Daisy of Love: Et Tu, Douchebag?

This week on Daisy of Love..

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Don't be sick, Gasmii. By now most of you should know not to eat before reading my recaps.

Also, at this point in the game the Yack Castle is getting pretty claustrophobic. Which means that it's a perfect time to shove them all in the kitchen together to whip up a five course meal! Riki tells them as much wearing a t-shirt that I'm sure is not just the name of a band but pretty much how he feels about most of these guys.

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Or it's just an ad for a new line of Daisy dolls.

None of these guys can cook, or so they say but TT does have one charming dish in his repertoire- Trailer Park Pizza. It consists of a slice of bread with ketchup and cheese on top that is left out in the sun to heat.

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"Then we finished off the rotgut and gangbanged Mr. Peepers in a wig. I mean my sister."

Is this a joke? We made mini pizzas in college but they were made with english muffins, spaghetti sauce and shredded mozzerella. We put parmesan and red pepper flakes on top and it wasn't bad. Oh no, I should not have admitted that. My Nana is rolling in her grave again. Sorry, Nana.

Flex makes a joke about hoping that Daisy likes Ramen because he can't cook for shit and we are introduced to four "caterer/cooking helpers" who are obviously aspiring actors. They must really suck at "emoting" if this is the best gig that they can get, but I suppose that you have to start somewhere. Oh, and they're supposed to be hot, too. That's a good one.

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I heard that "Groomer Has It" is hiring soon.

Here's what they have to cook:

TT- lasagna. He's knows how to make pizza so he should know how to make lasagna. He's practically Italian, he's the next Mario Battalli, folks.

12 Ain't Packin'- Red velevet cake. Yum, love me some of that for sure. Only thing is that baking is an exact science and you have to be very particular. If his perfect chin strap is any indication of how anal he is, he should be fine.

Flex- Chicken cordon bleu. I know that it sounds all french and fancy but it's actually really easy to make. And, dammit, he's wearing makeup again. Is he having an affair with Daisy's makeup artist?

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Don't make Daisy look bad! Now you're prettier than her.

Peeps gets french onion soup and this is what Big Rig gets:

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I didn't know they could do that! No wonder that part of my vegetable patch smells funny!

It's a quiche, actually, and it's funny that they gave a retro metrosexual dish to the biggest lug on the planet. AND he gets the gay actor as his helper. It smells like a set-up to me but he handles it very well. Meaning nothing gets broken and gay actor boy doesn't get knocked on his cute little bottom.

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Top chef, if you know what I mean.

I hear baby sleepy time music in the background which can only mean one thing- Peepers is up next. He's slicing onions and he can't stop crying. More pefect scripting; give the biggest weenie an opportunity to cry a river.
It's also proof that he doesn't know how to cook. Never breathe through your nose when cutting onions, only your mouth, and never stand with your head directly over them. And open a window, for God's sake. Done ranting. For now.

Big Rig has made his quiche in the shape of a heart and Mr. Peepers has decided to set the table. He does an amazing job, placing candles just so, strewing more damn rose petals everwhere and even putting a table runner down the center over the tablecloth.

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Because every straight guy knows how to do that, right?

They set the food out and everything looks good except TT's lasagna. I thought it was because he burnt the top too much and there's none of that delicious bubbling sauce poking through the cheese but then I took a closer look, and it's food art.

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Dead Douche Self Portrait with Bow.

Daisy of Love: Et Tu, Douchebag? Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (19)

Snootchy Bootches:

Maybe I need another cup of coffee, but I'm starting to think that the only one who actually might be able to pull off a relationship with Daisy is TT. Strange, I know. But I think that their personalities might work together. He sort of looks like her ex too, so clearly she likes that type. And I think his douchebag quotient is quite a bit lower than some of the others. Of course, she will probably pick Flex because he is HOT. And then he will dump her flailing armed big lipped ass.

Not that it really matters in the end. Yanno.

TMcS, you know I love ya! *mwah* You make watching this tripe enjoyable!

wintersux:

Thinking it has to be London that comes back next week. Unless it is her ex, what was his name again, Charles?

slutty_whore:

Snooty, the point of these shows is to get spin-off after spin-off, so as a result, she should have kept the least compatible person (Big Rig) or one of the gay guys she has left (Flex, TT, Peepers). How much you wanna bet the VH1 producers are trying to turn Daisy into a "New York" type character, with more vulnerability? I'm sure she'll get dumped at or before the reunion show, and the producers will have her back for Season 2.

