TVgasm Recaps

Here's what's going on over at Newsgasm.

• Like OMG! TVgasm lands an exclusive interview with Raquel/"Rocky" from Laguna Beach. [Read More]


• O.J. Simpson tells us how he would have killed his wife, had he actually killed her -- which he didn't. He's just saying. You know, in case he did. But he definitely did not. [Read More]


• We're giving away a General Hospital Luke and Laura prize package in honor of their wondrous re-marriage after twenty-five years. Huzzah! [Read More]


• Jack Black is developing a new VH1 show that looks like a slightly better version of Situation: Comedy and The Reality Show combined. [Read More]


• Oh, and we're having a Jack Black giveaway too. [Read More]


• Ratings! Ratings! Ratings! How did Dancing with the Stars shape up with the 18-49 year olds? [Read More]

Here's what's going on at Newsgasm:

• What happens when Smokey Robinson stops by Days of Our Lives? Lots of shameless, shameless self-promotion. Trust us, it's hilarious. [Watch the video]


• Rocky from Laguna Beach tells us what it was really like when Alex called her a slut. [Watch the video]


• Rachel Ray and a sex scandal? Did it take place in thirty minutes? Or involve E.V.O.O.? [Read More]


• The legal system is so much more entertaining when fights break out! [Watch the video]


• Dancing With The Stars might be facing off against American Idol! Just like it did last season... when it lost. [Read More]


• Mike Tyson wants his own reality show. All I gotta say is: Dancing with the Stars. [Read More]


• Did you watch Daybreak last night? Yeah, me neither. And see who else didn't in the 18-49 demo. [Read More]

Too busy RSVPing to Holiday parties? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• The firestorm over O.J. continues, and in case you want a sneak peak of his interview, we've got the clip! [Watch the Video]


• ABC picks up The Bachelor for tenth season (I guess that includes The Bachelorettes), making it the Most Dramatic Greenlight Ceremony Ever! [Read more]


• As goes Marissa, so go the ratings. The OC hits a new, magnificent low. [Read more]

In case you've been spending the day flinging racial epithets at your local comedy club, here's what's going on at Newsgasm:

• Turns out Kramer is a racist ass! Michael Richards hurls some slurs at hecklers. A lack of comedy ensues. [Watch the video]


• Or rather, the obligatory Michael Richards apology ensues. [Watch the video]


• OJ Simpson's book and special are cancelled. Now we can look forward to the expected "If we were to air this OJ special, this is how we would have done it" Special from Fox. [Read more]


• Stephen Colbert gets a museum! And a gift shop too! Just two more things that won't be in the cards for Michael Richards and OJ. [Read more]


• Happy Feet beats Casino Royale at the weekend box office. However, Casino Royale does manage to track better with people who enjoy genital flogging. [Read more]


• How did your favorite shows stack up this weekend? The latest ratings reveal all... [Read more]

B-side is out of town, so here is your Newsgasm Daily Digest, J-Unit style (slightly darker, always mellow, goes down smooth - or was that Miller Genuine Draft?):

• Ever wonder what would happen if they took the SNL skit "The Girl With No Gaydar" and made into a series? Neither did I, but Endemol USA (Big Brother, Deal or No Deal) did.[Read More]


• Heroes kicks ass. Don't believe me? We've got the ratings from last night to prove it! (and a recap coming soon). [Read More]


• Speaking of Heroes, find out which star was gracing the cover of Time almost twenty years ago. [Read more]

Spent all day recovering from that unfortunate deep-fried turkey accident? Here's what you've missed at Newsgasm:

• The perfect way to spend Thanksgiving with the family: hanging out with an anti-Semite as he pontificates about an ancient civilization! Yay! [Read more]


• NBC plans to adapt Thank You For Smoking for the small screen. No word on whether or not Adam from Survivor will be taking up Aaron Eckhart's role. [Read more]


• TBS puts its "Very Funny" slogan to the test next week with two new shows. [Read more]


• NBC gives 30 Rock a meager three-episode pickup. C'mon NBC. It's actually a funny show. You can do better. [Read more]


• Mr. Burns is only ranks second on Forbes Magazine's 15 Richest Fictional Characters list. Oh, that's rich! Get it? I am on fire today! [Read more]


• I wish I'd been there when whatever advertising exec looked at the Blue Shield account and said, "One word: circumcision." [Watch the video]


• Everyone loves Tony Bennett. Except TV viewers. Check out Tuesday's ratings. [Read more]

Feeling jetlagged like me? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• TV Land releases its list of the top 100 catchphrases, but we think there are some serious omissions. Submit your overlooked favorites... [Read more]


• Get your burlap sacks ready. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock have broken up. No word on what this means for their upcoming Holiday special, A Very Hepatitis Christmas. [Read more]


