We cut to a balding dude in glasses, walking down a hallway as ominous music sounds. He's a new player (I miss the classy Southern charm of one Mr. Ray Fisk.) The man is heading towards a boardroom, where three suited guys are discussing "findings that could come out next month." The glasses man, who is addressed as Mr. Purcell by a secretary, barges into the office, looking right pissed. He holds up a folder. "This isn't my work," he says.
"Mr. Purcell, calm down," says the main suit. "This is horse shit," Purcell continues. Strong words. Followed by stronger actions. Purcell reaches down and wipes off all of the documents from the conference table onto the floor. There, that'll show 'em. Nothing gets your point across like acting like a 3-year-old on a McNugget high.
Take that, evil corporate documents of evil!
Actually, no one seems impressed.
"This ends today, do you hear me?" Purcell says. The suit just looks at him. This sounds like a job for....Patty Hewes! Oh wait, she's busy with some charity shit or something....
Speak of the devil (literally), Patty walks into Ellen's office for an update on the charity. "With any luck we can start doing some good," Patty says. "That's the general idea," Ellen says, blithely. Watch the sarcasm, girl. Patty sees when you are sleeping, she knows when you're awake...
Patty closes Ellen's office door. "You think I'm just creating this to clear my conscience," she says, sitting down. "Why would you need to clear your conscience?" Ellen asks. Patty brings up what they did to win the Frobisher case (i.e. blackmailing Ray Fisk into suicide, for all of you slow learners out there.) Ellen says her conscience is clear about that and the two women stare at each other for a moment. If fake-polite looks could kill...Patty asks how Ellen is doing, using her best matronly tone. Ellen says she'd rather not talk about it, and work's the best thing for her right now. Patty asks about the Frobisher investigation and David's murder, and Ellen explains that Frobisher was in critical condition after the shooting and is now in an unknown hospital. No one can find him.
No one except us, that is, because the next thing we see is the walls of a hospital room, followed by hands adjusting an IV drip, followed by...Santa Claus! Oh wait, no, that's Frobisher, lying in a bed and sporting a full-on, glorious white beard. Man, getting shot in the gut and losing 2 billion dollars did not do this dude much good. Frobisher talks to his only friend, a doctor he calls Rudy, telling him he feels "like shit." The good doc Rudy gives him some ice chips. "You don't know who I am do you?" Frob says. "I'm the most hated man in America, and you're being nice to me." He looks like he's going to cry. Oh, Frobisher. I've missed you so.
Look what they've done to my glorious chin!! Bastards!!
Patty is walking through her office on her cell, cajoling a senator into being on her charity board. She runs into Ellen, who tells her there's a problem - Sam Arsenault is backing out of the charity, withdrawing his entire contribution. Patty looks piiiisssssed. I don't smell good things for Sam Arsenault's future.
Sure enough, next we see Patty walking beside the Samster in his office as he makes small-talk. "Girls today could learn something from you, Patty," Sam says. "You know how to wear a skirt." Oh, this dude has no idea how hard he's going down, just for that comment. Patty laughs. "But you're one of the boys, always have been," he continues. "Well, except for the vagina," Patty says. Patty is rocking the off-color jokes this episode.
Down to business. Sam explains that the Republican party is going to back him for governor, so he has to back out of the charity because "the elephants" don't like Patty. Patty mentally puts elephants on her "animals to kill" list and I worry for the gentle beasts of the Sahara. Patty asks why Sam is really backing out.
"Let me tell you a story," Sam says. I hope it involves unicorns and a happy ending.
« Biggest Loser: Spandex is a RIGHT! | Main | Double Shot At Love: The Truth Will Get You Stabbed »
Comments (3)
Hey Linds! WELcome! Great job, awesome recap, I love your style! I have never watched this show (okay, actually I DID see that weird scene with Frobisher in the field crawling and looking all shot and stuff, but when I realized that it was Ted Danson, I changed the channel 'cuz I thought it was some lame "Cheers" reunion thing). Still, it's a sign of a damn good writer when someone like me who has never before watched the show and knows nothing about it can pick up the storyline and follow (and now I'm totally going to IHOP for a Grand Slam) so kudos to you!
love, J-Mo :)
1 of 3 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on January 10, 2009 9:49 AM
Hey, Linds - I've been reading recaps and comments at this site for a couple of years now and have never been compelled to comment - until now. Although I have read many entertaining and/or well written recaps over the years, I have to say, I think yours is one of the best - both entertaining (very funny, without straining or wearing out the jokes) and very well written. I missed most of this episode, but your recap was so clearly written I feel that I've seen it. Kudos to you! I look forward to reading more of your recaps.
2 of 3 | Posted by notme | Posted on January 10, 2009 12:17 PM
I love this show! I am so glad to see it's being recapped! Great job. I'd add a little more snark, though. You're gonna need a lot of sarcasm to keep up!
3 of 3 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 12, 2009 4:56 PM