I didn't really notice while they were dancing, but Zack and Phil have fake tattoos from a plastic bubble in a toy dispenser. I guess ABC shelled out too much money on that spa day for Team Carrie Ann. Bruno says the performance, tattoos and all, was like Dancing with the Stars and American Idol combined. Bruno then asks if Lachey knows how hard it is to train the way the contestants are training, to which Lachey laughs like a douchebag and says, "Do I?" in a mocking tone. Although, I can see how it can be hard to let go of that fleeting boyband fame from a decade ago. Carrie Ann felt it was difficult to pull that kind of number off and they did a good job, but that Philip was a standout. Philip you've redeemed yourself with your voice this time, but will your lame personality be able to cool it down?
"With this face? Not a chance".
Time for the whoring out portion of our show to begin, and this week's Chelsea Clinton, so to speak, is the High School Musical stage tour. I don't know much about High School Musical, but from my impression, this high school looks like it's in the seventh circle of hell. And I think the guy in the sparkly pants, red shirt, black vest and platinum hair was sent to annoy me for eternity. Thank goodness for DVR fast forward (sorry if any of you want to hear a recap of this High School Musical performance, but I can only take so much).
"You can't fast forward me in your nightmares!"
We come back from that house of horrors with Team Carrie Ann's clipreel. Carrie Ann voice overs that sometimes in rehearsal Alyssa can be a little bit lazy and also makes excuses for things. They then cut to a clip of Alyssa forgetting something and saying, "I flaked out." She looks like she's on whatever Britney was on during the VMA's, cause she's just shuffling around and pretending like it's dancing. Should we be concerned? She could be an even more f-list version of Jessica Sierra.
"Got any Percs?"
.
Carrie Ann also feels the need to praise Bradley for his dance ability this week after Qis shows some trouble with the Latin moves and Bradley helps him pull it together. He says it's because "I'm a jock and my body is going to move in ways I can't imagine". Bradley, being the starfucker that he is, wants to make a name for himself in the dancing and singing world. That'll work great at the Starlight Diner, where your waiters and waitresses are the show.
"Would you like some Goulet with that Pastrami?"
Team Carrie Ann is up and they'll be singing "I Need to Know" by Marc Anthony. Speaking of, did anyone see El Cantante? Man, this guy can play a coked up asshole with the best of them. Moving on, Carrie Ann says her team is gonna get down and dirty and have some "flava". I believe the flavor she's talking about is bland, if that even is a flavor. It's a mostly boring performance only highlighted by Qis' drumming on some work stool. Although, I think he's like the Ashlee Simpson of stool drumming cause there was definitely some "backup tracks" or whatever the excuse is called.
We go to Bruno and Carrie Ann's thoughts on the performance, and Carrie Ann is typically supportive and boring, saying that she's amazed at how the group has found its own unique style. Bruno, on the other hand, saw the forest for the trees and said that it took a long time to get into the number. He says they didn't need the gimmick or the handkerchief like Pavarotti (there was some weird handkerchief exchange that looked like it was choreographed by Carrie Ann during a hot flash). Carrie Ann says it's a style that comes from the streets (handkerchiefs? really?) and Bruno starts screaming Pavarotti repetitively. Meanwhile, Carrie Ann is literally getting annoyed at him screaming it over and over again, and rolls her eyes at him.
"As long as you don't say it three times in front of a mirror we're cool. Otherwise, he'll come back and eat you."
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Comments (8)
Yo HayHor! Haven't even finished reading the recap yet but I have to mention that Zach is the ex-fiancé of Dancing With The Stars very own Julianne Hough. If they never got even a LITTLE jiggy with it, well, no wonder he is the EX-fiancé.
1 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 14, 2008 11:16 AM
"As long as you don't say it three times in front of a mirror we're cool. Otherwise, he'll come back and eat you."
OMG, love ya HH!!!
I should not have been surprised that Carrie Ann kept Bradley because she had such nips for his dancing ability, but thank God next week is the finale.
2 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 14, 2008 11:47 AM
WHAT?
Was this at reality blurred or something? Did Nads cover this? How did I miss this? I need some sources, wintersux. I was totally unaware of this and now feel like a derelict recapper.
3 of 8 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on February 14, 2008 11:53 AM
I don't remember for sure where I read it. I think it might have been at TVGuide.com. This is the guy she broke up with around the time that she was partnered with Apolo. It's been a while since I read it. Unless I just hallucinated the whole dang thing.
4 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 14, 2008 12:00 PM
I wikipedia'd it and it's true. I've dated a couple of jewish girls and it's always dicey since I'm not an MOT (member of the tribe). I see now, however, that the mormons are even more serious about that kind of stuff.
Thanks for the scoop, wintersux. I'll use this info to pick on Zack next week and raise some (as of now undeveloped) conspiracy theories.
5 of 8 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on February 14, 2008 12:08 PM
You are very welcome, HayHor. Consider it my Valentine's Day present to you. :) Just don't ask me why I didn't mention it earlier...I dunno. I guess the "afraid of sex" principal is what reminded me.
6 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 14, 2008 12:51 PM
Sorry, I meant principle, not principal.
7 of 8 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on February 14, 2008 1:01 PM
Funny as always HayHor. Great seeing the Charity breakdown clip again, thanks.
BTW, its true that Zack was Julian's fiancee and that he is Mormon, but so is she so they both would likely shun genitals until marriage. Hard to believe though given the way she moves that fab bod of hers.
I'm so glad that next week is the finale although I still don't understand how this whole deal works. If our vote next week is going to decide the winner it can't be based on the number of people left on each team because Carrie Ann would either have it won already or it would be a tie. So to determine the winner they really only needed us to vote one dang time and there was no reason to get rid of any of the contestants beforehand. Sheesh, I hate that they didn't think this show out any better than they did.
8 of 8 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on February 15, 2008 1:21 PM