Carrie Ann says everyone is a winner, but specifically points out Kesley. She notes that when Kelsey entered the competition she wanted to be like Jessica Simpson, but that now "Jessica Simpson's got nothing on you girl." I wonder if Lachey chuckled off camera. Speaking of Lachey, he then interviews Kelsey turning this into the Kelsey show, but in all honesty I think if anyone is gonna get a career out of this it'll be her. How hard can it be to make a country album? You know Wal-Mart would eat that shit up.
Red states = many Wal Marts = lots of patriotism = Kelsey
Team Carrie Ann took the loss of Alyssa hard last week and so did she. I feel so bad for her - she says "so close" in such a sad little voice as she's bawling. Did Bradley seriously have to stay? Carrie Ann and her goddamn May December romances. Anyways, Chris tries to feign being upset about Alyssa saying "I just got close to her." But you know he's thinking "I'm glad it's not me." Carrie Ann tells them that this week they'll be doing Papa was a rolling Stone again. On one on one camera time, Carrie Ann asserts that Team Carrie Ann IS the next supergroup. Qis says they're ready to take that record contract and run. They seem awfully cocky - i smell upset!!!
They do a typical run through of the team pre performance and for this one I like how Elizabeth looks like she's trying to fuck me into buying some software or a copier from her. Or is that just me?
Geek Squad!
There isn't much difference between this performance and the first time they did it except that this time they look more out of sync. Carrie Ann says that number makes her so happy but then she loses coherence and licks her teeth like she just ate a bunch of contraband cause the Temptations get her in the mood for that. So, maybe it's not the number that makes her happy. Bruno notes that Elizabeth really works that camera, which I'm sure will be useful when we see a sex tape in 8 months when she's irrelevant. Lachey asks what the best part about everything has been for Elizabeth and she says it's the friendships (yawn).
For Carrie Ann, however, it was clearly the coke
We come back from commercial to Dancecenter where Lisa Rinna's face is falling and she looks really hungry for embroys. Kenny Mayne was definitely joking with the makeup, as it's clear he's going for a David Bowie/Tim Curry androgynous look. It kinda works. That being said, they're back to announce the first three contestants on Dancing With the Stars, and we start with an Oscar winning actress who isn't ignoring you, she's just deaf! Marlee Matlin is the first announced star, and Kenny Mayne quips that she won't have to listen to Bruno.
I don't even know what a stupid Italian accent sounds like
The next star announced is Penn Gilette, one half of magician duo Penn and Teller. Kenny Mayne calls it courageous that he's coming back after the tiger incident, but Lisa Rinna doesn't exactly understand sarcasm and tries to correct Kenny. Jerry Rice is concerned in Penn's large stature as he's really going to have to be fit to participate, but I'm more optimistic that he'll do a magic trick in the middle of the number, and make Samantha Harris' clothes disappear.
Abracada, milf boobies!
Our last star is Marisa Janet Winokur, Tony winner for Hairspray and typical chubby girl in a number of films. Although, in her headshot she looks like she's lost some lbs, so maybe she'll be slim when she comes back. Although, to be honest, the best thing about her was that she was a chubby girl who could move - for some reason that visual is captivating. Jerry Rice also makes mention of the fact that she's shorter than Drew Lachey and that's saying something.
Dance piggy dan...wait, are you kind of hot now?
Lachey comes back with the Dancing with the Stars trophy to rub it in Jerry's face, saying it's making his arm tired. But all it does is prove Jerry's point by showing what a little man poor Drew Lachey is.
Seriously, this thing is getting heavy
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Comments (5)
First of all, HayHor let me say, way to take one for the team in having to recap this show. Your recaps made it a lot more entertaining than it actually was. I must mention the fact that Lachey said "The winner of the FIRST Dance Wars is..." and that he also said see you next season. Now is this hopeful conjecture on his part or is it a done deal? I'm not sure I'll be watching Season 2. Guess it depends what else is on at the time. I was a little surprised Team Bruno won, but I agree that Kelsey is one hot little number. Some of the new "Dancing Stars" are pretty interesting choices. You are right about Adam Carolla, he definitely gets on my female nerves for some reason. So anyway, I was not really planning on watching That's Amore, because I am biologically of an age where the only thing I'm supposed to do with MTV is bitch about remembering the days when they actually played videos. And Remote Control, hey-o, that was a great show. But anyway, I'll still be reading your recaps.
1 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 20, 2008 2:51 AM
BTW, the Happy Feet caption was priceless! Drew was actually a good dancer on DWTS but he looked pretty damn awkward with some of the steps in that number.
2 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 20, 2008 4:41 AM
this may sound stupid but wouldn't marlee matlin have trouble dancing and keeping the beat if she cant hear the music?
please someone help me out here
3 of 5 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on February 20, 2008 9:32 AM
I think the plan is to use an intricate light-signal system. Kind of like Richard Dreyfuss' touching rendition of the Beatles "Beautiful Boy" in Mr. Holland's Opus. That way Marlee can use her overdeveloped 4 senses.
Actually, that's all made up. I'm sure they'll have some kind of system that will be a good 5 minutes of filler on the show as they explain it to us. But hey, if a shrewy, gimp divorcee can do it, why not a seemingly sweet, nonthreatening deaf person?!?
4 of 5 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on February 20, 2008 11:52 AM
HayHor, since Team Bruno won a recording contract, what name do you think they are going to record under? The Douche, The Mormon, The Hottie, and The Other Girl?
5 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 20, 2008 12:52 PM