• Oooh! There's already a Pamerock update! With Borat! [Read more]


• Find out which Amazing Racer may be modeling undies in a Wal-Mart near you... [Read more]


• A Dirt bag item that doesn't involve K-Fed! [Read more]


• A reality show descends on Muncie, IN, which amuses me because it makes me think of my high school nurse, Ms. Muncie. [Read more]


• It's official: America loves penguins. [Read more]


• And of course, Monday's ratings with the added bonus of perhaps the funniest video since our own Mischa Barton montage. [Read more]

Spent all day lighting Christmas trees in Rockefeller Center? Here's what you've missed over at Newsgasm:

• There's a new Bachelor in town, and he's already been caught wearing a Speedo (and touching impoverished children on the cheek)! Don't swoon all at once, ladies. [Watch the video]


• Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List gets a third season pickup. Seriously, it's actually a good show. [Read more]


• It's always sad when an exposé about a log seems more exciting than whatever K-Fed's been up to. [Read more]


• A sad day for Wiggles fans. The Wiggles may be one Wiggle short of full Wiggle capacity; thus inspiring a stage five Wiggle emergency, leaving us all to ponder, "What the hell are The Wiggles?" [Read more]


• Seinfeld: The Lost Episode. Need we say more? [Read more]


• Who knew that Sacha Baron Cohen's pre-Ali G days were so, uh, shiny? [Watch the video]


• Hey Sci-Fi, did I ever tell you you're my hero? Because you're showing Heroes! [Read more]


• How good was House last night? I know you saw it because the ratings were 'uge -- and we have them. [Read more]


• We're still collecting TV catchphrases, even if USA Today called our growing list "too Urkel-riffic." [Read more]


• And we still have plenty of Dirt bags hanging around. Try to win your very own! [Read more]

Too busy getting drunk on The View? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Third time's the charm! NBC contemplates another behind-the-scenes of SNL offering, but this time, it's actually behind the scenes of SNL! [Read more]


• Oh wait. Third time isn't the charm. 3 Lbs. is yanked after three airings. Ironically, there's no third "three" item I can add to that sentence. [Read more]


• What's that you say? You want a $200 Gift Card from Best Buy? Well! Check out our latest contest! [Read more]


• And while you're in a festive mood, try to win a Dirt bag from Michael Kors! [Read more]


• In a life-imitates-art coinky-dink, ABC relives its horrible Thursday morning over and over again with Daybreak's middling ratings. [Read more]

Too busy getting drunk at holiday parties this weekend? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• TVgasm returns to the red carpet! Madeyoulaugh and Katie hit up the Big in '06 Awards. We'll have plenty of videos soon, but for now, here's a teaser... [Watch the video]


• NBC gives 30 Rock a full season order. If you're not watching this show, you should. It's much funnier than the pilot indicated. Plus, Rachel Dratch informed us that she reads TVgasm. We must support the readers! [Read more]


• Probably my favorite industry news of the day: Vivica A. Fox joins the cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Rambling third-person homilies ensue. [Read More]


• Paris Hilton has bowed out of the Billboard Music Awards after deeming the jokes written for her too "objectionable." She plans to spend the night being vapid in private. [Read more]


• Hey! We just can't get enough of Mischa Barton's new Bebe ad. [Watch the video]


• The Melrose Place for a new millennium? You decide! [Read More]


• Speaking of Big In '06, apparently John Salley is white and looks like Lance Bass. [Read more]


• Survivor's Candice says she and Adam are splitsville. Time to make your move, Billy! [Read more]


• Once more with feeling! Scrubs joins the ranks of Buffy with an all-musical episode! [Read more]


• The weekend may be over, but we'll always have the memories. And the ratings. [Read more]

Too busy searching for a Nintendo Wii (seriously, I can't find one anywhere)? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Saul and Katie descend on the VH1 Big in '06 Awards. They are promptly snubbed by Ant. [Watch the video]


• Luckily, Perez Hilton shows them more love. [Watch the video]


• The Nativity Story is a bomb at the box office. I still want the action figures though. [Read more]


• Mario Lopez has signed a talent holding deal with The CW, thus marking the first of what will surely be many unsuccessful attempts to parlay second place in a cheesy reality show into a resurrected career. [Read More]


• Based on the success of Ugly Betty, Salma Hayek is developing a new TV series, this time set in the world of an Ivy League med school. The show is tentatively titled Frida Gives A Colostomy. [Read More]


• Ricky Shroeder joins the cast of 24. Best cast ever? [Read more]


• Now that the Cho Brothers are off The Amazing Race, see what sort of smack they're talking about their cast mates! [Read more]


• Don't feel badly about missing the Billboard Music Awards. No one else watched them either. [Read more]

