Let's see. It's been two weeks since we last met and we are down to seven guys. A pierced up ex- stripper, a personal trainer smart ass, a famewhore, a good old boy, an annoying tattooed midget, his pining lover and the only person on the planet to get a negative score on his SATs. And today they will be beating the crap out of each other. There is a God!
It's not a good thing for Flex, though. Geez, that hand is in nasty shape. It looks like his entire hand has leprosy or something.
He doesn't want to get hurt anymore and I have a suggestion. STOP DRINKING 24/7 AROUND DOUCHEBAGS. Sorry for the yelling but for goodness sake, you wouldn't have burns or twisted ankles if you didn't get trashed and provoke people, then decide to put a crazy person in a headlock.
He's fine, anyway. He just likes to bitch and moan.
6 Gauge finds a bunch of boxing/fighting gear from Tap Out (what a dumb name. who wants to tap out of a fight?) in the hallway and grabs the Daisy diary to read to the other guys. Did you watch him walk down the hall, by the way? It's like he's carrying a watermelon between his legs. Or a gourd. Or my birthday present. Or all of the above.
The diary says that Daisy thinks that they need to blow off some steam so they need to take out their piercings, put on their cups and get ready for Riki Fonzerelli to laugh at them, because you know that's pretty much guaranteed.
Mr. Peepers is super duper excited because he's been training for an entire year! Wow, Peepers! I'm so proud of you. Really, I am, but I hate to break it to you but playing Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots in your grandma's basement with your nine year old cousin doesn't really count as training.
TT is a weenie. Yeah, he's the smallest guy there. Yeah, he's got zero muscle tone. Yes, the last time he got excercise was carrying his guitar case and hoisting it into the back of a rusted out Econoline van. But most of all, he has to learn how to fight from Peepers. Dude, you cannot sink any lower.
I must admit that I got pretty excited when Peeps took TT back to their room and told him that he'd give him pointers as he removed his pants. Finally, a truly romantic moment in a decidedly unromantic show, especially for one that has the word 'Love' in the title.
Alas, it wasn't that kind of pointer. TT does a lame kick in the general direction of Peepers' crotch, saying that kicking in the balls is basically his entire strategy. Then he puts on his gear and complains to the other guys that the cup goes from his belly button all the way back to his asshole. And those shorts, they hang down past his knees. He is sooo tiny that I've lost all sense of proprtion.
On the way into the limo Flex tells TT, "Ladies first," and you have to wonder if all this teasing isn't wearing the ambiguously gay duo down a bit. Flex never lets up. It's his strategy to intimidate and emasculate and I bet that he's been doing it his whole life, he's so good at it.
At the gym Daisy and Riki Fonzarelli tell the boys that they will be fighting each other in weight class based cage matches. For the first time in weeks there is a sparkle in Riki's eyes. He cannot wait to see these guys go at it. He introduces the trainer guy who informs them that getting hit in the face really, really hurts.
Have you ever gotten your nose broken? If so, you know that it hurts like hell. I've had mine broken twice. The first time was in the second grade. My birthday is in August but my elementary school celebrated everyone's b-day that had fallen in the summer with a big party in the first week of school. Some kid on the playground had a crush on me and was trying to get my attention by screaming my name when ever he made a basket. I ignored him until he threw the basketball in my face. Thus began the first of many balls to hit my noggin, zing! Moving on....
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Comments (8)
Is it me or does the trainer guy look like a freakishly beefy David Cross?
1 of 8 | Posted by deliciousminds | Posted on June 10, 2009 3:37 PM
I'll do the right thing for humanity and have Fox's baby. I have a genius IQ so maybe it would even out. It'd be a shame to waste all that pretty.
Seriously, what is wrong with Daisy? Six Gauge? Before TT and Chinister? Is she on drugs?
2 of 8 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 10, 2009 8:16 PM
Fox . . . Johnny Depp in bizarro world . . . but I'd totally do him if he'd promise not to say a word.
3 of 8 | Posted by wornsey | Posted on June 10, 2009 8:32 PM
Yeah, I will totally sacrifice the IQ points to stare at Fox. I did laugh hysterically when he was speaking "G" talk. He is so stupid. But, like he says, "Who cares?"
I think they got their heights wrong too. Or one of the producers is in love with Fox too. Cause there is no way he's 5'11".
And, 12 Pack is TOTALLY growing on me. So much so that I actually hope he loses. Therefore winning.
4 of 8 | Posted by jadestarla | Posted on June 10, 2009 8:51 PM
Says a lot about a show where 12 Pack becomes the voice of reason.
And I'm pretty sure TT's height was given as 5'3" ? Is it possible for a guy to be that small? (But then, they all listed the pierced dong guy as 5'3"...maybe they were measuring him lying down though).
I don't see what the big deal with Fox's brain is. It's a perfect match for Daisy's.
Besides, you just know she's going to end up with Fonzie. If she isn't already hooking up with him. He's completely in love with her.
5 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 10, 2009 11:33 PM
Twunty, i love you...you can show me your tits anytime...
:)
i couldn't watch this show for more than 5 min, but i love these recaps! Keep up the good work!
6 of 8 | Posted by pappy44 | Posted on June 11, 2009 10:28 AM
This episode was less boring due to the fighting (Wow. I'd like to see the contract these guys had to sign releasing the producers from liability!).
Hope you have a great trip.
7 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 11, 2009 10:58 AM
Twunty darling, have a blast. And if you overindulge a wee bit, know that I'm right there with you with the whole puking thing. Sadly, mine isn't alcohol induced. It's more of a flu thing. Sigh. So have a drink or two for me : )
Hugs,
Yenta
8 of 8 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 14, 2009 5:27 AM