Man, this whole episode is oh-for-two on the storytelling front. Where's my goddamn unicorn?
Then Olyphant, who we find out is named Wes, explains that it was only a dream. Yellow scarf asks Ellen if she's had any dreams this week. Ellen says she can't sleep, and Wes says, "her fiancé was murdered a month ago, how's she supposed to sleep?" Ah, so he's the knight-in-shining-armor type. Violent and possibly deranged, but still.
"Cheap coffee will eff you up, for realz."
Speaking of sleeping (please note my quality segue way), we cut to Patty dozing on her couch. Idiot bomber Jed himself walks up on her and sees her struggling in her sleep. Flashback to Patty with shorter hair, at the beach house, ordering the murder of Ellen on her cell phone (just like ordering from Dominos, only with faster delivery time and worse follow-through). Present-tense Patty wakes up gasping. Michael asks if she's okay, and she lies and says she is.
New scene, new folk. Daniel Purcell is sleeping in a bed with his wife, when his young daughter walks in and says that she hears someone down in the living room. Daniel gets up to investigate, which seems like a dumb move to me (I'm much more of a hide-under-the-bed type). Mrs. Purcell and spawn wait in the bedroom. Daniel makes his way through the house as ominous music plays. He picks up a fire poker (why is it always a fire poker? Does anyone actually use a fire poker to poke fire, or is their actual purpose just to wave in the face of intruders?) and heads into the kitchen.
Through the glass door we see a scary-looking figure in a hooded sweatshirt, staring back in at him. It's legitimately freaky. Purcell holds up the poker and the hooded figure takes off. I repeat, Dun Dun Dunnnnhhhh!
"I'll kill you, you sunofabitch!" Daniel yells. His wife tells him that the intruder was in his office.
Next we see Sam Arsenault's face. "You hear about Lily?" He asks into a headpiece. "God, Sam, I am so sorry," says a voice on the other line, belonging to one Patty Hewes. We see her in her office, holding a New York Post with Lily behind escorted away by police on the cover, under a headline that reads, "Say it ain't snow!" Ha, ha. I love the Post. Sam is freaking out. "The one time she tries cocaine she gets arrested and splashed all over the front pages," he says. Double ha ha. Parents just don't understand.
Patty asks how she can help, and Sam asks her to call the DA and get the charges dropped. He brings up the charity, and Patty tells him not to mention it. "God no, Sam, I would never hold you hostage like that," she says (except for right now, when I'm kind of holding you hostage like that). She says she'll see what she can do. "No need to thank me, Sam. This is family." Man, Patty is awesome. It's nice to see her putting her evil to good use like this.
Pete goes into Ellen's office and tells her that Frobisher is at the River Edge Clinic, but the room number is still off-limits to anyone but family. Pete tells Ellen to give it time, and she'll get her shot to prosecute Frobisher. Ellen looks unconvinced.
Speaking of Frobisher, old beard-y himself is lying in his hospital bed. Doctor Rudy asks if they ever found the guy who shot him, and Frobisher says no, it was complicated. "I tell you, though, that bullet was like a wake-up call for me, Rudy." You know what I prefer as a wake-up call? A good Grand Slam breakfast from iHop, heavy on the melted butter. None of this bullets and dead babies nonsense. Frobisher goes on. "Most people out there thought I was a real asshole." He mentions his family, who it seems haven't come to visit him since his wake-up bullet. It seems his wife called just that morning and wants to visit.
Doctor Rudy goes to shave the beard, and Frobisher starts to flip out. He cries, and his heart monitor rises. "I don't want her to see me like this! I'm pissing myself Ernie, I can't even eat solid food!" Dude, I thought his name was Rudy? You totally just called him Ernie. Ernie/Rudy tells Frobisher to relax. After a moment's pause, Frobisher's heart monitor becomes normal and he changes tactics. He decides he'd rather not shave, and he asks the doc to put his tubes back up his nose for when his wife comes. Nice move, Frob.
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Comments (3)
Hey Linds! WELcome! Great job, awesome recap, I love your style! I have never watched this show (okay, actually I DID see that weird scene with Frobisher in the field crawling and looking all shot and stuff, but when I realized that it was Ted Danson, I changed the channel 'cuz I thought it was some lame "Cheers" reunion thing). Still, it's a sign of a damn good writer when someone like me who has never before watched the show and knows nothing about it can pick up the storyline and follow (and now I'm totally going to IHOP for a Grand Slam) so kudos to you!
love, J-Mo :)
1 of 3 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on January 10, 2009 9:49 AM
Hey, Linds - I've been reading recaps and comments at this site for a couple of years now and have never been compelled to comment - until now. Although I have read many entertaining and/or well written recaps over the years, I have to say, I think yours is one of the best - both entertaining (very funny, without straining or wearing out the jokes) and very well written. I missed most of this episode, but your recap was so clearly written I feel that I've seen it. Kudos to you! I look forward to reading more of your recaps.
2 of 3 | Posted by notme | Posted on January 10, 2009 12:17 PM
I love this show! I am so glad to see it's being recapped! Great job. I'd add a little more snark, though. You're gonna need a lot of sarcasm to keep up!
3 of 3 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on January 12, 2009 4:56 PM