He runs up to check on Daisy with a renewed spring in his step, the first blush of love will do that to you. He's all sweet and loving and caring and even does the patented Daisy of Love face grab smother kiss. Are they all afraid that her augmented face will slide off like the Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark if they don't hold it in place? Have they run out of foundation and are stealing what they can by rubbing it off of her cheeks? I think that the last thing I'd want to touch would be her face. Um, make that next to last. Yuck.
What Peepers doesn't realize is that he was born to fulfill a completely different destiny- that of gay bestie. The guy you shop with, who'll take you to the dance if you don't have a date. The gay friend whom you tease mercilessly for being a wuss yet he still lets you cry on his shoulder after you get crabs from that perfectly nice boy with the Harley and the deee-luxe double wide.
I hope he wakes up one day, preferably soon.
There is one more conversation left between Daisy and London on the back terrace at sunset. It's very pretty and romantic and London lies through his teeth. She lays down the law and he promises not to leave again, only he's all shifty eyed and never looks straight at her. Wake up, Daisy. He's a deceptive, manipulative jerk.
I hate to go all Seinfeld on you guys again but what is up with the dark circles under his eyes? Is he permanently hung over and sleep deprived from having to share his park bench with skid row bums? Or is his eyeliner collecting in his bags because he never washes it off, opting instead for the daily reapply? It's gross so I just don't get it when Daisy says that he makes her nervous and clumsy, he's just soooo damn hot.
It's elimination time again and a bunch of angry young men gather on the risers. Daisy has made London stand off to the side because he hasn't been officially allowed back in the house. Yeah, right.
.
She asks each of them in turn how they feel about London being back. Let's interpret their answers, shall we?
Flex: "In order to be the best, you've got to beat the best."
Translation: "I will be putting my foot so far up your ass you'll be flossing with my shoelaces."
Like he flosses. You gotta love his must-win attitude and Riki totally smiled when he said that. Gee, I wonder who he wants to have come out on top?
Peepers: "I'm just glad to be tackling this problem right now instead of the future."
Translation: "Thank God there's someone else to pick on now, and I can play with my Care Bears in peace."
12 Pack: " You wanna be with me, you're gonna be with me. You wanna be with London, so be it."
Translation: "I don't give a flying fuck, I just signed the contract for 12 Pack of Love."
And TT: "I fought my way to get here and I'm gonna keep on fighting until you kick me out of here."
Translation: "Please don't kick me out before Peepers, please, please!"
So now we know how they all feel, as if there was any doubt and Daisy turns to London. She tells him that because he walked out last time she doesn't trust him and ultimately he doesn't deserve a chain. The boys are doing backflips inside and planning out which cocktail to imbibe first when......rrrrriiip! Pull the needle off the record, holy smokes, she lets him stay.
Now the boys are all planning a slow, painful death for him and which cocktail to imbibe first.
London's a happy camper. Free meals again, Kamchatka flowing like the mighty Mississippi and how much can you get for a Barbie Dream House on Ebay these days? He says that he hears angels singing but that was just Peepers on the other end of the risers imagining the first time London tops him. Alas, it's not to be.
The Ambiguously Gay Duo are in the bottom two. She has to let one go and she's oh-so-sorry that their relationship has suffered over their fight for her love, but the final battle in their divorce is almost complete.
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Comments (10)
I think Daisy and London ought to go on a double date with Jillian and Ed.
1 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 1, 2009 4:31 PM
Uuhhhhhh, wadda ya mean what are you going to do?!?! Find another show immediately dammit!!!!
Twunty, you crack me up every week. I love your take on these idiots.
I have to say I was sorry to see Mr Peepers go - it's like seeing a beloved pet die. Without the beloved part. I bet he's already built a shrine to TT in his basement.
LOVED the gif of her falling on her ass!! I could watch it over and over and over again. And I'm sure I will.
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 10 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on July 2, 2009 4:16 AM
Yes Twunty, you WILL find another show STAT to recap. What would we do without you? I agree with Potty. I had become more interested in following Peepers & TT's relationship than Dazey's. I'll miss the little monkey.
OK, London will end up winning, he will break her heart, bingo, bango, Dazey of Love II. That could be said about any one of these losers.
Who hasn't fallen for the hottie loser manipulator once or twice, maybe even thrice, ahem, but London? They're really asking a lot of us to believe that one.
Thanks Twunty, for another great one.
3 of 10 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:23 AM
I must say, this show has been much more entertaining than I expected. And the recaps are legen - wait for it - dary!
I'm glad that little wuss is gone, I couldn't stand to look at him any longer. I just feel a mix of pity and disdain for him. He needs a good psychiatrist, stat.
What does Daisy find hot about London? He's a nothing. In spite of myself, I kind of like Daisy - I think she's a nice person and she can look really pretty at times (I agree Twunty).
4 of 10 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on July 2, 2009 11:28 AM
Bubbles from Charm School and Peepers should have a baby.
5 of 10 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 2, 2009 12:29 PM
Beebles? Puppers?
I'm really enjoying 12 Pack this season. Maybe it's because he reminds me of a Rock'em Sock'em Robot
And I keep wondering what drug he's been taking and whether there's any left over for me.
6 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 2, 2009 1:20 PM
It has been a long time since I have laughed as hard as I did when you called Peepers an anorexic crip!!
And Slutty_Whore - your comment was priceless.
7 of 10 | Posted by ohionancy | Posted on July 2, 2009 2:05 PM
I think the difference between our hottie losers and hers, shantigal, is that ours were HOT.
We may criticize Jillian the Bachelorette for her bad taste in men (Wes), but she pales by comparison to this little gal. At least pick TT--he's a skinny, no-talent, but I think he is closer to being a decent guy.
If you're going to get your heart broken, it should be by 12-Pack or Flex! Preferably Flex, cuz he still has a package.
8 of 10 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on July 2, 2009 3:50 PM
Just wanted to say Twunty, great job, I know what a bitch it is getting through shows like this (remember "Double Shudder At Love"?) so kudos to you for doing a great job!
love, J-Mo :)
9 of 10 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 2:01 PM
I've got a good idea of what show you should recap next: Megan wants a millionaire. I almost pissed my pissed when I saw the comercial. I love to hate that ho and I hope they all knock her ass down a peg or two.
10 of 10 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on July 9, 2009 9:01 AM