Too busy breaking up with Vince Vaughn? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• More Big In '06 schmoozing! This time with the girls of America's Next Top Model. [Read more]


• TVgasm exclusive!!! Photos from the Rip Torn crime scene. No joke! [Read more]


• A lot of men have gone inside Paris Hilton, but few have penetrated her head. Until now. [Read more]


• Idol 1, Lost 0. [Read more]


• Find out just how badly Big Day performed in the ratings last night! [Read more]

Too busy enjoying Pearl Harbor Day? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Subjecting MBAs to humiliating living conditions is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY!!! [Read More]


• When it comes to Project Runway, no one knows if Tim Gunn's either eeen or he's out. [Read More]


• Rosie O'Donnell may be joining the cast of Nip/Tuck full time. Memo to self: never watch FX again. [Read More]


• Rebecca Romijn has signed up for a role on Ugly Betty. No word on how this affects our chances of seeing Betty Suarez in blue, full-body makeup. [Read More]


• Despite a military coup in Fiji where the latest season of Survivor is taping, Jeff Probst says that everything is just fine for the production. In a related story, Jeff Probst is now THE PRESIDENT OF FIJI. [Read More]


• A Top Chef scandal? Somebody alert Padma! [Read More]


• And Wednesday's ratings for King of Queens were Remini-tastic! [Read More]

Too busy getting arrested for tax fraud? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• I implore you all to read this very important message (Don't worry, there's a funny video at the end). [Read More]


• Update! We're milking this red carpet for as many celebs as we can! This video features MCPHEEVER. [Watch the video]


• More red carpet adventures, this time with George Takei and Dr. Will! [Watch the Video]


• Oh the hu-manatee! Conan inspires what may be the second best website ever (next to ours). [Read More]


• What are the worst Christmas Movie and TV Shows of all time? We've got the list. Shockingly, Nick & Jessica's Family Christmas is nowhere to be found. [Read More]


• Game shows are funnier in Germany! [Read More]

Too busy getting DUIs in Glendale? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• As part of our continued hazing of newbie Sutter Cane, we sent him to the premiere of Wedding Wars. Poor guy. [Read More]


• Steven Spielberg, Ed Burns, and Christie Turlington are collaborating on a pilot for Fox that revolves around the fashion industry. Turlington will obviously be bringing her insider perspective. Burns and Spielberg, meanwhile, will be bringing incessant chattiness and WWII storylines. Can't wait! [Read More]


• Never afraid to bring us the quality programming we demand, E! will be showcasing David Hasselhoff's daughters in a new reality series called Hoff Broadway. Producers say the plan is to create THE WORST SHOW EVER. [Read More]


• Turns out there really is a market for ultra gory movies spoken in arcane languages! Congrats, Mel! [Read More]


• The Man continues to keep TVgasm down. Here's the latest consumer frustration that you all should know about. [Read More]


• How'd your show fare in the Nielsen's this weekend? We got the ratings! [Read More and More]

Too busy wishing you'd drafted Reggie Bush? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Want to know the story behind J-Unit and this card castle? Bet you do! [Read More]


• Our red carpet odyssey comes to an end in the most awkward way possible. [Watch the Video]


• After weeks of not so subtle hints, Sarah Ferguson gets her wish: to be on Dancing with the Stars! [Read More]


• Secrets of the Survivor finale revealed! Beware: possible spoilers ahead! [Read More]


• Speaking of Survivor, catch up with an old cast member here... [Read More]


• Hey, did you hear? Nicole Richie got a DUI! [Read More]


• E! walks a lonely road, the only one that E! has ever known. That's right, the network has greenlit Boulevard of Broken Dreams, which will kind of be like The E! True Hollywood Story, except everyone will die at the end of the episode. [Read More]


• ABC plans to resurrect the character of Philip Marlowe for a new detective series. Crossing my fingers for a Richard Grieco comeback... [Read More]


• LIKE OMG!!! Do you want a free copy of Laguna Beach seasons one and/or two? Enter our contest! [Read More]


• Deal or No Deal continues to dominate the Monday ratings, much to Madeyoulaugh's chagrin. Find out how the rest of the shows fared in the Nielsens. [Read More]

Feeling aimless without Top Model on tonight? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• All the teenage angst you ever wanted but with none of the therapy! Degrassi: The Next Generation is coming to American syndicated TV! What? You didn't know it was Canadian, eh? [Read More]


• VH1's Celebreality block looks just as campy and depressing as ever. That's why we watch! [Read More]


• Ever feel like you're watching the same show over and over again? Maybe you are... [Read More]


• And lastly, Teri Hatcher never looked so finely creased. [See the ghastly photo]

