soap and Prell shampoo!!!
Thank you all for your feedback. You guys are great and your input always makes me smile and it also helps me to do better each week.
Writing is therapy for me, I have this little back issue that keeps me laid up 24/7. So writing is a perfect way for me to keep busy and keep my brain from turning to mush.
It's a challenge each week to keep it fresh, especially when one of the main characters smells like a diaper pail!!
Your input makes me feel like we are all in this together and it makes this one of the best experiences I've had since becoming disabled. You have no idea how great this makes me feel.
So all of you, keep the mail coming and I'll try and get better each week and incorporate your ideas into the blogs.
Love and luck to all,
TVannie/AnneM
4 of 10 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on January 31, 2009 4:13 PM
More pee facts(?):
If your pee is yellow you are dehydrated. (It should be clear.) Drink more water.
In an emergency, pee can be used as a disinfectant (mercenaries may pee on gunshot wounds).
Peeing on your toes (preferably in the shower) may prevent/treat athelete's foot.
Drinking pee probably has no health benefits (and it sure isn't going to help your social life).
Drinking pee when you are thirsty (in a survival situation) will probably only make you thirstier.
Glad I could help...
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on January 31, 2009 6:38 PM
TVannie, I loved the Grease 2 reference! Every time I see Adrian on this show I think "We're gonna bop. We're gonna bowl!" It's nice to know I'm in good company. :)
6 of 10 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on January 31, 2009 6:52 PM
Dear TVannie,
You are a hoot. It never fails to amaze me how often pee is used in unexpected ways when packs of heterosexual men are filmed living together on reality TV shows.
I love your recaps,
Hugs,
Yenta
7 of 10 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on February 1, 2009 6:45 AM
Dear Pottymouth and Yenta,
Pottymouth, there are a lot of folks like me and you that like Grease 2. My husband loves Michelle Pfeiffer, so he's on board too. I'll keep up with the old pictures, it makes this recapping business more fun.
Yenta, I don't know what it is about guys and peeing. I've never talked to my friends about it except for asking where the nearest bathroom is located.
I've said it before, I do not understand men and I have no idea what they are going to do or say.
And my dearest Yenta, as far as I'm concerned, you are an absolute doll. I love your recaps and I'm really lucky to blog in such good company.
TVannie/AnneM
8 of 10 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on February 1, 2009 11:08 AM
TVAnnie, you poor thing, a show full of pee is no fun (ask Yenta about Ultimate Fighter, there was a regular golden shower going on over on that show) but you did a good job. I've been in the middle of rescreening all of 90210, and I haven't quite reached the point where Jamie Walters comes in (I'm up to Season 4 and Donna and David are still together) and I'm betting that he's glad he's shaved his head ("Uh, no, thanks Eric, I don't have any hair, therefore pissing on my head will only serve to humiliate me."). Great job, hope you feel better soon.
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Who is our "Natalie/Billy"? I don't get the reference.
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on February 2, 2009 8:23 AM
Dearest J-Mo,
Thank you for feeling my pain. What can you do when all they talk about is pee and Googling?
I just can't imagine how bad Eric would smell on a hot summer day. Can you imagine sharing a room with this guy? I'd be the first volunteer to sleep on the couch, even with my back full of titanium !!
It looks like we have a lot more drama this week. Hopefully we can find something more once the pee has been mopped up.
Hugs,
TVannie
10 of 10 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on February 2, 2009 6:02 PM