Testimonials

The girls come out onstage in some pretty hot black and white outfits singing and dancing to "The Beat Goes On." It's a cool song and the choreography was well done, but the girls are all doing a pretty bad job with the vocals. Carrie Ann notices right away but also comments that Alyssa lit up the room and that Kelsey was both powerful and consistent. Bruno notes how difficult "stylized choregraphy" or whatever can be and how you have to be on top of every note - I can see what he means, the song was choppy. He says Kelsey accomplished it, but goes right for the jugular on Corina after that, saying she didn't hit her opening notes and it's something she's going to have to work on. He then looks awkwardly away - looks like this spells trouble for Corina.

"Either that or thinking about Zach gave me a hernia"

We move on to the next three girls starting with Mariel, our little tween powerhouse from Chicago. She shows off a drawing she made to her grandmother, confirming my suspicion that she is lying about her age and is, in fact, 14. Sadly, her grandmother Lily is dying of cancer (seriously?! This is getting ridiculous) and she says on camera, in a weak, accented English that "for all we know this might be my last to see her perform or something." In other words we could have a potential final 3 of a guy whose brother has down syndrome, a guy whose mother has multiple sclerosis, and a girl whose grandmother is dying of cancer. You know that those producers are crossing their fingers that one of these relatives bites the bullet for dramatic effect. Cynical, I know, but come on. They wouldn't be showing us this stuff if it wasn't a possibility.

Producer 1: "10 to 1 odds that grandma's the first to choke"
Producer 2: "I'll take that bet. My money's on Maxx's nursing home friends. Did you see those people?"

We meet Lacey and she introduces us to her life in Tennessee. And from the looks of her house, preaching about Jesus is a good line of business. Anyways, we find out that her name isn't Lacey, and that Lacey is in fact a stage name - real name unknown. When not wearing terrible wigs, "Lacey" is a choir director at her church (nepotism is cool with Jesus, right?).

"All this praying is makin' me tired. Y'all don't mind if I liven things up with some gospel high notes and finger waggin' do ya?"

Last we come to Elizabeth, the overly flirtatious girl from episode 1. Elizabeth is adopted and has had a supportive family, but probably some issues she's not telling the cameras. Her mom believes that "Elizabeth is going to capture America's hearts, just like she did ours 20 years ago." Awww, an adoption storyline. I hope her birthparents show up for the finale.

"Hold on there, buddy. She's my mealticket and I'm not giving her up!"

The three girls sing Lady Marmalade and they're clearly the three best female voices in the competition. Elizabeth starts off on lead vocals and starts to move closer to Bruno as she's singing. Bruno creepily stares at her as he mouths off the words and I realize I may have to rethink my position on Bruno's sexuality - instead of being into boys, I think he's just straight up wanting it all from everywhere. Crazy Europeans.

"Hold on, let me just pull out my stack of singles"

Bruno loved the performance and calls them "Dreamgirls in the making." Maybe I have to re-rethink that last thought on Bruno. Carrie Ann says Mariel blew her over and keeps trying to make a lame joke about how she so blown over that she's rolling down the street. Stick to judging and Japanese pop stardom, please. But domoarigato, nonetheless.

Before selection of the girls, Bruno and Carrie Ann debate which people they want. Again, Bruno's quotes are the best and I will do the inflections [as they're both numerous and notable in this montage] as well as I can.

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Posted in Dance Wars by HayHor at 2:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: hayhor on Jan 17, 2008 06:33 AM.