Having trouble thinking straight in anticipation of tonight's Las Vegas Christmas Special? Catch up with what you missed over at Newsgasm:

• Sekou didn't really make a name of himself on Survivor, but maybe he'll do better with his jazz band. I hope they give us a chance to vote him off The Quiet Storm as well. [Read More]


• You better hope Santa stuffs your stockings with some Valium if you were hoping to get through Christmas without overplayed game shows on NBC. [Read More]


• Three things are certain in life. Death, taxes, and WIlliam Shatner killing off a game show.[Read More]


• How YOU doin? Probably a lot better if you won Season 6 of the Sopranos on DVD in our latest contest. [Read More]


• Would you put money on Ozzy, Sundra, Yul, or Becky? Bodog gives us the odds at this week's Survivor winner. [Read More]


• Who is going to be happy AND drunk at the Beverly Hills Hilton next year? Sutter Kane breaks down the Golden Globe Awards. [Read More]


• A Karaoke video game + American Idol? Sounds like the best combination since I discovered EZ Cheez and Triscuits while, uh, "studying" in college. [Read More]


• Vanessa Marcil may no longer be slugging it out on General Hospital, but she still has great boobs. Oh, and she might have let some details slip about the future of her current show Las Vegas while talking with Ellen.[Read More]


• How the mighty have fallen. Not even Chrismukkah can keep The OC out of fourth place in the ratings game. [Read More]


• Sarah Evans has cleaned up her life enough to tour with her new friends from Dancing With the Stars [Read More]


• The end of the year lists are coming! See the top ten moments, according to Tivo [Read More]


• Oprah is doing a reality show! In other news, my mom now loves reality shows. [Read More]

Too busy humming Sekou's Survivor song? Here's what's going on at Newsgasm:

• Ozzy pins his Survivor loss on one person: SUNDRA. What an evil bitch! [Read More]


• American Idol has a big surprise in store for us. My guess: full frontal nudity. [Read More]


• AMC plans to remake 1960s cult show The Prisoner. It's all part of the network's plan to make sure its brand MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. [Read More]


• Howard Stern appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live via a green screen last week. French kissing ensued. [Read More]


• What were the top ten celebrity viral videos of 2006? We've got the answers... [Read More]


• Hooray for treacle and spelling errors! The Pursuit of Happyness tops the box office! [Read More]

Too busy saving your Miss USA crown? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Katharine McPhee will make useless history this year by being the first artist to ever shun lip syncing and perform live on a Rose Bowl Parade float. In similar news, Rubben Studdard will be the first artist to ever serve as a float. Oh, that was mean! [Read More]


• King of the Hill starts its eleventh season by moving back to 8:30 PM on Sundays, thus making it easier for people to remember it's on the air when they change the channel. [Read More]


• Janeane Garafalo will be starring in a new CBS drama about, you guessed it, lawyers. The tentative title for the show is Blah. [Read More]


• Our trusty intern Nick has done it again. A brand new installment in The Adventures of Julie Chen, and this one's quite possibly the best yet. Do yourself a favor and check it out -- at least for Nick's sake. He poured his sweat and tears into it. [Read More]


• And lastly, a rational explanation for how Twentyfourseven got on the air. [Read More]

Too busy getting taunted by Donald Trump? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• If you haven't seen Donald Trump's Rosie rant, you gotta see it. [Watch the Video]


• And of course, here's Rosie's (sadly brief) response. [Watch the Video]


• Maybe if Donald and Rosie had seen Fran Drescher's Chanukah special, they would have been friendlier. [Watch the Video]


• Seriously, you must, must, must watch this Fran Drescher shit. [Watch the Second Video]


• At last, the official voting results from Sunday's excellent Survivor finale have been posted. [Read More]


• Maybe next time, Santa should set up a hard perimeter. Or put his dick in a box, but that's neither here nor there. [Read More]


• CBS's Rules of Engagement lands the coveted 9:30 PM timeslot on Mondays. Let's hope it's funnier than it's awful promos. [Read More]

Did you put a little too much rum in your egg nogg (or not enough)? Cure those shakes while you browse the latest over on Newsgasm:

• James Brown passes, and TVgasm remembers some of his greatest hits, now with 100% more video! [Watch the Video]


• Funny videos + year-end "best of" list = Super Happy Timewasting Excellence Potential! Check out the best TV and Web ads from 2006 [Watch the Videos]


• Continuing our never-ending march to helping everybody with their addictions to everything Rachel Bilson, Moviegasm offers a free signed poster from The Last Kiss just by sending madeyoulaugh an e-mail without the words "donkey punch" in the subject. [Read More]


• Girls, are you worried that your New Year's day will be filled with more corporate-themed bowl games than you can handle? Put some GHB in your guy's mimosa and then catch the Ugly Betty marathon instead. [Read More]


