Testimonials

I've made no secret of the fact that IMO, Sabrina Bryan doesn't belong in this competition, having produced and starred in a dance DVD. I'm not all that impressed by her. Part of it is my complaint about her profession being too closely linked to dancing...part of it is I just don't relate to giggly, perky teens, and she annoys me.

Sabrina was faced with an unusual challenge this week, however, when partner Mark revealed he is a serious momma's boy. And to compound the problem, Momma's a three-time World Latin Champion. Great. Overbearing and talented. And who in their right mind wants to do sexy moves in front of someone's mother. This is the stuff of which nightmares are made...not to mention years of therapy. And it's even more awkward when you add the rumors about Sabrina and Mark really dating. Their rhumba was performed to the marvelous oldie saluting adultery, Me and Mrs. Jones. I guess it was meant to emphasize they've "got a thing goin' on." The result was almost more intimacy than I want to witness, unless I'm using the hotel pay-per-view. The judges fought to see who could be more effusive in their compliments: great, no weaknesses, superb musicality, blah blah blah. A score of 28.

Sabrina checks her anti-perspirant.

Jennie Garth and Derek headed to the stage next for a samba. Jennie was garbed in an unfortunate yellow feathery fringe number that included some kind of tail, making her look like a less-clumsy version Big Bird. Pity Derek didn't don a Kermit suit to go with it. The dance itself was alright, but it's always strange watching these two, as they give off a vibe closer to buddies or siblings that makes these kind of sultry, sexy dances a little odd...like if Donny and Marie were to perform one as a couple. I believe Jennie is who the producers are hoping will ultimately win DWTS, as they've made it very clear they want a woman champion this time...so the judges are always gentle with her, telling her how talented she is, and how she is improving. 25 points.

"Never-Never Land is that way."

Helio Castroneves and Julianne continue to get battered by harsh judging. I think the people in charge are trying to drive the man out, as he presents the biggest threat to their goal of a woman winning. I'm fairly certain mysterious phone calls, covert memos, and a grassy knoll are all somehow involved. In the lead-in video, Julianne tries to teach Helio not to flash his infectious smile during their dance. And he succeeds for the performance in keeping a serious expression while they present a serviceable rhumba. My only objection is to Helio's outfit, which I think may have been stolen from Jack Lalanne. (It's arcane reference week.) Carrie Ann stated she was unsatisfied with the dance, and complained about a lack of chemistry. Len agreed, saying it was mechanical, and he's experienced more warmth at the dentist. Bruno said Helio looked like he was in pain. Where was this brutality when they were reviewing Mark Cuban? Only 23 points.

Melanie B. and Maksim were both battling illnesses this week...sore throats, ear infections, and a horrible infestation of former pop stars. Yes, the Spice Girls have re-formed for a new album and tour. Gosh. I'm quaking with excitement. Of course, they needed to film part of a video right now, so Old Spice and Maks high-tailed it to London where they practiced their samba between photo ops. In spite of being germ-laden, they deliver an impressive performance. Len praised them for getting their "bums in gear." Bruno described it as lively pleasure. Carrie Ann declared it was the best samba of the night. And it never hurts that Maks was wearing an open front shirt. Final tally: 29 points.

"Remember...if the judges score us low, we breath our germs on 'em."

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Posted in Dancing with the Stars by CattyFan at 12:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: weasel dearest on Oct 29, 2007 12:49 PM.