So far this week, I've endured three power outages (making it a challenge to get this column written and up,) and now we're getting the affects of a tropical storm: stinging icy rain and 75 mile per hour wind gusts. Makes me long for a simple MidWestern Tornado. Because of the lateness of the column, I've combined the performance show and the results into one, so if you haven't seen who gets the boot yet, don't read this column.
Regardless, I have bigger problems: with Mark Cuban having been exiled from the celebrity ranks of Dancing With The Stars, whomever shall I ridicule?
I think I'll go with the judges, who I believe intentionally weight the scores to give certain stars a better chance of staying on the show.
They may hear no evil and see no evil, but speak no evil is a whole 'nother deal.
Let's stop pretending these scores are anything other than biased. For example, I've pointed out the sweet and gentle treatment they use for Jennie Garth while they tend to skewer Helio Castroneves. My theory is they want Helio to go, and Jennie Garth - or possibly Mel B. - to win. Meanwhile, they turn a blind eye to the deficiencies of unbendable Cameron Mathison, because you wouldn't want to lose the only celebrity currently starring on an ABC T.V. show. My proof? Season One winner Kelly Monaco...star of General Hospital, but certainly not the best dancer in that competition. The weekly scores are inconsistent from couple to couple, bearing no resemblance to the performances the audience sees...it's as slanted as the judging in Olympic gymnastics, where the winners are chosen months before the competition begins and the only way an athlete will lose is if they decide to head to a Caribbean island instead of the uneven parallel bars.
And this is the time in the competition where the unfairness of the critiques really becomes apparent: when the couples are on stage together for the group performance, dancing side-by-side, and there's no denying some are truly great, while others move with the grace and skill of heavily medicated ducks.
On now to the flock. Sabrina Bryan and Mark are first this week, and their rehearsal footage shows Sabrina working overtime as she preps a dance video with her fellow Cheetah Girls (thereby reinforcing my biggest complaint with her.) It looks suspiciously like her walk-in closet exploded, as she's garbed in a most unflattering array of t-shirts, a vest, black tights, raggedy cut-off jeans skirts, bizarre off-white high wedge heels...I'm no fashion maven, but I'm seeing Blackwell's List playing a prominent role in this girl's future. Then she refers to Mark as the "fourth Cheetah Girl," and I'm pretty sure their romance must be over. She goes on to say she's "ekshtreemly" worried about learning the routine. I'm not sure if she should be that concerned about her dancing, but she should be concerned about having forgotten how to speak English. The two take to the floor for their fox trot, and while the moves are good, it isn't fluid. And Mark can't stop giving her "Eskimo kisses" throughout the performance, upping his "wussiness" factor by ten. The overall effort, while not their best, isn't horrible. The judges, however, deliver a scathing review. Len says the approach was too hard and aggressive, with not enough highs and lows. Bruno announces there was no finesse, and points out a minor misstep Sabrina had. Carrie Ann disagrees, saying she thought it was great. Total score: only 25.
Get off my foot.
Jennie Garth and Derek are next. It's funny: the announcer keeps calling Garth an actress, but the only thing we ever see her doing besides practicing the dances is being a mommy. It doesn't help her cause she keeps saying during the interviews that she's "not a performer." This week they will perform a mambo...or in Jennie's case, a mombo. For the second week in a row, she's wearing an outfit that looks like it has a tail. Makes you wonder what she's hiding. The performance is very dance by numbers, comes off as amateurish, and there are a couple of obvious mistakes with footwork and holds. But to the surprise of no one, the judges adore it. Bruno exclaims Jennie has steam heat and the dance was fantastic. Carrie Ann decrees the dance was fun for all, and Len describes their mambo as exceptional. I can only conclude they were watching a different show. The judges award 27 points.
A mother and child reunion.
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Comments (7)
Once again, you are so right! Marie IS one of those fainting goats....LOL... so funny!
They certainly are getting alot of mileage out of her drop to the floor.
I wasn't upset to see Cheater Girl go.... but I was shocked she went before Cameron.
Let's see what happens if the writers strike....
Great Recap... you should do more shows.
1 of 7 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on November 4, 2007 12:42 AM
Rough week for you, cattyfan, but thanks for the recap!
I wasn't completely surprised that Cheetah Girl went. First off, I didn't hear all the talk about "surprising results" and whatnot. I have a habit of tuning out the part I don't want to see or listen to (See: Mel B.).
But, I wasn't surprised because of all the talk about her having an instructional dance video out. To be honest, I stopped voting for her because of that...it pissed me off that badly! I don't think I was alone.
I'll also mention though, that I've read several reports of people voting by phone (for her) and getting cut off after a couple of votes. They were told they'd reached their maximum though they'd clearly not. Hm. It's Americal Idol all over again.
Anyway, while the video ticked me off, there were others I thought should've gone before her.
For example...WHO is voting for Jane???? UGH! She really ought to be the next to go.
If Helio goes before her (and a few others), I'm done.
One last mention - I, also, did NOT like the group dance.
2 of 7 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on November 4, 2007 8:00 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
3 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:46 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
4 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:49 AM
I was not shocked that Sabrina went home. If you really think about it, how many of her fans really watch the show? Probably not too many after watching this episode. I just don't think she should have been sent home this early. I thought it would either be marie because she sucks or jane because she plays it safe ALL the TIME! I also think that it wasn't fare to have her on the show because she has experiance in dancing. Even though it's not ballroom danceing, she still has an sdvantage of counting steps and memorizing moves. I like to be able to see people who have no experience progress enstead of knowing that some one with lots of knowledege is going to show you they still can dance. Can I say BORING!!! I think Jennie is doing great. She is really showing she can do it.
I am so curious who is going to win. I think the top three will be... Mel B, Jennie and Helio. But who knows, It will probably end up with Marie because all her 8 kids must have lots of friends and family or Jane because lots of older people watch the show.
5 of 7 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 6, 2007 10:51 AM
Okay, I'm rooting for HELIO, CAMERON and Jennie. Everybody, else can take a hike --- though I hope Marie faints again before she gets the boot.
(I miss that Mark Cuban.)
6 of 7 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on November 6, 2007 1:04 PM
What happened to Catty Fan? No recaps on DWTS for several weeks now!!
7 of 7 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on November 25, 2007 8:57 AM