• Ana Lucia. You can't stop her, you can only hope to contain her. And since she's going to be coming back to Lost, I guess you can't contain her either. [Read More]


• Oh, and if there is a Best Ads list, you have to have a worst ads list to go along with it. [Read More]


• Did somebody say Oscar Season?. B-side is already working on the invite to the next big party. [Read More]

I am running out of hangover inspired headlines for these Newsgasm digests, but B-side should be back next week, so we'll just have to get through this together:

• The next time Simon Cowell hates on one of your favorite American Idol contestants, just remember what he looks like with his shirt off. Just make sure you have a paper bag close by. [Read More]
• Gerald Ford died! (That's an exclamation point of sorrow) But we remember a simpler time when he was alive and it was Chevy Chase making fun of him all the time. [Read More]
• Did we mention that Gerald Ford died at the senseless age of 93? Dana Carvey brings you the news. [Read More]
• Replace Mr. Rogers? Blasphemy! [Read More]
• GSN has a game where you can execute Saddam yourself online. In other news, Donald Rumsfeld just got a new laptop. [Read More]
• Does Carson Daly or Dick Clark throw the best New Year's bash? We weigh the options. [Read More]
• She's the one that we love. Woo hoo hoo honey. Olivia Newton John might make a cameo on the new Grease reality show on NBC. [Read More]
• And finally, for those of you that are looking to huddle up in your living room with some cider and a string of bad movies or sappy prime time soap operas, we have a list of New Year's marathons available to you through the wonders of cable television. [Read More]

It's only day two of 2007, and I've already learned something new. There is nothing better than getting tanked with a group of people from New Orleans in an airport bar during your three hour layover in O'Hare. But those of you with honest jobs would be more interested in all of the goings on over at Newsgasm:

• One season of Padma on Top Chef and Bravo is already talking smack, calling it the top-rated food show on cable. But the big news is that we'll have at least one more season wondering where the naked pictures of Padma are. [Read More]


• Nudity! Rose Bowl! George Lucas promises he won't ruin the 4th installment of Indiana Jones! OK, two out off three ain't bad, as they say. [Watch the video.]


• Best news of the day? Pat, Vanna, and Alex will be with me through my early thirties. [Read More]


• Married...With Children + guns? Hey, as long as they have Kelly, that is cool with me. [Read More]


• The TVgasm writers play Nostradamus and gives you tips on what to look forward to in our Predictions for 2007. [Read More]


• The censors drop the ball at MTV's New Year's Eve. I say we should all kick Kurt Loder's ass in retaliation. [Read More]


• Oh those wacky Japanese. Hella efficient cars and topless New Year's dancers. Okinawa, here I come. [Watch the video.]

Too busy waiting for Benjamin McKenzie's next star vehicle? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• The Jacktracker has arrived at TVgasm! Follow your favorite 24 hero when he returns in ten days! [Read More]


• It happens in threes. First Megan Mullally. Then The OC. Now Geraldo tastes cold steel as the ax swings on his show. [Read More]


• Oh wait. Did you not know that The OC was cancelled? You get an anti-Hey! for that. [Read More]


• So why did The OC fail anyway? Like OMG! Isn't it like totally obvious? WHATEVS!!! [Read More]


• One show dies, and another is born. With Mary McCormack. Delightful. But I'm still waiting for Deborah Kara Unger's moment in the sun. [Read More]


• Worried that your favorite indie bands will have nowhere to shine now that The OC is done? Fear not! They can all sell out on Degrassi: The Next Generation instead! [Read More]


• Wondering how Judi Dench's lesbian fixations fared at the cineplex? Sutter Cane has the full Holiday box office analysis. [Read More]


• Madeyoulaugh has a show that will steal your heart. [Read More]


• And ratings are back! Find out how Knights of Prosperity fared in its premiere... [Read More]

• It's Donald vs. Rosie over on GSN, and we won't even charge them any royalties. [Read More]
• And while we are talking about the Donald, take a look at the greatest Clipgasms from The Apprentice. Can't wait for Sunday![Read More]
• Days Of Our Lives + attempted exorcism = the funniest thing anybody from Oregon has done in years. [Read More]
• The new twist for American Idol this year? We all have a chance to have our original shows watered down by the man for mass consumption. [Read More]
• Season Four of Laguna Beach wasn't that bad, but maybe MTV thinks the kids in Maui will be more interesting. [Read More]
• Although The O.C. ended sooner than he hoped, creator Josh Schwartz promises fans a great finale.[Read More]

Too busy trying to erase that bobbled snap from your memory? Here's what's been going on at Newgasm:

• American Idol may be premiering next week, but the auditions start today! [Watch the Video]