Snootchy Bootches:

Yeah, I know. :) That was sort of what I meant by my comment about it not really mattering in the end. But you see what I am saying, right? He seems similar to her somehow.

apalmer10000:

I just have this crazy feeling that its her uncle Oscar De La Hoya. He's a fame whore probably wants to keep it going by appearing on this stupid show. He'll be there to strike some "fear" into the boys and of course reunite with good ole Daisy.

blazergirl:

I assumed it was Bret coming back, helping her to make a decision like Heather did for him. I would love to see how the guys react to being around Bret. I would assume lots of obnoxious ass kissing.

newcastlefan:

I thought it would be London since they showed him when TT was singing but Bret would be awesome. Thanks for the info on Cathouse but isn't that another name for whorehouse? Is Riki a madame for an upscale brothel?

kittkatt357:

I'm biding my time with this crappy show, while every night I pray for a show all about Becky Buckwild looking for love. Either that or the start of Big Brother. TV is sucking hard core right now(like a mugg!!!look I'm showing my age)

dkw007:

I think it will be London because she hinted at that when she was on Loveline with Dr. Drew. I love the idea of Becky Buckwild looking for love. That would be HILARIOUS.

uglycutie:

I think Dizzy...er...I mean Daisy should pick the gay chef/assistant. I mean, if she's gonna pick a guy that is no doubt going to chuck her, then pick the finest male to make an appearance on this poo show...so far.

I can always dream of Chris Evans making a cameo and turning Daisy into narcotic-dust with one arch of his finely trimmed eyebrows. Swoon...

(If the above didn't make sense...blame it on the co-co-co-co-codeine)

reckless_saturn_11:

At one point Big Rig said that he is not a man who takes no for an answer. And that comment caused me to have a tiny shiver of fear because now I understand how he gets women to have sex with him. I was not sorry to see him go since every time he kissed Daisy he seem to be raping her face. You could see the revulsion in Daisy face and her attempting to pull away.

And I just love how the guys refer to the other guys as douche bags. Hello have you looked in the mirror, spent anytime in a moment of self reflection because everyone in that house is a giant douche nozzle. The makeup, the facial hair styling, the trucker hats, the jewelry it all adds up to d to the b, douche baggery.

I also love the subtle homo-erotic way that Peepers talks about his friendship with TT. How a friend gets behind another friend no matter what and always has another friend's back. It reminds me of a scene from that awful movie Remember the Spartans. When the men mount a guy's back when they get ready to do battle. Just come out of the closet Peepers, because it is so awesome to live free and you will become less of a whiny pussy and your self confidence will soar.

And Daisy's face confuses me. Sometimes in the right light with just the right amount of makeup. She appears to be pretty, almost beautiful. But then the light shifts and she just looks like a troll doll. I don't understand how her lips at all. Sometimes it looks like her top lip is connected to her nose. A la one Bret Michaels- her face is an enigma wrapped up in a mystery.

And I wish that Riki wasn't such a douche because I want to like him. Because deep down he knows what a fucking joke this show is and he almost hides it well. But he needs to calm it down with the hair and the outfits. I think he is helping the editors to make fun of TT when he sang his song to Daisy. The snark is strong in that one, but he just needs a make over.

And I think that they are bringing back London.

And I can't believe I had that much to say about that show. But I think that has more to do with how much housework I have to do and less with how much I care about the show. At least I hope so.

Oh and I love this show because no one is really taking it seriously. Everyone knows that Daisy isn't looking for true love. Everyone pretty much knows that they are on the show for their 15 minutes of fame, free liquor and food and a chance to have sex with Daisy.

Also 12 pack's, small package has got to be because he uses steroids. Allegedly. I noticed that he had a lot of back acne which is one of the side effects from using steroids.

blacklashes:

All I have to say is FLEX is the FOX! WHAT a hottie!! I thought London was hot, too, but Flex - whoo!!! I know who I'd be boning...I mean picking!
Black Lashes

yentapatrol:

OMG Twunty you are such a hero for sticking with this show and not having to check into rehab. I'm seriously considering how to disinfect the inside of my TV screen after this trainwreck. The funniest thing was when my teenage son caught me watching the show. Before I could change the channel, he got a full screen close up of Daisy. I was kind of curious to see what his reaction would be so I waited while he stared and blinked before turning to me and asking "Is she still biodegradable?" LOL.
Massive hugs,
Yenta

pixielated:

These shows are more fun than those dreary Bachelor/ette shows. Everybody is just trying to get on TV and have some fun and get wasted (and laid) and nobody is taking it too seriously. Well, maybe Daisy is.

Actually, that is pretty much what they are doing on The Bachelor/ette, too, but it is all so SERIOUS.

BlackieChuu:

My first reaction was that they're bringing her ex, Charles, on.

itchy:

Things to think about:

Why does Sinister grip Daisy's face in order to kiss her?

Big Rig's the reason I never travel south of the Mason-Dixon line.

12Pack is looking more and more like Magilla Gorilla

Flex is a transvestite in training. He's more interested in Daisy's makeup than the doll herself.

A ChiChi is fried sticks of doughnut batter.

Snootchy Bootches:

Depends on where you live, Itchy. A ChiChi is also a boob. Not as in an idiot (which would be fitting), but as in a breast.

itchy:

Even better: in Jamaica a chichi is a cockroach that eats wood... and has become their equivalent to 'gay'.

Which fits our boy ChiChi pretty well, I'd say.

MichyPR:

I think it was pretty obvious that the guy who "won" was the one that would win all along...

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