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January 10, 2009

Damages: I Lied, Too

****One of our favorite shows is back on TV with a vengeance! Please welcome Linds with Damages!!

Damages is back and look who's got her big girl pants on? It's little Ellen Parsons, all grown up and still working for Patty Hewes, although this time she's working undercover with the FBI to take Patty down from the inside...I give her three episodes before that brilliant plan blows up in her face.

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Glenn Close will make a coat out of you, woman. RUN!

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January 16, 2009

Damages: Burn it, Shred it, I Don't Care

Previously on the Patty Hewes show, Ellen is still working with the world's two most boring FBI agents to feed Patty a case she can't resist and bring her down from the inside. When she's not busy setting up a plan that will surely bring her eventual destruction, Ellen packs her days by telling support groups to peace out and taking up with mysterious, Timothy Olyphant-shaped gun pushers. Meanwhile, an old buddy of Patty's named Danny Purcell has gotten himself into a mess of trouble with a mysterious organization who may or may not have killed his wife by the end of the season's opener. Nothing says "Welcome to the New Year" like a strangling.

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January 23, 2009

Damages: I Know Your Pig

This week on Damages, Glenn Close scares the crap out of everyone.

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But in a much kinder and gentler way than usual.

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January 30, 2009

Damages: Hey, Mr. Pibb!

Close-up on Purcell, your favorite presumed wife slayer and mine, as he stands at a kitchen sink innocently washing dishes. Boy, this is the nicest jail sentence ever. Purcell looks so peaceful and happy and I know what you're thinking...wouldn't it be the best thing ever if "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" suddenly came on the radio and he just ...coudn't...stop from...singing for some reason, and then Glenn Close waltzes in and starts doing the happy booty side-bump dance with him and then the door opens again and its...Jeff Goldblum! And...okay, sorry. Come on, you know I've been waiting like four episodes for a 'William Hurt in the kitchen scene.'

2.4_pic1_bigchill.jpg Ironically, now they are too proud to beg

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February 6, 2009

Damages: I Agree, it Wasn't Funny

Patty gets suspicious of Ellen, Uncle Pete gets his hands dirty, Phil gets kind of dirty all over, and Wes gets even stalkier, this time with more guns. It's Damages - episode 5!

So where do vengeful master she-lawyers and their young, novice FBI informants go to get a little R&R? No, not a $59-a-night Super 8 Motel next to a toxic run-off in West Virginia. That was last week. They go to the spa, of course.

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"I don't think there's enough rum in my relaxing protein shake. Luckily I've got a flask hidden in my bathrobe."

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February 15, 2009

Damages: A Pretty Girl in a Leotard

Frobisher's baaaaack!!

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And he's more of a wuss than ever!

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February 22, 2009

Damages: New York Sucks

Coke busts and dirty tradings and hookers, oh my! Plus, lots and lots of Uncle Pete until, well, you know...

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Back off, senile. Becker wasn't nominated.

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March 2, 2009

Damages: Had to Tweeze That Out of My Kidney

Patty reminisces about her girlhood days, Frobisher's newly formed conscience retracts into his brain, and Uncle Pete makes his final farewell, for realz this time.

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Well there goes the only sex symbol on this show.

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March 9, 2009

Damages: You Got Your Prom Date Pregnant

Mystery, intrigue and long-awaited for make-out sessions. Plus karaoke, Damages-style!

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Won't be anything left!

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March 16, 2009

Damages: Uh Oh. Out Come the Skeletons


Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum - I smell the scent of a backstabbing Dum...In further news, Patty nearly made me wet myself from fear (again)

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Goodbye, Van Peebles (code name Dee). We hardly knew ye. Tell Uncle Pete we said "hey."

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March 23, 2009

Damages: London. Of course.

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That's right - No. 1 movie in the country, bitches. My days on cable are numbered. I'm flying out of this show on the glorious back of one Mr. Nick Cage.

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March 30, 2009

Damages: Look What He Dug Up This Time

Lots and lots of screaming in this second-to-last episode of Damages, plus some questions get answered, some loyalties are tested, and one all-purpose remote control joins Uncle Pete in that big living room couch cushion in the sky.

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At least Pete can change the channel now.

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April 9, 2009

Damages: Trust me


It's the season finale of Damages, and all mysteries will be revealed...

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We finally learn who shot J.R.! (It was ELLEN, in the broom closet, with the revolver.)

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March 4, 2010

Damages: An Inconceivable Truth

***We know it's a bit late in the season, but we love our Damages and finally found the recapper to take on this beast! Please welcome our newest hero, SlifeGoesOn!!

This week on Damages: Patty is warned by Judge Riley (and by extension, disgruntled viewers at home) to step up her game - and boy does she ever! Patty comes out of the gate swinging, enlisting newbie Alex in her scheme to become a pimp! Tom and Joe Tobin have more in common than we thought, as both struggle to find enough cash to make ends meet. Ellen steps into the ring and gets in a few good shots, but it's Tom who proves the ultimate champion as he gets out some much needed aggression.

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In this corner, the reigning champ, Patty Hewes!

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March 9, 2010

Damages: Pilots of the Caribbean

In what was arguably the best episode of the season, Damages put the Tobin case on the backburner this week, and got back to doing what it does best - reveling in the dark, twisted relationship between Ellen Parsons and her mentor-cum-rival, Patty Hewes. The formidable foes spent the majority of the episode in a deliciously catty pas-de-deux, with poor, naïve Alex caught in the middle, as usual! The episode constantly teetered on the edge of daytime soap opera silliness, threatening to turn into a cheesy, Sapphic subplot from The L Word. But Glenn Close and Rose Byrne play it up with such intense ferocity, it's truly terrifying. And like any two lovers on a trial separation, they ultimately can't deny their unbridled passion for each other.

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March 18, 2010

Damages: Happy St. Patty's Day

Nothing can compare to last week's amazing episode of Damages, but this week's installment was still a treat! Maybe it was the luck of the Irish, (St. Patrick's Day is this week) but everyone seemed to come out a winner, especially the viewers, who got their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in the form of Ted Dansen, who FINALLY resurfaced as smarmy Arthur Frobisher. His long-overdue return was accompanied by the arrival of guest star Craig Bierko, who's lucky to be working at all. Ellen ran into Patty's estranged son and his pregnant cougar girlfriend, and was lucky she didn't get slapped in the face when she made the hilarious, bonehead mistake of congratulating Patty and calling her a grandma! Patty then tried to make Jill an offer she couldn't refuse, but it was no such luck. Tom greased a few palms all over town, as both he and Joe Tobin saw their money troubles ease up a little bit. But it was crazy Carol who was the luckiest lass of them all. In a desperate bid for attention, she decided to go missing - and the trick worked! Everyone rallied to find her, leaving no Krispy Kreme or Coldstone unturned. Luckily, our resident leprechaun Leonard Winstone found her hiding out in Brooklyn with a mysterious, yet familiar ally, who turned out to be her accomplice in Danielle Marchetti's murder!

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I'm back, bitches!

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About Damages

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to TVgasm Recaps in the Damages category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

Daisy of Love is the previous category.

Dance Wars is the next category.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.