• Still basking in the afterglow of last night's Apprentice premiere? Here are the top nine TVgasm Apprentice clips of all time. [Watch the Videos]


• And you can't say Apprentice clip without The Rubble Man -- now in high quality stereo sound! [Listen to the Song]


• Speaking of The Apprentice, feel free to stalk the show's every move with our very own TrumpStalker. [Read More]


• The Real Housewives of Orange County are back, and this time their trampier and more Botoxed than ever! [Read More]


• Mourning schmorning! It's time for Bindi Irwin's first publicity tour. Yay! [Read More]


• People are still flocking to Night at the Museum, woefully ignoring the many wonders of watching Cate Blanchett giving a blow job to a 15 year old in Notes on a Scandal. Sutter Cane has the Moviegasm box office report. [Read More]


• And you haven't lived until you've seen La Toya Jackson tasered. [Watch the Video]


• Admit it: you're excited about Maui Fever also. Like OMG! Surf's like totally up! [Read More]


• How'd your favorite shows fare? We have the ratings from Thursday and Friday! [Read More and More]

Too busy feuding with Barbara and Rosie? Here's what you're missing at Newsgasm:

• 24 B4 24 is coming soon. (Whoever designed that logo must be a very handsome, intelligent, and all around wonderful man). [Read More]


• The war of words continues between Trump, Rosie, and now Babs. We hate to fuel the fire, but damn it's so much fun. [Watch the Video]


• Middle America gets its chance to shine! The People's Choice Awards reveal its latest slate of deserving winners. [Read More]


• London sucked, Paris sucked, but now MTV's hoping third time's the charm as The Real World goes international to Australia. Crossing fingers for a kangaroo goring! [Read More]


• Ugly Betty might not be as ugly as previously assumed. Who knew those glasses, braces, and outfits were the products of a costume department?? [Read More]


• I'd be incline to say this Apprentice video marks the worst guided tour of L.A. ever, but then that suggests there are actually good guided tours of L.A.. [Watch the Video]


• Simon Cowell prefers Kelly Clarkson over Bob Dylan, saying that singing poets just bore him. I suppose he won't be listening to my new favorite album, Maya Angelou: I Know Why The Caged Bird Get Funky. [Read More]


• Sutter Cane comes to a sad realization: he is, in fact, a film snob. [Read More]


• He may be a movie snob, but that didn't stop Sutter Cane from watching Black Christmas. [Read the Review]


• Excited to see a new House last night? So was the rest of America. We've got the ratings... [Read More]

Too busy moving to Los Angeles for a million dollars a week? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Details released! TVgasm's marathon event, 24 Before 24, kicks off at 8 PM EST this weekend! Prizes are involved... [Read More]


• Nip slip! Nip slip! Areola rears its illegal head on last night's Beauty and the Geek, and we have the video to prove it! [Watch the Video]


• And we also have the still images... [Read More]


• Well, this makes sense. Steve -- a.k.a. the bald guy from The Jerry Springer Show -- is getting his own talk show. GREAT. [Read More]


• As bad as Steve's new talkfest sounds, it can't be any worse than the latest Mike Fleiss trainwreck, The Great American Dream Vote, where people in dire situations compete for America's charity. Charming. [Read More]


• Get ready, people. Extras is coming back! [Read More]


• With the recent passing of Yvonne DeCarlo ("Lily Munster"), there's speculation that The Munsters could be cursed. It's a curse some are calling old age. [Read More]


• Armed and Famous scores in its series premiere. Too bad it'll be trampled next week when Idol returns. [Read More]

Too busy getting tickets for The Rural Juror? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• With the arrival of 24 B4 24, Madeyoulaugh earns the award for bravest man on the internet. He'll be living it up for twenty four hours in the TVgasm studios, and you can watch it all. Various guests, giveaways, and sleep-deprived hallucinations shall abound. [Read More]


• Can you smell it? The fresh odor of American Idol rejects? So pungent. And here's one hopeful performing in the Idol audition line just for us. [Watch the Video]


• Speaking of Idol, Paula's up to her slurry best. You must see this. Must. Can't... wait... for... Tuesday... [Watch the Video]


• It's a step in the right direction: Bravo gives Tim Gunn his own show. How sad it will be when NBC Universal runs him into the ground. [Read More]


• 24, American Idol, The Hills, and now My Super Sweet 16? Best next week EVER! [Watch the Video]


• Alert! Alert! New cast of Survivor: Fiji revealed! [Read More]


• Looks like the people of Muncie, IN love Armed and Famous as much as I do. [Read More]


• Sadly, Armed and Famous loses momentum in the ratings. America -- don't let this one slip by! [Read More]

Too busy raising Jennifer Hudson's confidence? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• American Idol. American Idol. American Idol. Are you psyched yet? No? Then check out this girl in the audition line singing for us. [Watch the Video]


