Testimonials

Regardless, their song is going to be Conga by Gloria Estefan, which, if you haven't seen it, is one of the greatest music videos of all time. Still, I'm holding the Christmas album against her as my mother plays it nonstop in casa de HayHor during the Holidays. You can only hear "A Very Special Christmas" in that nasally tone so many times before you want to dip your head into a frying pan full of fried plantains. Moving on, Team Carrie Ann is wearing white for this performance which is appropriately bland. It's a boring act save for a couple of good dance moves from the guys. The guys also come together to create a 3 person spinning chair for the girls out of their arms, which is a pretty terrible idea as that's not something you can just do quickly.

Good thing Zack wasn't wearing one of those suits. He only recently beat incontinence.

Carrie Ann feels that it was a winning performance, and was happy that she could hear "no breathing" from the ladies (sadist). If there was one problem, she thinks Elizabeth had a wardrobe malfunction, but those puppies are out because they were meant to be, even on a family show like this. Bruno surprises everyone (including yours truly) and says that he really enjoyed it - it was fully chroegraphed and there was no gimmick. Carrie Ann then gives him something called a hug, but I think a better word for it would be a smug, no?

Carrie Ann: "Oh, thank you for indulging my over-inflated sense of self, Bruno!"
Bruno: "Ok, great, now that's enough bitch."

Team Bruno lost last week, but I'm predicting right now, based on last week's performance and an overall sense of pity, they'll win the vote this week. Tony's exit is revisited, and he says that we should keep watching out because he's going to be doing "my thing." Not sure what his thing is, but I hope for his sake it's enough to get some self respect after doing this show. Zack is shown backstage crying, as he's truly upset about Tony's elimination. But I don't know why he's attached to these people - this group won't exist after their Hollywood Records produced LP does slightly better than Vanilla Ice's rock album and slightly worse than Danity Kane.

While Team Carrie Ann got to go to the spa, Team Bruno got a much more fulfilling, yet far less relaxing afternoon of hanging out with people who have down syndrome. Zack's brother has down syndrome and after watching the show, the head of the National Down syndrome coalition or something like that arranged for this to happen. And listen, I love a sweet hearted person with down syndrome just like the next guy, but nothing compares to having someone scratch my ass with mud and wrap me up in seaweed. And based on this picture, you know Phil's just like Bradley, only instead of saying "I'm not a diva I just like nice things," he's thinking it.

"Although some downies stroking my ego ain't so bad."

In all seriousness, the people there couldn't be happier to see Team Bruno. They acted like they were the biggest stars in the world, especailly Zack. The team was friendly with them and will probably be better off in their performances, knowing those guys are out there rooting for them. They take that positive momentum to practice with Bruno who does something to make Zack lose focus. Bruno wants Zack to switch on the sex appeal, but our man Zack is (unshockingly) a mormon. That might explain why he says he says "I don't even like saying that word [sex]." Good thing dentistry/performing pays well cause you're gonna need to find yourself a wife before you explode, buddy.

"Vote for me, Mitt!"

Bruno says that the chemistry between them has to work and it's the most difficult number they've ever done. The song they're dancing to is "Sway," which based on the practice footage, is supposed to be sexy. It ends up not doing much for Kelsey and Lacey as they're kind of background players in this one. Zack and Phil, meanwhile, make this into something like the Ace and Gary Variety hour. But instead of acting in tandem, it's more of a competition, with Phil really showing superior vocal range and Zach showing an absolute inability to act like he's not intimidated by a vaginas, to which I say, I know the feeling. Overall, the act would've only played well with a canasta club from Palm Beach County.

This plays well at the Copa Cabana Early Bird Dinner performance.

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Posted in Dance Wars by HayHor at 6:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Last Comment: Splotchie on Feb 15, 2008 01:21 PM.