We begin this week shortly after last week's emotional desashing ceremony where the Anna Nicole twins were sent home. Ghetto Fatulous is filling the void in her soul with a hearty bowl of Meuslix while Christan lays in bed flipping through the newest issue of "Boobs Weekly." Ada and Christan make a deal to stay positive throughout the rest of the pageant, which Christan says will be easy since so many of her test results at the free clinic come back that way.

Tenia, AKA Babyfat, takes time to bash her mother for not taking the pageant serious so far but Ghetto Fatulous has a point since the show is on the CW. "Have you seen the intro credits for this show? It's ridiculous!" Ghetto Fatulous assures Tenia that she won't let her daughter down unless they are forced to do something athletic outside in pants.

Or if we have to sing. Or pose. Or not be total c**nts to poor people.

Linnea Navratalova comes in to tell the ladies that they get to spend the day outside, I can assume in the yard pumping iron and brushing each other's hair. Linnea instructs the ladies to wear close-toed shoes and pants leading me to believe there will be some kind of feces kicking contest or a camel toe off. Despite her debilitating knee injury, Mindy, AKA Snaggletooth is determined to make it to the final pageant even if she has to drag herself across the floor with her lips.

The "ladies" arrive at a Habitat for Humanity house and are handed over to a bear lover's dreamboat to help build a home for some poor, dirty, yokel of a family. The "ladies" are instructed to landscape the front entrance and build a cinder block wall. Immediately Firecrotch begins whining about how much sod she has to lay down, mostly because being in the sun that long will cause her to not only burn but burst into flames.

Jenileigh, AKA Unitard, Moya, Gina and Hollis all begin working on the cinder block fence and razor wire braiding that is to rest on top of it to keep the poor people in their home after it's built. Unitard states that she's done community service before and her heart is swollen ebullient by being able to give a poor family a place to live since she and her mother are currently homeless. OK we get it.

You better start working on a guest house, honey.

Ghetto Fatulous is schvitzing like a whore in Temple and complaining that she and the heat don't mesh well. Nor do she and Mexicans, Baptists, blonds, people with freckles, Applebees enthusiasts, sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods or weirdos. They all think she's a righteous bitch. Ghetto fatulous mentions that it's so hot that she needs to take her pants off, but the foreman warns her that they're not in the best neighborhood and her backside is likely to get graffiti if left exposed too long.

Hootie McBoob fumbles with the paintbrush at first, wondering why she's supposed to put on her make-up, before realizing she's supposed to paint a wall. While struggling to paint the wall she drops her brush, knocks off her hard hat and grows more and more frustrated with the entire experience. When the fence moves we see that Ghetto Fatulous ignored the foreman's advice and Hootie McBoob exhales in frustration due to wasting a good hour painting Angela's enormous butt.

Meanwhile Mona, Firecrotch, Snaggletooth and Bighead are working to lay the sod. That poor sod. Mona tells the camera that she was upset that she got stuck with Snaggletooth since she is "crippled" and crippled people add nothing to the world (except for the late, great Christopher Reeves. RIP).

BOOO gimps!

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Posted in Crowned by FozzieBare at 2:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: steez on Jan 25, 2008 02:54 PM.