• Katie talks with one prospective Idol singer who's sure to set the ladies's hearts aflutter. [Watch the Video]


• The networks are clearing their schedules for Idol. ABC has announced that Dancing with the Stars will be airing on Mondays and Tuesdays, with the latter show coming after Idol. That's right: four nights of singing and dancing. This will be a festive TVgasm spring... [Read More]


• CBS announces the all-star teams for The Amazing Race 11. And yes, Teri and Ian are back. That's all I wanted. [Read More]


• Getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY! [Read More]


• After dissing Carey's pink paisley bathing suit, Donald Trump is being labeled a homophobe. Is it really homophobic to dislike a pink paisley bathing suit? I mean, it's pink paisley. [Read More]


• Anyone else creeped out by that new Orville Redenbacher commercial? [Read More]


• Wish you could relive the joy of watching Valencia, CA getting wiped off map? Well, the 24 season premiere is already on DVD! Sorry, Magic Mountain. [Read More]


• Stomp The Yard takes the number one spot at the holiday weekend box office. This surely will lead to the inevitable sequel, Tread The Patio. [Read the Box Office Recap]

Too busy checking into rehab? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Isaiah Washington's in sooooo much trouble now. T.R. Knight spills the beans to Ellen about the whole "incident." [Watch the Video]


• Passions gets sent to the big cauldron in the sky. I already know one woman who cried about this. Admit it, you bawled your eyes out too. [Read More]


• Art Buchwald also bites the big one. But that's not as fun to talk about. [Read More]


• If you saw American Idol last night, you saw this guy. And then you probably had nightmares. [Read More]


• Borat? Bunnies? Don't ever tell us we don't provide enough material for our stoner demographic... [Read More]


• In case you missed TVgasm's mammoth endurance event, 24 B4 24, Madeyoulaugh has plenty of backstage photos of the event. [Read More]


• NBC greenlights a celebrity improv show. Because that doesn't sound annoying at all... [Read More]


• ABC has news for us: But it's Daybreak, if you wanna believe. It can be Daybreak, ain't no time to grieve. Said it's Daybreak, if you'll only believe... [Read More]


• American Idol is so big (how big is it?), nearly every TV in America is watching it. Or something like that. Madeyoulaugh has the ratings. [Read More]

Too busy choking in the playoffs? Here's what you've been missing on Newsgasm:

• Holy ratings! At one point, over 57 million viewers watched last night's AFC championship game as the Indianapolis Colts finally defeated the New England Patriots, making it the most watched telecast since last year's Super Bowl. No word on how many of those people actually suffered multiple heart attacks too. Madeyoulaugh will have the full Nielsen analysis later today. [Read More]


• Oscars noms are tomorrow, which means Razzie noms today! Check out who was deemed AWFUL at Moviegasm. [Read More]


• After receiving harsh criticism from The View and other outlets, Simon Cowell mildly apologizes to Kenneth "Bush Baby" Briggs. We, however, do not. Next time Rosie O'Donnell wants to chide someone for making a mean joke, maybe she should replay her whole "ching chong ching chong" incident. [Read More]


• The Simpsons is turning 400. Someday, that will be you too, What About Brian. Some day... [Read More]


• What if there was a beauty pageant that mothers AND daughters could participate in? The CW fulfills our fantasies. [Read More]


• Top Chef 2 is nearing its finale, and already, speculation is mounting. If you want to read possible spoilers, follow this link... [Read More]


• Get your stalk on! The Jacktracker, TrumpStalker, and HillsStalker have all been updated! [Read More]


• Laguna Beach fans strut their stuff to prove they're worthy of some free DVDs. Check out the winners of our latest contest... [Read More]

It's Oscars Time! While you wait for the Dame Judy Dench vs. Helen Mirren deathmatch check out the latest over on Newsgasm:

• Did somebody say Academy Awards? Make sure to check out all of the nominees. There will be a test Fridya [Read More]


• Can't think of anything intelligent to say about the nominations? Read the latest from Sutter Cane and impress all of your friends at the water cool/ methadone clinic. [Read More]


• If you don't watch American Idol, then you're missing out on the Fidel Castro meets Osam bin Laden lovechild doing his favorite song from Johnny Cash. [Watch Video]


• Isaiah Washington will needs to love the gays to keep his job. Luckily there is some rehab for that. Couldn't he have just claimed it was an allergic reaction and avoided this whole mess? [Read More]


• If there is anything that cold slow down idol, it was a speech from El Jefe. madeyoulaugh has the latest in Ratings. [Read More]


• Sad news as Greg Behrendt loses his talk show. In other news, Greg Behrendt has a talk show. [Read More]


