I don't drive stick either but I would have lost my patience and pushed him out of that driver's seat and told him to strap in the passenger seat. He act like he'll piss his pants if he goes more than 30 miles an hour. He's sooooo boring. He's valium in human form. He's an afternoon in grandma's rocking chair while watching Bassmasters, eating tofu and washing it down with skim milk.
She decides to take the dune buggy for a spin when Peeper's snoozefest is over and she's a wee bit devil-may-care behind the wheel. She does donuts and treats them to more air time than the two of them gave her combined. Peepers pees his pants again, Flex laughs his ass off and the inevitable happens- she flips the buggy.
I have to give the girl credit for going balls out with the buggy. Either she has more guts than I gave her credit for (she did sleep with Brett Michaels) or she's just a crazy bad driver.
They arrive back at the Yack where the pitiful little monkey discovers that TT has moved out of their room. He takes a tour of TT's new space and acts like it's no big deal, calling TT a pimp for having a king size bed and his own bathroom. Way to be strong, little buddy, I totally thought you'd run off to cry into the toilet again.
Boy, can this guy take a lot of abuse. He's not completely unflappable though because he calls TT an asshole after The Chinister One tells him to go have fun in his bunkbeds. Then he does a complete about-face and delivers some toilet paper rolls to TT's bathroom. He's going to need it to sop up the tears he's going to cry while he sniffs TT's underwear for the last time. Tragic.
It's been about a nanosecond since Flex was a smartass, so we're way overdue for some words of wisdom from him. He sums up TT and Peepers relationship thusly: deviant rockstar plus little angel ass kisser equals one huge ass kissing rock star. Yes, and smart aleck personal trainer plus roided up famewhore equals uh, I don't know, half of Hollywood? You and 12 Pack should take your act on the road, you're a dime a dozen in L.A.
It's date time for 12 Pack and TT. Daisy has a table set up under the very same light rig that Flipper did a swan dive off of so many weeks ago. It's easy to forget about all the guys she's eliminated so far but damn, there was a ton of crazy in that house from the very beginning. Not that I'm complaining, it's just that time has flown by with this show.
Back to reality, Daisy insists on calling 12 Pack Dave so she wants to call TT by his real name. It's Derrick, only everyone who knows him calls him Asshat, I mean Tripp Lee. I'm sorry for that mistake but he is wearing a trucker cap with that douchetastic name on it, so you can see how Asshat made more sense to me.
12 loves the name too and says, "You mean Joshua Lee?" and he proceeds to trash The Homeless One to Daisy's face which makes her none too happy. Oh geez, could you possibly have a more obvious case of foreshadowing? Thanks, VH1.
What happens next makes me love Daisy a little bit. She turns to 12 Pack right in front of TT, and asks him to come up to her room for a nightcap (sex). TT is too much of a little bitch to let it roll off his back so he goes back into the house and trashes his room. That's always smart. Some words of wisdom for you, TT: don't shit where you eat and don't trash where you sleep. Instead, how about you throw some more liquor bottles at your framed photo of Mr. Peepers?
I'm all excited because we're finally going to have some bodily fluids exchanged on this show but Peepers almost ruins it for me. He's sitting on the steps leading up to Daisy's room, looking like an anorexic Crip crossed with a baby rhesus monkey.
If he actually was a gangsta, I think I know what AK47 he'd be carrying:
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Comments (10)
I think Daisy and London ought to go on a double date with Jillian and Ed.
1 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 1, 2009 4:31 PM
Uuhhhhhh, wadda ya mean what are you going to do?!?! Find another show immediately dammit!!!!
Twunty, you crack me up every week. I love your take on these idiots.
I have to say I was sorry to see Mr Peepers go - it's like seeing a beloved pet die. Without the beloved part. I bet he's already built a shrine to TT in his basement.
LOVED the gif of her falling on her ass!! I could watch it over and over and over again. And I'm sure I will.
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 10 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 2, 2009 4:16 AM
Yes Twunty, you WILL find another show STAT to recap. What would we do without you? I agree with Potty. I had become more interested in following Peepers & TT's relationship than Dazey's. I'll miss the little monkey.
OK, London will end up winning, he will break her heart, bingo, bango, Dazey of Love II. That could be said about any one of these losers.
Who hasn't fallen for the hottie loser manipulator once or twice, maybe even thrice, ahem, but London? They're really asking a lot of us to believe that one.
Thanks Twunty, for another great one.
3 of 10 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:23 AM
I must say, this show has been much more entertaining than I expected. And the recaps are legen - wait for it - dary!
I'm glad that little wuss is gone, I couldn't stand to look at him any longer. I just feel a mix of pity and disdain for him. He needs a good psychiatrist, stat.
What does Daisy find hot about London? He's a nothing. In spite of myself, I kind of like Daisy - I think she's a nice person and she can look really pretty at times (I agree Twunty).
4 of 10 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:28 AM
Bubbles from Charm School and Peepers should have a baby.
5 of 10 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 2, 2009 12:29 PM
Beebles? Puppers?
I'm really enjoying 12 Pack this season. Maybe it's because he reminds me of a Rock'em Sock'em Robot
And I keep wondering what drug he's been taking and whether there's any left over for me.
6 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 2, 2009 1:20 PM
It has been a long time since I have laughed as hard as I did when you called Peepers an anorexic crip!!
And Slutty_Whore - your comment was priceless.
7 of 10 | Posted by ohionancy | Posted on July 2, 2009 2:05 PM
I think the difference between our hottie losers and hers, shantigal, is that ours were HOT.
We may criticize Jillian the Bachelorette for her bad taste in men (Wes), but she pales by comparison to this little gal. At least pick TT--he's a skinny, no-talent, but I think he is closer to being a decent guy.
If you're going to get your heart broken, it should be by 12-Pack or Flex! Preferably Flex, cuz he still has a package.
8 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 2, 2009 3:50 PM
Just wanted to say Twunty, great job, I know what a bitch it is getting through shows like this (remember "Double Shudder At Love"?) so kudos to you for doing a great job!
love, J-Mo :)
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 2:01 PM
I've got a good idea of what show you should recap next: Megan wants a millionaire. I almost pissed my pissed when I saw the comercial. I love to hate that ho and I hope they all knock her ass down a peg or two.
10 of 10 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on July 9, 2009 9:01 AM