Testimonials

The usual mishigos takes place while the ladies "brain"storm. Ghetto Fatulous tries to sound intelligent but ends up sounding like that Damon Wayans inmate on In Living Color, Bighead puts down every idea her mother has, Firecrotch gets angry when her mother doesn't take things seriously, Gina and Hollis sing "I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You" by Richard Marx, and Hootie dances to her Whitesnake as her mom works diligently.

We see all of the ladies at the mall attempting to deliver their impassioned speeches about their topic, but we don't get the full effect until the desashing ceremony. Let's go there now.

Everyone takes the stage to be judged by a rock star's ex wife, a collagen loving bottom and some chick no one has ever heard of. Up first are Moya and Unitard who take a stance on whether beauty is more than skin deep. Personally I thought they would go with no, but surprisingly they say yes. Unitard says that everyone is beautiful and offers to give anyone in the audience a hug, but everyone declines lest they be crushed like a beer can against her forehead. The judges are kind saying that the pair were perky and engaging. Immediately Hootie McBoob runs out hearing this since that's what she's nicknamed her breasts.

What's your problem with hugs, manly man?

Snaggletooth and Bighead go next taking a stance on whether or not plastic surgery makes someone perfect. Snaggletooth stumbles on her lines in the mall video and Bighead overuses the word "myself" and runs out of time when the buzzer rings announcing a sale at Nine West. Bighead honestly says that she may want to have plastic surgery someday, or at least have some bones removed from her cranium, so she isn't completely against it, but feels strongly that plastic surgery in no way makes anyone perfect. Exhibit A:

Mona and Firecrotch take the stage to show their video on whether or not blondes have more fun. In the video, the duo take the stage wearing their matching Oreo promotional pantsuits and ask the question, "Do blondes have more fun?" in unison before shaking out their day glo orange lockes and asking, "What do you think!?" Firecrotch delivers her lines like a nine-year-old pageant contestant who is told to smile while she talks but can't make it look not creepy. Mona delivers her lines like a creepy looking woman who can't help but look creepy.

Ghetto Fatulous and Babyfat waddle on stage with Tenia wearing a lime green peekaboo dress and Angela's hair looking more feathered than Blaire Warner's. They delivered a speech at the mall regarding whether or not body art is sexy. In the video Angela struggles to recite her lines about bikers and King Tut (?) before Tinea says that Generation X has made body art a sensation. Angela chimes in that there's nothing sexier than seeing a belly button ring but thankfully she doesn't show us hers.

You're showing us enough rings already, girls.

The judges are confused when the video ends because it didn't seem that they argued one way or the other on the subject, rather talked about it and alluded to the fact that one or both of them may be pierced in one or more areas that hopefully only a mortician will have to see someday. The judges state that it was obvious how nervous the ladies were, especially when the crowd started throwing hot garbage at them. When they leave the stage Babyfat chastises her mother for talking too much but Ghetto Fatulous is reticent to believe it, even though the judges just said it. I thought elephants never forgot?

Next up are Gina and Hollis, who have to deliver a speech about whether designer clothes or bargain shopping make the outfit. They state that clothes are a great way to express yourself but with grandchildren, mortgages and monthly hush money to Swank, they simply can't afford designer clothes. Their speech is engaging and casual and the audience seems to appreciate their viewpoint. The judges all give positive feedback, so we can rest assured that the Crowned darlings will be sticking around another week.

Bargain clothes it is!

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Posted in Crowned by FozzieBare at 2:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: steez on Jan 25, 2008 02:54 PM.