• I assume that there aren't many people that haven't seen more of Paris Hilton than their antacid supply can keep up with, but apparently, there's more! [Read More]


• If you're a virgin and can't make the trip to TJ, do we have a reality show for you![Read More]

Too busy swooning over underage teenagers on Idol? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• When it comes to overly dramatic speeches on American Idol, this one takes the cake. [Watch the Video]


• Law & Order: SVU stars Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay defy Dick Wolf's penny-pincher ways by earning themselves two fat pay raises. DUNH DUNH. [Read More]


• This should help you sort out your DVR problems. A calendar of noteworthy premieres, finales, and specials for the next few months -- with fancy red font! [Read More]


• Looks like American Idol guest judge/Joan Collins enthusiast Carol Bayer Sager wasn't terribly well received by the production staff. Poppycock! We say Viva La CaBaSa! [Read More]


• Take a wild guess at which show obliterated the ratings last night? Madeyoulaugh has the comprehensive analysis. [Read More]

Too busy winning pageants that no one watches anymore? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• We love Whitney from The Hills, especially when she falls over on national television. [Watch the Video]


• New feature alert! Webcam, meet TVgasm. TVgasm, meet webcam. [Watch the Video]


• The King of TV is coming to TVgasm! Bow down, motherf*ckers! [Read More]


• Did Food & Wine spoil the Top Chef finale? Oh, Gail Simmons... Flipit will never forgive you! [Read More -- possible spoilers!]


• Rumors are circulating that American Idol might replace Paula with Courtney Love. Because that makes sense. [Read More]


• Dearest Famke Janssen will be starring in an NBC pilot as a policewoman. You know, it's about time NBC greenlit a cop show... [Read More]


• Donny Osmond to host the worst show ever created. [Read More]


• K-Fed's Super Bowl commercial hits the Net! [Read More]


• And, of course, ratings! [Read More]

Too busy crying over that old guy on American Idol? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• NEW: Be sure to check out the premiere of The Paul Goebel Show live here at TVgasm! Starts today at 12 PM PST [Watch the show]


• Big Brother lives on! CBS wisely renews my summer crack. [Read More]


• Fox plans to further showcase the best of America by airing Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? after Idol this month. [Read More]


• This clip from Grease is almost as amazing as that time on Idol when Mandisa waved her arms in the air to the tune of "I'm Every Woman"... [Watch the Video]


• A new camgasm -- with extra Pirate's Booty! [Watch the Video]


• Madeyoulaugh has ratings (plus a Jim Belushi video. It's an oldie, but a goodie, as they say). [Read More]


• Lauren Conrad celebrates her twenty-first birthday. Dumb comments by Heidi to ensue... [Read More]

Has your day become more crazy than a lovesick astronaut? Ease those nerves with the latest from Newsgasm:

• Did somebody say camgasm? If you haven't checked out the newewst, most handsome feature of Newsgasm, well, then you're just asking for trouble. Watch the video]


• Dawson's back! Sort of. Lost's Harold Perrineau gets a job on the most interesting television pilot featuring Jesuit priests performing exorcism that this town has seen in years. [Read More]


• American Idol's Paula Abdul is sued, and it has nothing to do with vicodin. [Read More]


• Petra Nemcova has her own modeling show? Should Tyra be scared? Not unless Petra loves chili fries. [Read More]


• Heidi Montag (of The Hills) is one step closer to Playboy, which should really make Spencer happy. [Read More]


• Abra, abracadabra madeyouaugh's Ratings will reach out and grab ya. (Every blogger has to work Steve Miller into an item at least once a week) [Read More]


• Lost is back and TVgasm's own Paul Goebel is giving you a chance to watch it with your very own Hurley doll. [Read More]

Too busy throwing out your TrimSpa? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm:

• Anna Nicole Smith: suddenly not such a great spokeswoman for diet pills (she died). [Read More]


• Guess who stands to benefit from Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death? That's right: her husband / lawyer / human yeast infection, Howard K. Stern! Start the conspiracy theories... [Read More]


• Oh, Anna. We'll always have the memories. The slurry, regrettable memories... [Watch the Video]


• Hey, it's not all bad news. Today's J-Unit's birthday! [Read More]


• This is who we really think should be singing with Justin Timberlake on Sunday's Grammy Awards... [Watch the Video]


• The King of TV returns for his weekly installment of TVgasm Presents: The Paul Goebel Show. Why should you watch? One word: SKIPPY! [Read More]


• Rupert Murdoch spills the beans about Borat II. Could it be true? [Read More]


• Chloe live! [Read More]


• Lost came back last night. How did it fare? Madeyoulaugh has all the ratings... [Read More]

Too busy claiming paternity of Dannielynn Smith? Here's what you've been missing at Newsgasm: